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Edie decides to stop by Orson's sad bachelor pad to pour a little more salt in Bree's wounds. Orson is in the shower, still trying to get clean from kissing Edie a couple days ago so Edie waits in the living room. While she waits she finds a notepad complete with the entire story of Bree's daughter getting pregnant, Bree hiding her in a convent, and Orson and Bree pretending to be the babies actual parents. Before Orson can come out of the bathroom, dripping with rusty bachelor apartment water, Edie leaves bursting with fresh gossip.

Edie and Carlos decided to go to the police with the information about their roommate's illegal dealings since Carlos is still on probation. The police have been on to Ellie for quite some time but she is a small fish and they want to go after the drug czar so they can make the front page of the paper. Gaby and Carlos feel odd about the police's option for them to wear a wire and take part in an elaborate sting operation since those rarely go well based on The Wire, but when the police offer to erase Carlos' record in exchange for his services, the couple can't help but accept the offer.

Edie comes to Bree with her newfound information and gloats like a boastful tranny who just scored Barbara's wig collection. Bree pleads with Edie to not tell anyone since it would ruin her family's good standing in the community if the truth came out. Edie decides to leverage the information in exchange for Bree being her personal slave, or as Rose would call it, a "Weidenfreuden."

Down at the station the forensics lab rushes the results of Wayne's gum DNA test, putting the rapes and copious Wisteria Lane murders on hold. Wayne gets the report and sees that Dylan is indeed not his daughter, and that she has an insane amount of testosterone in her system.

Bree comes to Lynette's house for their weekly poker afternoon and decided to bite the bullet. She can't have Edie walking around with this much power because that combined with her freakish upper-body strength could be catastrophic. After Bree tells the entire sordid story to the ladies, they react the opposite of her expectations and applaud her strength and dedication to her kids, even the gay one. When Susan asks Bee what she is going to do about the proposed blackmailing by Edie, Lynette takes the reigns and says that they are all going to handle this together, like a coven of sorts.

While Edie lounges in her chez reading the latest copy of "Tucking It" weekly she looks out the window and sees the scariest site since the video of her penis mutila...gender reassignment: all four of Desperate Housewives finest striding down the street directly toward her. Edie comes to her front stoop before the rocks and pitchforks start flying through the windows and comes face to face with the ladies. They tell her that they are finished with her. They will no longer invite her to their brunches, or poker games, or key parties. They will no longer suffer her snide comments, or her betrayals and as a matter of fact will no longer acknowledge her existence just like Hollywood. The ladies turn to walk away and when Edie tries to plead for their forgiveness Bree pull a snotty high school trick and asks Lynette if she heard something.

Later that day Lynette is taking her evilest child shopping for new blood resistant frilly dresses. After they pay Kayla tells Lynette that she wants a corndog but Lynette has a healthy dinner of fish sticks planned and doesn't want Kayla to ruin her appetite. Kayla decides to throw a fit and warn Lynette that if Lynette doesn't do what she wants she will make Lynette's kids do more stupid stuff to hurt themselves even worse than simply jumping off the roof. Lynette takes umbrance at the threat and finally slaps Kayla across the face and drags her to the car.

While at Mother's Day lunch Adele is still taking pot shots at Susan, but in that calm and genteel way that Southern women do. Susan can't take any more of the offenses, so decides to do the most logical thing possible and dumps her soda on the floor and fakes labor so that Mike will rush her out of the restaurant. When Mike and Susan are alone, she tells Mike the truth and warns him that he has to talk to his mother about her insults or Susan will keep faking labor to get out of conversations.

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 10:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: blahblah on May 18, 2008 10:44 AM.