When Katherine goes to the police to report Adam missing, she is reminded of all of the times that she had been there before to report Wayne's abuse. Sadly as a police officer himself, Wayne had a little pull at the station and Katherine's claims were never taken seriously. While at the station one night a female police officer, a sister in vag, told Katherine that her only hope is to pull a Sleeping with the Enemy and flee in the night. The officer says that she stopped watching the movie halfway through, during the funny hat montage, but assumes Julia Roberts lived a full happy life after that. Katherine took Angie Dickinson's advice, which is when she fled to live with her aunt on Wisteria Lane where nothing dreadful ever happens.
The police finally come to take Katherine's statement about her missing husband, but are as flippant and glib as Matt Lauer when she tells them that she thinks Wayne was involved. The policeman talking to Katherine knows Wayne, having golfed with him and experimented a little with Wayne at a key party, and knows that Wayne would never hurt a fly. Katherine realizes that her only option is once again flee the city since it worked out so well before.
He only beats you because he loves you. Get over yourself.
When Katherine comes home she begins packing. Dylan comes in and demands an explanation for her mother's wild hysterics knowing that her mom's period isn't supposed to be for two more weeks. Katherine realizes that the only way that Dylan will understand why they have to leave is to tell her the truth, a fact to which we, the loyal viewing audience, are not yet privy. After Katherine divulges the horrible, awful truth to her daughter we see Dylan run out of the house crying hysterically.
It's weekly poker day again with our favorite four ladies pretending to understand poker while they talk about the people that aren't there. Bree wants Katherine to start coming to the games but the rest of the ladies aren't keen on the idea since Katherine has a....she has a certain way of....she just doesn't.....she's a raging bitch. As Bree tries to defend Katherine's personality, since Bree shares the same one, Katherine enters and tells Bree that she has to leave town and can't help with the gay wedding. Bree is furious at the raging bitch for bailing on her, but looks at the positive side since she has three slav....employees at her will.
Let's switch to Old Maid.
When Susan comes home with her list of chores from Bree, to pass on to Julie and Mike, she finds Julie looking more wide eyed and clench jawed than normal. Julie just received her acceptance letter from Princeton and has to leave next week for an honorary summer internship based on her Senior thesis: Mothers: Parasitic Attachments in Elizabethan Poetry. Susan is less than thrilled and tells Julie that she can't go since she and Mike don't have the money to send her so she should just stay there and get a job at Tom's pizza joint like Bree's son. "Who's single by the way."
When Lynette brings home her list of tasks, she finds Tom in a pissy mood as he packs up the rest of Kayla's stuff, mostly consisting of Barbie heads and partially decomposed cats. Bree asks Tom if he is ever going to stop being so passive aggressive toward her after the incident with Kayla, and Tom says that he is angry at the situation (meaning marriage) and not her (definitely her). Lynette tells Tom that he can be as angry as he wants to be as long as he will make the mini pizzas for Bree.
Gaby comes home with her chore list and passes it off to her blind husband and thumbless Seeing Eye dog. Carlos immediately begins bitching about money, bitch bitch bitch, it's all he ever is. Gaby dismisses Carlos's complaining by standing still and quiet until he leaves the room to read Playboy in Braille. Gaby's phone rings and it's Ellie asking for one last favor from Gaby: her teddy bear that Ellie's dad gave to her when she was just a little drug dealer. Gaby goes to retrieve the bear and finds it oddly lumpy and heavy, prompting her to unzip it. Gaby looks inside and her pointy jaw drops to the floor when she sees $118,000 in cash stashed inside.
"Do all teddy bears have this inside? No wonder Lynette has so many kids."
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Comments (6)
Firstly, great recap as usual.
However, I am having some poblems with the actual show. First: Why was Wayne beating the crap out of Adam, and almost killing him? If he wanted to know what happened to Dylan why didn't he just ask? Confusion. Second: Why did Katherine have to go all the way to Romania to find a fake Dylan, and how did she have time? Confusion. Third: Do you think that Lynette will stop wearing wigs next season, and put on some damn makeup? Confusion. Fourth: Where was Bree's "child" this whole episode? Why didn't she bring him to play poker like Susan did? CONFUSION!!
I have been watching Desperate Houswives since the beginning and even though it can be utterly ridiculous, I still watch. However, I am excited about next season, and seeing Gabby's chubby Latina children.
1 of 6 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on May 22, 2008 5:39 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
2 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:37 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
3 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:42 AM
oh Fozzie, this can't be the end . . . sniff . . . what will I do without your darker than a black hole wit and charm!!!! BOOWHOOWHOOWHOO!!!
Have to say I really enjoyed this epi, and the recap was deliciously scathing as well!
Romania . . . huh . . . but for once the season mystery paid off pretty well. Seems the writings on the wall for the inevitable Susan/plumber break, so I'm glad they just advanced 5 years instead of dragging us through that snooze fest.
Kath is still an evil step-bot, despite her story, and if they get rid of Edie, I'll be very mad!!!! She's my favorite cougar!!!
I'm not a Gabby fan, but it might be fun to see her character go so far off it's beaten path . . . w or w/out carlos--I mean, I know he's blind, and not nearly as much fun as he was, for instance, he would know the door, blind or not, but for some reason, he's not stripped once since the accident . . . it's not right!!!!
I sincerely hope that little Kayla is back as the teenage vixen we can root for, and the whole reason they advanced 5 years is coz of her (or did they find that botox is cancerous and they wanted a ready excuse for the sudden aging all around)
Lastly, I'd have hit the minister, mmmmm . . . . me likes some big Daddy pee-paw with cleft chins!
4 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:47 PM
I love your recaps! Can't wait for next season!!!
5 of 6 | Posted by Dreamstallion33 | Posted on May 30, 2008 4:24 PM
I am so confused about this whole flash forward thing.
Are they going to start the next season 5 years later? Seriously, what the hell?
If they do that, I'm gonna be PISSED. Or are they just giving us a taste of the future or something? Confusing.
This season honestly did nothing for me - it was pretty blah. And completely far-fetched. I mean, Housewives has never been known for its realistic storylines, but this one took the cake, for me.
A good recap for a "meh" season. Thanks Fozzie.
6 of 6 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 30, 2008 5:09 PM