We start off in the prison yard, and it's a testament to this episode's enjoyability factor (scientific equation based on Breelocity multiplied by Lynnettativity), that this doesn't immediately annoy me. Mike Delfino? Snoresville. And yet here I am moderately captivated (or at least not irritated) by the exploits of inmates who have nothing to do with T-Bag, Fox River or Dr. Sara Tancredi (my imaginary girlfriend this season - things are going really great, thanks for asking). Mike gets jumped by some scary inmates, who are probably just sick and tired of his mediocrity, and not even his toothbrush schive can save him. You know what can? Paul Young. Luckily for Mike, Mr. Young is trying to get in good with him, so he comes to the rescue. Or does he? We next see Paul paying off the guys who jumped Mike, so it looks like Paul is setting one of his wacky schemes into motion, most likely involving some Acme explosives and a really fast bird.

Next up is Gabby, who comes home to find a somewhat unwelcome surprise waiting for her: a mannequin wearing a designer dress! I know what you're thinking, but no, this one does NOT come alive and fall in love with Andrew McCarthy. It's just her anonymous stalker's latest way of letting her know that he loves her. And can get to her any time, any place. Muhahahaha! Alright, that last one wasn't part of the dress message, but I'm reading in between the lines here. Gabby freaks out and heads over to Carlos', asking him to spend the night with her for protection... on the couch! Oh Gabby! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I really hope that the writers don't ruin this sweet dynamic the divorced Gabby and Carlos have achieved by getting them back together. How about something a little different?

Across the street, Tom is just getting home, while Lynette is waiting for him all primed for some restaurant talk and nookie. Tom is being kind of skimpy on the restaurant details, because he knows that once Lynette gets her clutches into his dream, she'll take over and he'll feel even less like a man. Wait. Wait. Wait. Tom's a man? Weird. Tom's banning of Lynette from the restaurant opening allows for the flattest double entendre of the season (excluding anything said on Two and a Half Men, of course): Tom: "So we're not having sex?" Lynette: "Well, you banned me from YOUR opening." Umnata: "Oh for the love of God..."