Desperate Housewives: Little White Lies

First off, sorry about the late recap but I've been in the hospital the last couple days with a nasty case of encephalitis. OK, that's a lie, but it's a lie that leads us into the recap. Mary Alice Ghostly tells us that this week's episode of Desperate Housewives is all about deception, which is a little like saying that this week's dawn is all about the sun rising. Gaby is lying to Victor, Mike is lying to Susan, Bree is lying to Orson, and Susan's just lying to herself by wearing clothes from Forever 21. Which of the lies will see the light of day, and which will just be covered up with more foundation?

Benjamin
He looks just like his "mother." Screaming, face all puckered and bright red.

Surprisingly, lying has always come as second nature to Victor, despite being a paid government official. He's been able to lie to his donors, to reporters, to his constituents, and to everyone who thinks he's a natural greyhead (shhhh, only his hairdresser knows for sure). He is also able to lie to his wife Gaby, if you believe a husband can do such a thing. After Edie revealed the pictures of Carlos and Gaby in coitus smoochus last week, Victor has continued to act as if nothing is wrong, even recommending that he and Gaby take that honeymoon she's been bitchin' about.

When Victor comes in the room to tell her about vacation plans he catches Gaby on the phone with Carlos, but luckily Gaby is a smooth operator and pretends she's talking to Bree. Gaby quickly hangs up and Victor sends her to retrieve the travel brochures in the other room. While Gaby is gone Victor looks at her phone and sees that the last person to call what Carlos. Everyone knows that if you're having an affair, you don't list the real name of the person with whom you're knocking the boots. You put their name in your phone as "mom" or "work" or "Bootsy Von Knockin."

Gaby.Telephone
Only Carlos and bill collectors call her?

Gaby returns with the brochures, thrilled at the trip they're going to take to Rio, the motherland. Before that trip Victor recommends a weekend getaway on his boat, just the two of them, all romantic-like the way Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner used to do. After the boat ride he'll take her to this little hot spot in California that Nicole Simpson used to adore before coming home to cozy up on the couch and watch his Baretta DVDs. Gaby is deeply stupid and thrilled that her husband owns a boat.

Later the crew is at Susan's house when Bree brings the beautiful, bouncing, screaming, shocking red bundle of joy by to show off. As the newest addition to the cast, Benjamin Tyson Hodge, continues to scream bloody freakin' murder, all of the ladies tell Bree how beautiful he is. Tom encourages Lynette to share her good news, but she doesn't want to steal the spotlight from the wailing banshee, until the ladies hear Tom needling her and deduce it. She tells them that she's hesitant to use the word cured, but she's cured. Yep nothing can stop her now. Nothing but smooth sailing from here on out. "Come and get me, God!"

While Lynette is telling the ladies about her prognosis, her mother toddles down the stairs with Sam the meat man in tow. Momma went out for cocktails and brought herself home a little treat. All the ladies stare in disbelief since none of them have been able to score while trolling the bar in years.

Stella,Guy

After everyone leaves, Mike tells Susan that he doesn't want to go to Bree's house for dinner later in the evening since he's tired, has a job first thing in the morning, and Bree's husband once tried to kill him. Susan won't let him worm his way out of it, since dinner parties and forced cordiality are what the suburbs are all about. Mike agrees and takes a couple pills to make the screaming in his head stop.

Mike.Mirror
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the least interesting character of them all?"

Desperate Housewives: Little White Lies Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7 

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Comments (7)

Donna Martin Graduates!:

Didn't you find it odd that KimberBree would use the contemporary slang term "big time"?

Funny recap.

Pls learn the distinction between compliment and complement.

Donna Martin Graduates!:

"play a quick game of William S. Burroughs with her..."

oooh -- nice reference!

shia0bundan:

Can Susan pleeeeeeeeeeeease die in this season's mystery? She gets worse every week. Seriously, Mike is on pain pills, not crack! And I found it so artificial that the show couldn't even cough up a drug name. Either way, Susan needs to just die already. Please, let Katherine do the honors.

georgiababe:

I'm pretty sure that the sisters were Lydia, Lucy and Lynette. I don't think there was a Cindy at all. Lydia was the one in the restaurant and Lucy is the one that Lynette hit up for money last season. Their all L's, perhaps that is why the Scavo kids (except for Kayla) have names that all start with P.

Ugh. I love this show, but I am sad because of the stupid writer's strike. I hope they come to an agreement soon - I always love the Christmas episodes.

fire@will:

Great (not GRATE)recap - I WOOD like to ETHER COMPLIMENT EWE or COMPLEMENT you, but I'm TWO darn LASIK two look it up and, anyways, these friggin spell checkers ought two NO the word I mean. Do you HERE me, Microsoft PEEPHOLE?

fire@will:

Also - I'm officiously doubling your celery, starting tuesday! (Sum buddy stop me!)

juddfan:

What does this mean that I see no typos . . . . How can I when I'm rapt in scathing detail and blissed with twisted references!!!!

I don't care what they say, Fozzie, you rock . . . what will we do now that there's no show to recap . . . . f'in hollywood! Harrrummmpphhh!

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