Lynette and Anne pull up to the bus stop, and Anne asks Lynette to tell Porter something for her, bringing up the fact that she loves him. Again. Lynette doesn't want to her it, shoving the envelope in her face and saying a quick "good luck," and "when the baby comes, don't contact Porter." Lynette tells Anne to call her and Tom and they'll help her out "from a distance." Anne says, "There's no baby. Never was." Oh, shit! I totally called it! Well . . . along with everyone else watching this season . . . And with those blackmail-y black eyes, she turns and walks away. Well, Season 5 writers, well played. Well played.
Next you're gonna tell me that she's gonna come back to town!
Orson answers the phone in his pajamas, and it's Andrew on the other line, walking through Bed, Bath, & Beyond or Pier 1 or something, totally freaking the eff out. I guess someone called him and said Bree was late for the cooking demonstration she was supposed to do at the mall today. Uh oh. Orson runs upstairs and wakes Bree, who wakes up confused. And thirsty. Orson offers to get her some juice, but she's all, "It's okay, I'll just drink this tea." Oh, oopsie daisies! Cut to the mall, where Orson is dragging around a groggy Bree. I'm sure the mall patrons are all, "There goes Bree Van de Kamp. Drunk. Again. Ooh, wicker tables are 60% off!" Bree stumbles up to the cooking podium to make her buckwheat pancakes. There's a bunch of kids in the front row. This cannot end well. Bree says some very odd and inappropriate things about herself and Danielle stealing her baby, and asks for a volunteer for one of the girls to be her daughter.
Hell yeah! That lady's way crazier than my mom!
Susan calls Katherine and says it's cool for her to date Mike. Susan declines an invitation to come over for a cappuccino and then hangs up and sighs. And that's it for that scene!
Porter is on the phone in his room, leaving a message for Anne about how he needs to see her. Lynette comes in says they need to talk. She asks Porter if he started the fire, and tells him to be honest, letting him know that if he did, they'll find a way out of the mess. But if he lies and she finds out later that he did start the fire, she'll always love him of course, but she will never believe in him, and if she can't believe in him, she can't help him. Lynette's a good mom. Devastatingly honest, but a good mom. Porter says he doesn't know who started the fire, but he didn't do it. Lynette says they need to trust each other, but when Porter says Anne hasn't returned his calls and asks Lynette if she knows where Anne is, Lynette says she's doesn't. Well. What's good for the goose, eh Lynette?
It looks like someone played Bingo all over that sweater.
Carlos is in bed talking about seeing Christmas lights and holiday stuff again. Seriously? That's what he's excited about seeing? Gabby is all, be prepared because some of the decorations may have gone bad. It's an analogy, folks. Carlos says he'll always find Gabby attractive. He then tells he a story about how he knew he was going to marry her when they went to some restaurant and she wore a red dress and ate a crapload of ribs and laughed at herself for being sloppy and covered in bbq sauce. Aw, now I want some ribs! Or just a McRib. Mmmm . . . damn you McDonald's! You took them away!
Bree and Orson schedule an appointment with the doctor to correct Orson's snoring. Orson's terrified, but Bree's all, "Oh, he owes me one." Bree asks if the doctor is married, and he says no, but he just moved in with someone. Bree explains that when someone you're with does something bad, like drugging you, then sometimes there's a balance of power that has to shift . . . or something. Honestly, I really wasn't paying much attention. Anyway, after they leave, the doc picks up the phone and is all, "Hey hon, promise me something? Tell me we'll never grow into one of those insane couples who just lives to make each other crazy." Guess who's on the other end of the phone? Andrew! Betcha never saw that one coming.
Andrew has really lowered his standards over the years.
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Comments (8)
Why would it matter that Orson's doctor is Andrew's boyfriend? It definitely caught me off guard, but then again, I had forgotten Andrew was even gay since it hasn't been mentioned in like 3 seasons.
Also, there is no way in hell that model Gaby would have eaten all those ribs in public (without barfing them up in the bathroom 10 minutes later) OR that Carlos, being the asshole that he was at the beginning of this show, would have found that appealing.
Great last picture of Beige...I mean Dave.
1 of 8 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on December 4, 2008 9:16 PM
I don't really know how I feel about this episode.
The highlight, for me, was Orson's hysterical snoring and Bree's subsequent expression. And her pancake spiel.
And also, I don't know where you live, but in Canada, they have the McRib...
They brought it back awhile ago.
2 of 8 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 5, 2008 1:16 AM
The McRib is seasonal here in the U.S. At least it has been in every place I've lived. I thought it would be here through the holiday season, but the McDonald's I went to downtown didn't have it on the menu anymore. Boo.
I liked the Bree/Orson storyline, and the Katherine/Susan interaction. I'm a bit confused about Anne's motives. Was it her intention this whole time just to get freaking bus fare and money from the Scavos so she could leave her husband? I'm assuming so, but it's not like she was poor. Surely she had some money saved. But it is disappointing that all the curves we've been thrown this season have been predictable.
3 of 8 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on December 5, 2008 5:00 AM
I agree, Andrew does have pretty low standards.
(I thought my standards were low but even I wouldn't do THAT guy. Though I want that statue on the window sill behind him.)
I kind of like Dave's lips.
4 of 8 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 5, 2008 7:44 AM
Speaking of continuity, this has been bugging me since I saw the scene. Bree slept on the couch, and was p.o.'d about how uncomfortable it was, but hello......the last time they were fighting, didn't Orson sleep in the guest room...in a bed that looked as luxurious as their master bed? argh
5 of 8 | Posted by qupert | Posted on December 5, 2008 8:30 AM
Good recap - but I'm going into depression - from McClusky deprevation.
The spouse abuse story line hit pretty close to home - reminding me how poorly our society can handle such situations. Unless the woman (or man) has their own resources, they are pretty much on their own - no one will offer meaningful help until after it's too late.
6 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 5, 2008 3:42 PM
qupert: I kind of thought maybe she was sleeping downstairs on the couch b/c the cguest room was too close to the Master BR and therefore she could still hear the snoring...but of course I am probably giving the writers too much credit for that one...
7 of 8 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on December 8, 2008 7:22 AM
Great review as always. Despite what McDonald's was saying last year the McRib is not gone forever. You can get them in Southwest MO and Southeast KS. I have had 2 and it was more than enough. Only got 2 because it was on sale.
8 of 8 | Posted by gsensel | Posted on December 8, 2008 7:29 PM