Bree rushes out the front door as Susan, Lynette and Gaby rush to the front door after seeing Adam drive through the wedding. Bree remains calm and tells the ladies that they don't have a lot of time and there is a lot of story to get straight. The police take the ladies away to take their stories, which Bree cleverly developed, with all of them stating how Wayne had been harassing and threatening Katherine for years. They always knew he would do something like this. Katherine always talked about how afraid she was of him. Wayne was quiet. Kind of a loner. Kept to himself. Read Catcher in the Rye a lot. D'Hoffryn comes to Katherine and tells the police to uncuff her since she was obviously attacked by Wayne and only acted in self-defense.
"Thanks for giving us your statement, Mrs. Delfino."
When Katherine walks out of the house, all of the ladies smile at her, well Susan does that cockeyed sideways grimace that her face allows, letting Katherine know that she's one of them now.
NOW FOR THE BEST PART!
Black screen. Word flash up. "Five Years Later."
All FIVE ladies are sitting around Gaby's table for their weekly poker game. Lynette's hair has grown back, Bree is dressed like Diane Keaton, Katherine is obviously part of the group, Susan looks suspiciously younger, and Gaby just looks like hammered shit.
See? Old Maid is easier!
After the game Gaby goes upstairs and says that the ladies have left and she can make dinner now, only to find to chubby Latina children playing in her makeup and dresses. Gaby angrily chases her kids out of the room, but Carlos is nowhere to be seen.
I like tans on my hands, not on my face!
Bree comes home to find Andrew dressed like a business gay on his cell phone spouting a laundry list of tasks for Bree to do including approving the proof of her next book and taking an interview from The New York Times. Orson calls down from upstairs to alert Bree that the bath is getting cold, so she puts all of her duties as a....super famous book proofing Newspaper interviewee aside to take a bubble bath with her husband.
I already told the paper about the time you left me homeless on the side of the road, so you can skip that part. Yay suit!
Lynette walks in confused as to why there is another cop car outside. The police officer informs Lynette that her son has broken into another car at the mall and has taken it for a joyride. Lynette apologizes for Porter's criminal prowess only to be informed that this time it was Preston, the right-sided allegedly "good" twin this time.
I'm so sending him to live with Kayla's grandparents.
Katherine checks her messages to hear Dylan calling to inform her mother that she's back from Paris and she's engaged! Adam doesn't seem to be there either.
First new housewife to survive a season finale! Do I get to be in the credits next year?
Susan comes home to find her dutiful and smoking hot husband waiting for her. Her husband Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk!! What the?
I have to warn you. I'm not a bottom.
Where's Mike? Is Brian Kinney not gay anymore? Is Julie now a doctor leading a lab in mandiblitis research? Will Kayla be back as a sassy 16 year old vixen hell bent on revenge? Which one of Lynette's sons will be the gay one? When did Andrew get a suit? Did Bob and Lee actually get married? Where's Carlos? Where's Adam? Why must I wait a whole summer????
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Comments (6)
Firstly, great recap as usual.
However, I am having some poblems with the actual show. First: Why was Wayne beating the crap out of Adam, and almost killing him? If he wanted to know what happened to Dylan why didn't he just ask? Confusion. Second: Why did Katherine have to go all the way to Romania to find a fake Dylan, and how did she have time? Confusion. Third: Do you think that Lynette will stop wearing wigs next season, and put on some damn makeup? Confusion. Fourth: Where was Bree's "child" this whole episode? Why didn't she bring him to play poker like Susan did? CONFUSION!!
I have been watching Desperate Houswives since the beginning and even though it can be utterly ridiculous, I still watch. However, I am excited about next season, and seeing Gabby's chubby Latina children.
1 of 6 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on May 22, 2008 5:39 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
2 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:37 AM
I'm not even done reading the recap, but I just wanted to point out that I nearly spit out my tea when I saw the caption underneath the pic of Carlos looking into the closet. Hi.lar.ious.
I thought Wayne did ask Adam where/who she was and that we weren't shown that so that we'd get the dramatic impact later when we saw Adam's face again. I figured every time Wayne asked a question, Adam just said nothing and Wayne hit him.
I think Katherine went to Romania because she's extra and she, like Bree, probably just wanted to ensure that there was no way anyone in the States could call her out on Dylan not being her child. (Or maybe she's just an Angelina fan.) And I think she would have had the time (to go), I mean she'd probably just run away from her Wayne again, and needed to leave town before anyone realized her daughter was "missing."
As for Lynette, I've no clue. I HOPE she goes back to her hair, five years is a good enough time period for her to grow her hair back.
And I don't know where Bree's (grand)child was either. Probably in Susan's bassinet? Maybe they just thought we wouldn't notice? Perhaps if Bree (and Orson by stalker association) hadn't been gallivanting everywhere throughout the whole episode, it wouldn't have been so obvious. You would never think they'd "had" a child.
And though I'm not finished yet, I'm sure I'll continue to love this awesome recap. Thanks!
3 of 6 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:42 AM
oh Fozzie, this can't be the end . . . sniff . . . what will I do without your darker than a black hole wit and charm!!!! BOOWHOOWHOOWHOO!!!
Have to say I really enjoyed this epi, and the recap was deliciously scathing as well!
Romania . . . huh . . . but for once the season mystery paid off pretty well. Seems the writings on the wall for the inevitable Susan/plumber break, so I'm glad they just advanced 5 years instead of dragging us through that snooze fest.
Kath is still an evil step-bot, despite her story, and if they get rid of Edie, I'll be very mad!!!! She's my favorite cougar!!!
I'm not a Gabby fan, but it might be fun to see her character go so far off it's beaten path . . . w or w/out carlos--I mean, I know he's blind, and not nearly as much fun as he was, for instance, he would know the door, blind or not, but for some reason, he's not stripped once since the accident . . . it's not right!!!!
I sincerely hope that little Kayla is back as the teenage vixen we can root for, and the whole reason they advanced 5 years is coz of her (or did they find that botox is cancerous and they wanted a ready excuse for the sudden aging all around)
Lastly, I'd have hit the minister, mmmmm . . . . me likes some big Daddy pee-paw with cleft chins!
4 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:47 PM
I love your recaps! Can't wait for next season!!!
5 of 6 | Posted by Dreamstallion33 | Posted on May 30, 2008 4:24 PM
I am so confused about this whole flash forward thing.
Are they going to start the next season 5 years later? Seriously, what the hell?
If they do that, I'm gonna be PISSED. Or are they just giving us a taste of the future or something? Confusing.
This season honestly did nothing for me - it was pretty blah. And completely far-fetched. I mean, Housewives has never been known for its realistic storylines, but this one took the cake, for me.
A good recap for a "meh" season. Thanks Fozzie.
6 of 6 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 30, 2008 5:09 PM