Bree and Lynette are going over the wedding details with Neil and Bob at Scavo's Eateteria. Bree mentions the ice sculpture and one of the gays, I forget his real name so we'll call him the bottom, seethes with anger that he is not getting the fairy castle that he dreamed about as a little girl. His partner, Bob, tells Bottom that he changed the sculpture upon realizing that neither of them were 14 year old girls anymore. The bottom concedes since Daddy Knows Best.
Bree takes a break from the planning when she sees Orson enter the restaurant to offer his services. Bree rebuffs the latest of Orson's sad attempts to get back with her by offering his calligraphy skills for the place cards.
While Bree and Orson chat, Tom takes the opportunity to tell Bottom that he should stand his ground and not let his partner walk all over him the way Lynette does to Tom. If he doesn't make a stand then his partner will just ride him, pushing and pushing and just use him until he finally just loses it and explodes. The Bottom finds his inner Erin Brocovich and stands up to Bob demanding his fairy princess ice sculpture. Bob gives in, until Lee, Lee! That's his name. Lee! Until Lee walks off at which point Bob tells Bree to stick with the cherub and when Lee bitchs about it he will buy him some jewelry. See the gays are just like you.
Wayne gets a call from his buddy at the station giving him a courtesy heads up that Katherine has filed a report claiming that Wayne kidnapped her husband. Wayne thanks his buddy for the heads up before disconnecting the call to continue beating Adam to a bloody pulp. Quick sidenote: the actor playing Wayne's cop friend also played D'Hoffryn on Buffy. See, you learn stuff here at TVgasm. When Adam is no longer responsive to Wayne's pounding, possibly dead, Wayne decides to go back to the source for answers. After Wayne leaves the room, Adam opens his eyes and pushes himself off the floor.
Yup. Still hot.
As Gaby and Carlos make gift bags of poppers for the wedding, they receive a call from Ellie asking where he damn bear is. Gaby says that she couldn't find it but Ellie knows from Gaby's tone, which is her usual tone, that Gaby is lying. Ellie tells Gaby that she is coming to get her money and if Gaby tries to stop her she will throw acid in her face. Acid. Gaby's one weakness!
Katherine comes to Susan to ask if she has seen Dylan lately. Susan says that she has not seen Dylan but not to worry, sometimes she doesn't see Julie for weeks at a time when the fleet's in town. Katherine tells Susan that she and Dylan had a fight after Katherine confessed that she had been lying to Dylan her entire life and fears that she may have lost her forever. Susan again tells Katherine not to worry since she also lied to her own daughter, telling Julie that she was not adopted from a box of howler monkeys as a baby.
As Bree Brees about organizing the pin the wang on the dude game and butt plug centerpieces she receives a call that the ice sculpture can't be delivered as planned. Since sisters are doing it for themselves lately, Bree goes to pick it up. While driving back with the cherub sculpture rapidly melting in the back seat, not only does her cell phone die but she also gets a flat tire. Bree leaves the car by the side of the road, obviously convinced it's easier to just buy a new one, and decides to carry the sculpture back to Wisteria Lane. Shortly after the wings of the cherub fall off, a car pulls up beside her to offer a ride driven by none other than Orson. He may be an attempted murderer but he also has air conditioning.
Bree considers snuggling up next to the sculpture for warmth.
When Katherine returns home she finds Wayne waiting for her ominously. Katherine races for the kitchen drawer where her gun is kept, safely tucked away since Dylan never learned how to open drawers. Before she can retrieve her gun, Wayne slams her hand in the drawer and points the gun at her.
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Comments (6)
Firstly, great recap as usual.
However, I am having some poblems with the actual show. First: Why was Wayne beating the crap out of Adam, and almost killing him? If he wanted to know what happened to Dylan why didn't he just ask? Confusion. Second: Why did Katherine have to go all the way to Romania to find a fake Dylan, and how did she have time? Confusion. Third: Do you think that Lynette will stop wearing wigs next season, and put on some damn makeup? Confusion. Fourth: Where was Bree's "child" this whole episode? Why didn't she bring him to play poker like Susan did? CONFUSION!!
I have been watching Desperate Houswives since the beginning and even though it can be utterly ridiculous, I still watch. However, I am excited about next season, and seeing Gabby's chubby Latina children.
1 of 6 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on May 22, 2008 5:39 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
2 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:37 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
3 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:42 AM
oh Fozzie, this can't be the end . . . sniff . . . what will I do without your darker than a black hole wit and charm!!!! BOOWHOOWHOOWHOO!!!
Have to say I really enjoyed this epi, and the recap was deliciously scathing as well!
Romania . . . huh . . . but for once the season mystery paid off pretty well. Seems the writings on the wall for the inevitable Susan/plumber break, so I'm glad they just advanced 5 years instead of dragging us through that snooze fest.
Kath is still an evil step-bot, despite her story, and if they get rid of Edie, I'll be very mad!!!! She's my favorite cougar!!!
I'm not a Gabby fan, but it might be fun to see her character go so far off it's beaten path . . . w or w/out carlos--I mean, I know he's blind, and not nearly as much fun as he was, for instance, he would know the door, blind or not, but for some reason, he's not stripped once since the accident . . . it's not right!!!!
I sincerely hope that little Kayla is back as the teenage vixen we can root for, and the whole reason they advanced 5 years is coz of her (or did they find that botox is cancerous and they wanted a ready excuse for the sudden aging all around)
Lastly, I'd have hit the minister, mmmmm . . . . me likes some big Daddy pee-paw with cleft chins!
4 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:47 PM
I love your recaps! Can't wait for next season!!!
5 of 6 | Posted by Dreamstallion33 | Posted on May 30, 2008 4:24 PM
I am so confused about this whole flash forward thing.
Are they going to start the next season 5 years later? Seriously, what the hell?
If they do that, I'm gonna be PISSED. Or are they just giving us a taste of the future or something? Confusing.
This season honestly did nothing for me - it was pretty blah. And completely far-fetched. I mean, Housewives has never been known for its realistic storylines, but this one took the cake, for me.
A good recap for a "meh" season. Thanks Fozzie.
6 of 6 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 30, 2008 5:09 PM