Lynette tries to convince the sisters that one of them needs to take their mother because they all care about her, but as it turns out the other two sisters don't care about her at all. Lynette doesn't understand how they could simply not care about the woman that raised them and taught them the ancient art of mixology. Lynette's sisters offer her money to take care of their mother but Lynette declines it. She tells her sisters not to guest star for a couple years, and they realize that it's time for them to leave. One of Lynette's kids chews through his ropes and runs in the house to say that he just saw his grandma leaving in a cab.

Sisters
"Quick, we need a power of three rhyming couplet to get our mom back!"

Carlos and Gaby navigate their way into the ocean to find Victor floating, soggy and super pissed off. When Gaby and Carlos fish him out of the water he tells them that he wasn't trying to hurt Gaby and just wanted to be alone so they could talk. Victor tells Carlos that it was a mistake saving his life and Carlos taunts him before Victor goes all Jerry Springer and attacks Carlos. Victor knocks Carlos down and grabs the frighteningly large cheese knife and threatens to kill him, before Gaby once again grabs the oar and hits Victor in the head, knocking him overboard. Carlos stands up and says they should once again fish him out, but when they look overboard, Victor isn't there.

Victor.Fight
"Stop! You're both like 50!"

Back at the dock, Carlos and Gaby sit in silence pondering their next steps. Carlos recommends going back out to look for Victor again, but Gaby says it's pointless. He's fish food. Carlos says they should call the police but Gaby points out that there was no proof that Victor was trying to hurt them. Gaby is struck with a bolt of inspiration and mentions that Victor made a point not to tell anyone where he was going or that he and Gaby were going together. No one has to know they were on the boat together, and the official story could be that she told him that she was having an affair and he went out alone on his boat with a bottle of pills and some emo music. Carlos and Gaby turn on the boat's motor and stand on the dock as they watch it sail off into the night.

Gaby.Carlos
"Did you remember to grab my purse?" "Ay, Dios mio!"

Mike comes home to find Susan sitting on the stairs, holding his bag of pills, and glaring at him disapprovingly. "Do I make you so miserable that you can't face me without numbing the pain?" she asks. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to, Susan. Mike says he didn't tell her about the pills so she wouldn't feel guilty since she convinced him to put in a water heater for Miss McCluskey and that is when he wrenched his back. Since then all he has heard about were $10,000 preschools and college so he had to take the pills to be able to keep working. Mike asks Susan how she will feel when Simka is at Harvard and their baby is a plumber like his dad? Of course his argument is flawed since they don't know the sex of their baby yet and girls can't be plumbers, duh. Susan says all her baby needs is a healthy dad that's not an addict. Mike promises to quit and dumps the pills down the drain where they can never be retrieved to tear their family apart again, except by some kind of person who specializes in pipes and plumbing features. Susan hugs Mike and promises that she will be by his side through all the shaking, vomiting and cold chills just like every night that they have sex.

Mary Alice Ghostly recaps the myriad examples of duplicity that we've just seen. From Bree pretending to be anything but a Presbyterian, to Gaby and Carlos covering up the murder of an elected official. As Mary Alice drones on, we see Mike lying under the sink with his wrench to get back the only thing that will numb the pain from his miserable life. Sorry Susan, but it's true.

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Comments (7)

Donna Martin Graduates!:

Didn't you find it odd that KimberBree would use the contemporary slang term "big time"?

Funny recap.

Pls learn the distinction between compliment and complement.

Donna Martin Graduates!:

"play a quick game of William S. Burroughs with her..."

oooh -- nice reference!

shia0bundan:

Can Susan pleeeeeeeeeeeease die in this season's mystery? She gets worse every week. Seriously, Mike is on pain pills, not crack! And I found it so artificial that the show couldn't even cough up a drug name. Either way, Susan needs to just die already. Please, let Katherine do the honors.

georgiababe:

I'm pretty sure that the sisters were Lydia, Lucy and Lynette. I don't think there was a Cindy at all. Lydia was the one in the restaurant and Lucy is the one that Lynette hit up for money last season. Their all L's, perhaps that is why the Scavo kids (except for Kayla) have names that all start with P.

Ugh. I love this show, but I am sad because of the stupid writer's strike. I hope they come to an agreement soon - I always love the Christmas episodes.

fire@will:

Great (not GRATE)recap - I WOOD like to ETHER COMPLIMENT EWE or COMPLEMENT you, but I'm TWO darn LASIK two look it up and, anyways, these friggin spell checkers ought two NO the word I mean. Do you HERE me, Microsoft PEEPHOLE?

fire@will:

Also - I'm officiously doubling your celery, starting tuesday! (Sum buddy stop me!)

juddfan:

What does this mean that I see no typos . . . . How can I when I'm rapt in scathing detail and blissed with twisted references!!!!

I don't care what they say, Fozzie, you rock . . . what will we do now that there's no show to recap . . . . f'in hollywood! Harrrummmpphhh!

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