Her mom apologizes for bringing a man back to the house and promises that next time they'll just do it in the car like respectable gay guys. Lynette says there are already seven people in her house, and the little one can't keep sleeping in that milk crate forever, so it's time for her mom to get her own place. Mom tells Lynette that she would like to but she's completely broke after the $10,000 that she loaned Lynette and Tom. Lynette recommends that Stella move back in with her other daughter, Lucy, but Stella tells Lynette that she would like to but Lucy kicked her out.
Julie comes to her mom for some help. Susan starts to tell Julie that boys are just mean and she will grow into her forehead one day, but Julie tells her the information she actually needs is about Dylan's dad. Dylan and Julie were assigned a school project to research dark, mysterious, painful, deadly family secrets and Katherine won't share any information about the father that shall not be named. Susan confides in her daughter that Dylan's dad was a bad man, and not in the way Shaft was. She tells Julie what Katherine confessed at game night and asks Julie to convince Dylan not to research him as it would just be painful and would ruin the story arc for the season. Luckily Dylan was in the next room and overheard everything, but will probably forget it since that's how she rolls.
"How do you get your face to look all human like that?"
Bree uses her Guidebook to Illegal and Addictive Narcotics to match up the pill that Mike dropped in the kitchen. She invites Susan over for coffee and painful truth, telling Susan that Mike is exhibiting all the signs of an addict. He's withdrawn, quiet, staying out late, and neglecting his family. Susan says he's always done that and that's why she love/hates him. Bree reminds Susan that she can spot an addict since she once had a problem with the sauce and eBay, so Susan agrees to ask Mike about it.
Mike's so bland he's even taking generic drugs.
Mike comes home later and Susan confronts him about his addiction. He argues that two movies of Taiwanese transsexuals does not an addiction make, before Susan informs him she was talking about the pills. Mike downplays the "addiction," saying the pills he took were the last two that he happened to find in the medicine cabinet while searching for KY. Susan is relieved, confessing that she has been driving herself crazy thinking of Mike as an addict. True he would be more interesting, but not the same man she settled for.
Bree goes behind Orson's back to get Benjamin's front snipped. While at Wisteria Memorial, she is informed that Orson sent a registered letter to the hospital and all hospitals in 2 bordering states, Vermont and South Dakota, prohibiting them from performing a circumcision on his son. Bree comes home in a waspy snit demanding answers, but Orson only tells her that he knows her, knew she would circumvent his circumcision declaration, and is only thinking about the baby. Bree tells Orson that she finds uncut penises unsightly, which is why she never went past first base with a Puerto Rican. Orson appreciates a thick, fully engorged, throbbing, cut penis as much as Andrew, but not at the price of pain and reduced sexual pleasure. Bree uses the only weapon at her disposal and says that Orson's sexual pleasure will be reduced big time.
From the new thriller Not Without My Eyeliner
Katherine comes home to find Dylan sitting at her desk on stroke 743 of her daily 1,000 brushes. The laptop is open and Katherine sees that Dylan has been working on her genealogy project. Katherine slams the laptop shut, and says she'll call her teacher and get her a different assignment, like kicking a puppy or mocking the elderly. Dylan opens the laptop again and the two stare each other down as a tumbleweed blows between them. Dylan tells her mom that she heard that she called her dad a molester at game night. Katherine bats away the information and uses the standard, "When you're under my darkly mysterious roof," line, but Dylan tells her mom that she is no longer afraid of her and goes back to work researching her dear father on the Meagan's Law website.
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Comments (7)
Didn't you find it odd that KimberBree would use the contemporary slang term "big time"?
Funny recap.
Pls learn the distinction between compliment and complement.
1 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 16, 2007 10:17 PM
"play a quick game of William S. Burroughs with her..."
oooh -- nice reference!
2 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 16, 2007 10:21 PM
Can Susan pleeeeeeeeeeeease die in this season's mystery? She gets worse every week. Seriously, Mike is on pain pills, not crack! And I found it so artificial that the show couldn't even cough up a drug name. Either way, Susan needs to just die already. Please, let Katherine do the honors.
3 of 7 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 16, 2007 11:17 PM
I'm pretty sure that the sisters were Lydia, Lucy and Lynette. I don't think there was a Cindy at all. Lydia was the one in the restaurant and Lucy is the one that Lynette hit up for money last season. Their all L's, perhaps that is why the Scavo kids (except for Kayla) have names that all start with P.
Ugh. I love this show, but I am sad because of the stupid writer's strike. I hope they come to an agreement soon - I always love the Christmas episodes.
4 of 7 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on November 17, 2007 2:48 PM
Great (not GRATE)recap - I WOOD like to ETHER COMPLIMENT EWE or COMPLEMENT you, but I'm TWO darn LASIK two look it up and, anyways, these friggin spell checkers ought two NO the word I mean. Do you HERE me, Microsoft PEEPHOLE?
5 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 17, 2007 7:01 PM
Also - I'm officiously doubling your celery, starting tuesday! (Sum buddy stop me!)
6 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 17, 2007 7:02 PM
What does this mean that I see no typos . . . . How can I when I'm rapt in scathing detail and blissed with twisted references!!!!
I don't care what they say, Fozzie, you rock . . . what will we do now that there's no show to recap . . . . f'in hollywood! Harrrummmpphhh!
7 of 7 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 20, 2007 1:00 PM