Desperate Housewives: Burning Blu

Tonight on Desperate Housewives, Lynette finds out about Porter's little accident; Julie comes back and Susan's not so happy with her new boyfriend; Bree acts perfect; Ms. Hildebrand can't take a hint. And fire! Fire!

200811192146
Either that, or Dave's gonna do some magic.

Hey peeps. I want to preface this recap by saying that I am not feeling well. At all. And I just took some cold medicine, so either this recap will be awesome, or it will suck and consist of sentences such as: "Susan walks sahui ghadug hyyyyyyyyyyy uuu." Which just may be more interesting than the show itself. But let's get to it, shall we?

Mary Alice voiceovers about how the owner of The White Horse bar would once a year host the Battle of the Bands, wherein young Fall Out Boy wannabes would play a song consisting of the three chords they can actually play. Which really is no different than Fall Out Boy. The Tom Scavo Experience sits at the bar, watching these young whipper-snappers. Tom acts like a freaking 15 year old, and Dave looks more like an alien than he ever did before. Every time a strobe light goes off, I hope it's his home planet trying to beam him up. While they all worry about sucking, Mike says it will be a night to remember. Mary Alice: "And it was." Oy.

Hd69830Planets
Planet Beige wants you back, Dave.

Cut to The Tom Scavo Experience onstage playing "Mustang Sally." I'm sorry, didn't someone say last week that they had to write an original song for the competition? Yeah, pretty sure they did. Oh, hey - Julie's in the audience! And Susan should never be allowed to dance. Mike is singing lead, and if you didn't think he could get any sexier, you were wrong, my friend. A plumber and a lead singer of a band? Hand me a paper towel.

Smoke starts to leak out from the vents by the stage, and not the good "Here I Go Again" video by Whitesnake kind of smoke. No, there's a fire at The White Horse, and people freak the eff out and run for the emergency exit. Turns out? It's locked. Um, oops. And also, lawsuit. As the Fairview firemen inspect the smoking rubble the next morning, Mary Alice tells us there may have been foul play. And someone was taken into custody. We can't see his or her face, but it's probably Susan or Edie, since they're known for this kind of thing.

Picture 1
Poor Edie. This picture of her will never go away.

A title card tells us that it's The Day Before. At Susan's, Julie and her new beau pull up in a taxi, and Susan looks out the window at Julie's new boyfriend. He looks young, nice, with a darn good head of hair. But, because this is Desperate Housewives, it turns out he's the cab driver, and whoever Suzy-Q thought was the cab driver is really Julie's boyfriend. Played by Steven Weber of "Wings" fame. Can you believe that show was on for 7 years? Seven years?! And can you believe I used to watch it religiously? Only for Faye. Man, I loved me some Faye. Susan looks like she gave herself one highlight on the right side of her hair.

Gabby's home with groceries. At her house, not Susan's. That would be weird, although I would welcome it, because you could count the number of seconds the ladies have spent together as a group in this season on one hand. Get them together, Cherry! On the couch with Carlos sits Ms. Hildebrand. I hope Carlos remembered to place a towel underneath her before she sat down. That kind of thing isn't good for micro-suede. So I hear. Oh, Gabby, why are you wearing so much pink? It hurts my head. Gabby tells Ms. Hildebrand to get the hell out of her house. In the kitchen, in private, Carlos tells Gabby that they're in Ms. Hildebrand's will and will get everything when she dies. And she has bad blood pressure. Well, well. That certainly changes things. Gabby loves her some Ms. Hildebrand!

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You're so getting your hair braided later.

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Comments (27)

lexxi1129:

Shoot, forget about the recap - lets talk about the Cream Brulee ice cream!

Dont you just looove when you put the creamy smooth ice cream in your mouth, and then you encounter the crunchy sugar ribbon...boy, I think I just drooled a little bit on my sweater.

But seriously, great recap!

Clair:

Great recap! And yes, the Julie, Julie, Julie song is real.

hypnotoad:

I'm still sick, but I want to say, a.) The fact that the song is real makes me sad, and b.) When you move your mouse over the "SPRINT" link in the first paragraph above, the pop-up ad says, "Avoid awkward conversations with ease." I thought that was kind of funny.

Nyquil ahoy!

hypnotoad:

ETA: I meant the "SPRINT" link in the first paragraph of the page 4. My bad.

wornsey:

Wanna bet "Blue Odyssey" is the color and make of the van hit by Mike that probably killed Dave's wife and unborn child?

wornsey:

Sorry, sounded smart there for a second until I said unborn child. I meant his child.

georgiababe:

I am so disappointed that it was Dave who set the fire. How predictable.

At the beginning of the ep, when they said that the police were concluding it was arson, my sister was like "Dave did it" and I scoffed because I thought it was WAY too obvious. But then...he did it. Lame.

Also, the person who dies is the psychiatrist? Who cares? A) A blind man could have called that and B) we don't know the psychiatrist so when he died, I was like "Meh. Boring."

This entire "mystery" is far too obvious - it is not enjoyable.

I am not impressed, Cherry. Not at all.

Mr Dangerous:

For Mr. Hypnotoad:

Okay, I thought this was funny, "Mike is singing lead, and if you didn't think he could get any sexier, you were wrong, my friend. A plumber and a lead singer of a band? Hand me a paper towel."

For Georgiababe: I think it's great that you're watching the show with your sister. I think you're asking too much of TV to expect great writing. It's TV. It's an appliance. If you want great writing read an Edith Wharton book.

georgiababe:

And by blind man, I mean Helen Keller.

hypnotoad:

Wornsey -

But didn't Dave say that Blu Odyssey was the name of his brother's band before he died?

