Over at the Wisteria Lane Magnet School for Gifted and Gay students, Dylan is performing on the cello while Adam and Katherine watch proudly. During intermission Adam goes to the parking lot to make a call and is approached by a seemingly polite stranger who asks for Adam's help to fix his tire. What Adam doesn't know is that this man is Wayne and is about to whomp him over the head with a tire iron any...o no he knocked him out.
While Kayla sits in her room Tom comes in to have a traditional father/daughter chat with her. "Kitten, why did you frame mommy and coerce minors to commit arson?" Kayla tells her dad that she hates Lynette and things are better when she's not around. Tom tells Kayla that she will have to be sent away to wherever Bree sent her troubled daughter. Kayla promises to tell the police everything if she can just stay there with her daddy. Tom tells her that she needs help and will have to go and live somewhere else so Kayla turns icy cold and tells Tom that she will continue to lie about Lynette abusing her and generally be a bitch if he threatens to make her leave. Tom coolly picks up his cell phone and asks the doctor if he heard all of that before walking out of the room. You successfully tricked an 11 year old. Proud of yourself, Tom?
As Susan and Mike prepare to be discharged from the hospital, nineteen days later which means Susan has the best insurance ever, Mike goes to the bathroom to collect her toiletries: spackle, rubbers and such. While he is in the bathroom a nurse brings in balloons that read "Bon Voyage Conner." Since Mike doesn't know that the baby's name is Conner, or that the baby can read or speak French, Susan tries to make the nurse leave. Susan tells the nurse that she has to get the balloons out of the room before her husband sees them since a clown molested Mike when he was a child. A desperate attempt to make the nurse leave or a stunning revelation that explains so much? You decide. As Mike exits the bathroom Susan quickly pops all of the balloons but misses one, revealing her duplicity.
Hey, that's Lynette's wig!
Susan tells Mike that she hates the name Maynard and doesn't think it describes such a beautiful, albeit terrifying to look directly at, child. Mike informs Susan that his grandfather started the first integrated elementary school in Tennessee. He also took Mike in after Mike's father went to prison and wouldn't allow Mike to go to said elementary school because he didn't like him "mingling with the darkies." Susan realizes that Maynard isn't such a bad name after all and nothing really matches Delfino other than Guido anyway.
Kayla's grandparents have come to take her away, ha ha, they've come to take her away and they have no idea what they are getting into. Tom takes a moment to tell Kayla that he loves her and he promises to come visit, barring global warming and as long as she promises to stay behind the protective glass while he's there. Lynette tries to apologize for the way things went down between them but Kayla won't accept it. Kayla gets in the car with her grandparents and we hear her cry as the car drives away.
"Daddy, no! I'm sorry! These people smell old! Don't make me go! Ew, the lady just offered me hard candy and it has lint on it! Get that shit away from me! Yuck, the old guy just farted and he locked the windows! Come on, that's just childish!"
As Mary Alice drones on about the importance of names we see Adam unconscious and tied to a chair. No he wasn't unfortunate enough to fall for Julie's frantic call to help her kill a bug only to be drugged and molested like so many other previous neighbors, rather he was stupid enough to get kidnapped by Wayne to be tortured for information. Wayne is determined to find his missing daughter and will stop at nothing to get what he wants including tying people to chairs and torturing them. It's a shame he never met Julie.
End, hour one.
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Comments (6)
Firstly, great recap as usual.
However, I am having some poblems with the actual show. First: Why was Wayne beating the crap out of Adam, and almost killing him? If he wanted to know what happened to Dylan why didn't he just ask? Confusion. Second: Why did Katherine have to go all the way to Romania to find a fake Dylan, and how did she have time? Confusion. Third: Do you think that Lynette will stop wearing wigs next season, and put on some damn makeup? Confusion. Fourth: Where was Bree's "child" this whole episode? Why didn't she bring him to play poker like Susan did? CONFUSION!!
I have been watching Desperate Houswives since the beginning and even though it can be utterly ridiculous, I still watch. However, I am excited about next season, and seeing Gabby's chubby Latina children.
1 of 6 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on May 22, 2008 5:39 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
2 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:37 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
3 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:42 AM
oh Fozzie, this can't be the end . . . sniff . . . what will I do without your darker than a black hole wit and charm!!!! BOOWHOOWHOOWHOO!!!
Have to say I really enjoyed this epi, and the recap was deliciously scathing as well!
Romania . . . huh . . . but for once the season mystery paid off pretty well. Seems the writings on the wall for the inevitable Susan/plumber break, so I'm glad they just advanced 5 years instead of dragging us through that snooze fest.
Kath is still an evil step-bot, despite her story, and if they get rid of Edie, I'll be very mad!!!! She's my favorite cougar!!!
I'm not a Gabby fan, but it might be fun to see her character go so far off it's beaten path . . . w or w/out carlos--I mean, I know he's blind, and not nearly as much fun as he was, for instance, he would know the door, blind or not, but for some reason, he's not stripped once since the accident . . . it's not right!!!!
I sincerely hope that little Kayla is back as the teenage vixen we can root for, and the whole reason they advanced 5 years is coz of her (or did they find that botox is cancerous and they wanted a ready excuse for the sudden aging all around)
Lastly, I'd have hit the minister, mmmmm . . . . me likes some big Daddy pee-paw with cleft chins!
4 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:47 PM
I love your recaps! Can't wait for next season!!!
5 of 6 | Posted by Dreamstallion33 | Posted on May 30, 2008 4:24 PM
I am so confused about this whole flash forward thing.
Are they going to start the next season 5 years later? Seriously, what the hell?
If they do that, I'm gonna be PISSED. Or are they just giving us a taste of the future or something? Confusing.
This season honestly did nothing for me - it was pretty blah. And completely far-fetched. I mean, Housewives has never been known for its realistic storylines, but this one took the cake, for me.
A good recap for a "meh" season. Thanks Fozzie.
6 of 6 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 30, 2008 5:09 PM