Lynette visits Anne "My Life is a Lifetime Movie or Mini-Series" Schilling in the hospital, still recovering from what I'm sure she told the staff was something like, "Oh, I was getting dressed in the dark and I fell face-first into the doorknob twice and then I fell down the stairs a couple times and then bumped my head on the kitchen table before falling on the dishwasher door that I left open and then I fell down the basement stairs and rammed myself into the washer and dryer repeatedly on accident and my husband totally had nothing to do with this but don't tell him what happened because he loves me so much and I love him I really do." Lynette says that Warren is blaming Porter for the fire. Anne's all, whaaaaaa?! Porter would never do that! Again. Lynette gives her an envelope full of cash so Anne can "leave town" while Porter deals with all this poo. Anne's all, "What if I'm not ready to leave town?" But she says it in a very blackmail-y, slightly evil kind of way, which makes me believe that she was never really pregnant. But again, I don't think Season 5 DH writers are that capable of making something interesting happen. Lynette snatches the money away and says that she'll pick up Anne and drive her to the bus station tonight, and she can count the money then. Why is it always the bus station? No one ever leaves town on an airplane or train. Granted, the bus is cheap (you can take the Mega Bus from Chicago to Milwaukee for $1), but you get what you pay for.
Don't make me beat you.
Susan arrives at Katherine's door and says she needs a little girlfriend time. As Katie takes macadamia nut cookies out of the oven, Susan says that she knows Mike is dating a friend of hers, and it's "gotta be Lisa Wallace." Ah, yes, Lisa Wallace. Remember her from that episode she was never in? Who is this Lisa Wallace? A skank, apparently, according to Susan. Katie talks about how Susan keeps saying she's over Mike and how "Lisa" was waiting to tell Susan because she wasn't sure if the Mike thing was going to last (which I don't believe. If Mike Delfino wanted to have sex with me on a regular basis, I'd be rubbing it in everyone's face. So to speak). We get to the part where Susan takes a bite of a cookie (dude, you knew it was coming) and realizes that the skank is Katherine.
Susan says "it's fine," but it's clearly not, and when Susan finds out Bree knew, she goes over to Bree's to confront her, and things turn ugly when Susan tells Bree that Bree should have been honest with her. Oh, dip, Susan opens a big-ass can of worms as Bree opens her ever-so-tired-because-of-Orson's-snoring yapper and tells Susan that she never really wanted to divorce Mike and "you hit a really bad patch after the accident buy you never stopped loving him, and why would you? Your relationship never had a natural end, so face it: You're not mad at me, or Mike, or Katherine, you're mad at yourself for letting your marriage fall apart." Oh, hell yeah! Bree says she either has to tell Mike how she feels or move on, because that's what Mike is trying to do.
D'oh
Carlos is all excited at the hospital. The doctor comes in and says that the eye surgeon can fit him in next Friday, to which Gabby doesn't react well, since that's not enough time to go from a size 2 to a size 0. Seriously. Even when she's "fat" she's not even close to normal for a lady. She says that Carlos can't have surgery on a Friday cuz surgeons are all distracted on Fridays, and when that doesn't work, she blames it on money, to which Carlos says they can use their insurance. Um, what? I'm sorry, but I highly doubt that the masseuses at the Fairview country club get an insurance policy that covers 85% of eye surgery. Whatever. Long story short, Carlos is having the surgery on Friday. Yay!
Bree refuses to let Orson sleep in their bed, but Orson begs her to let him. He says chamomile tea helps the snoring, and offers to make her some as well. He puts some sleeping meds in her tea, and when he brings her the tea, she says she took a sleeping pill while he was downstairs. Orson thoughtfully tells her not to drink her tea because it counter-affects the pill. Quick one, that Orson. Bree pretty much passes out in bed. Orson happy.
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Comments (8)
Why would it matter that Orson's doctor is Andrew's boyfriend? It definitely caught me off guard, but then again, I had forgotten Andrew was even gay since it hasn't been mentioned in like 3 seasons.
Also, there is no way in hell that model Gaby would have eaten all those ribs in public (without barfing them up in the bathroom 10 minutes later) OR that Carlos, being the asshole that he was at the beginning of this show, would have found that appealing.
Great last picture of Beige...I mean Dave.
1 of 8 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on December 4, 2008 9:16 PM
I don't really know how I feel about this episode.
The highlight, for me, was Orson's hysterical snoring and Bree's subsequent expression. And her pancake spiel.
And also, I don't know where you live, but in Canada, they have the McRib...
They brought it back awhile ago.
2 of 8 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 5, 2008 1:16 AM
The McRib is seasonal here in the U.S. At least it has been in every place I've lived. I thought it would be here through the holiday season, but the McDonald's I went to downtown didn't have it on the menu anymore. Boo.
I liked the Bree/Orson storyline, and the Katherine/Susan interaction. I'm a bit confused about Anne's motives. Was it her intention this whole time just to get freaking bus fare and money from the Scavos so she could leave her husband? I'm assuming so, but it's not like she was poor. Surely she had some money saved. But it is disappointing that all the curves we've been thrown this season have been predictable.
3 of 8 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on December 5, 2008 5:00 AM
I agree, Andrew does have pretty low standards.
(I thought my standards were low but even I wouldn't do THAT guy. Though I want that statue on the window sill behind him.)
I kind of like Dave's lips.
4 of 8 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 5, 2008 7:44 AM
Speaking of continuity, this has been bugging me since I saw the scene. Bree slept on the couch, and was p.o.'d about how uncomfortable it was, but hello......the last time they were fighting, didn't Orson sleep in the guest room...in a bed that looked as luxurious as their master bed? argh
5 of 8 | Posted by qupert | Posted on December 5, 2008 8:30 AM
Good recap - but I'm going into depression - from McClusky deprevation.
The spouse abuse story line hit pretty close to home - reminding me how poorly our society can handle such situations. Unless the woman (or man) has their own resources, they are pretty much on their own - no one will offer meaningful help until after it's too late.
6 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 5, 2008 3:42 PM
qupert: I kind of thought maybe she was sleeping downstairs on the couch b/c the cguest room was too close to the Master BR and therefore she could still hear the snoring...but of course I am probably giving the writers too much credit for that one...
7 of 8 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on December 8, 2008 7:22 AM
Great review as always. Despite what McDonald's was saying last year the McRib is not gone forever. You can get them in Southwest MO and Southeast KS. I have had 2 and it was more than enough. Only got 2 because it was on sale.
8 of 8 | Posted by gsensel | Posted on December 8, 2008 7:29 PM