Then again, they "had to" "write an original song" for the "battle of the bands," so whatev. This season ain't about consistency at all. And agreed that Dave setting the fire was really predictable. And even Dave killing someone? I was like, "Meh." It's just too late in the season (this is episode 8) for me, for things to get interesting.

georgiababe:

Ah, but Mr. Dangerous, this show WAS good, back in Season 1. Season 2 was rather lackluster, but Season 3 (especially the supermarket episode) was good.

But Season 5 has been a major step down for Cherry and the gang. I wonder if they have new writers?

ChicagoGal:

I cut Bobby Sherman's "Julie, Do Ya Love Me" off the back of a cereal box when I was a kid. (Quisp, I think it was.) Ah, the good ol' days.

Kind of a weak episode for the big "cliffhanger" show. Hard to get excited about this one these days.

:: sigh ::

wornsey:

To hypnotoad,

I forgot about that statement regarding Dave's brother's band, my guess is he could be lying about that. We'll have to wait to see!

aman:

Before this episode I was really hoping that the guy that killed Dave's brother in prison that Dave was out for revenge on was NOT Mike. All they had said previously was that it was in prison, so I hoped maybe Carlos or Orson (since they have both spent time in the big house). That kind of twist would be so season 1 level of awesome. But this episode the writers really hit us over that head with the fact that it is Mike. I'm sad about it. I'm also sad that I over think the show so much that I could probably write a more exciting script. Boo!

Donna Martin Graduates!:

decent episode, better recap.

georgiababe:

Yeah, aman, I'm there with you on that one too. As soon as he said prison, I had this sinking feeling that it was Mike and hoped that I was mistaken - or that Dave was actually lying to Edie about the band name's origin and that it originally had a more sinister meaning.

fire@will:

Great recap.

Maybe we are all wrong about Mike being the object of Dave's affections... maybe it is actually Scarvo, since he's the only one in the band that hasn't been - as far as we know - in prison.

Logic and consistancy were never this shows long suite.

BTW - I saw a 2003 movie on TV this week with Ms. Sheridan in it. I'd never seen her except on Housewives. She looked at least twenty years younger five years ago. So, what the heck happened to her??

blahblah:

Funny recap, O! Get better soon.

Chicago: I remember Quisp! Yum!

Fire@Will: search YouTube for old Nicolette Sheridan videos, especially the bikini scene in The Sure Thing. A completely different person...

DP Hooker:

Also, wasn't Julie like 17 and looking at colleges last season? I thought I remembered Mike talking about her going to some Ivy League school. And now she is 24 with Professor Creepy?

juddfan:

Hm, let me put down a paper towel before I write . . . too funny, hypno!!! I think it was obvious it was Mike he wanted because of all the manipulation of Mike to get him to play in the band. I don't care why he wants revenge, but I do want more McClusky . . . and I think Edie, N.S., looks great, guess it's me . . . I didn't like her all fat faced when she was younger on Falcon Crest or whatev.

It's all so meh to me, the susan/julie, kill me now, the mike and Kath, meh, the interview . . . ugh!!!! It's all so dull, what happened . . .

hypnotoad:

"Falcon Crest." Hee! My sister and I used to BEG to stay up late to eat bean dip and watch some crazy nun set fire to buildings on that show. But alas Nicolette was on "Knots Landing," not "Falcon Crest."

I thought that perhaps Dave might have been gunning for Orson, but I don't think that's an option now. Boo. I did think, for a little bit, that there may be a little Paul Young action going on (that Dave was in prison with Paul Young and blah blah), but no. We can't have anything remotely complicated in season 5, can we, Cherry! Dang. I really hope that the last season takes us back to the Youngs and Felicia Tilman, since that door is still freaking wide open . . .

Also, I'm feeling better, and I've had quite a few Sea Breezes (the 2nd gayest drink ever, after white wine spritzers).

gsensel:

Great recap.

Well I have thoughts on who is arrested, and why Dave is all out to kill Mike. The first is iffy, but I'm pretty sure it might be Porter just looking at the wrists and the fact the altercation that everyone saw and the owner running around saying it was Porter.
But there is a clue that Blue Oddessy was the name of Dave's brother before he died. He was killed while in prison.

As others are pointing out that is probably very predictable therefore will be right, but i hope its wrong.

jazzee:

What a funny, funny recap.

Maybe we're in the minority here, but my coworkers and sisters really liked this episode. Except for the always stupid Susan's move to stop the marriage proposal.
The doctor, an expert at the criminally insane, goes into a room alone with this whack job? Come on?

Reiray:

"Planet Beige wants you back Dave."

LOL!!!

hypnotoad:

Good point, jazzee.

All right, my little desperate housepeople. There is no episode this week, which means there's no recap, so have a good Thanksgiving! I'll be spending the holiday with the only man in my life: Charles Shaw. Of Charles Shaw wines . . . the $3 bottle variety.

Happy Thanksgiving!

udance2:

I have obviously missed a few episodes so can someone please tell me what happened to Susan and Mike's baby that was born last season?

Thanks......

hypnotoad:

He's still around. Kind of like how 2 (and sometimes 3) of Lynette's kids are still around. They are still there (little M.J. is now in kindergarten or first grade, and was in a couple episodes at the beginning), but aren't in a lot of episodes. We've seen Penny Scavo for 3.5 seconds.

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