This episode of Desperate Housewives has a lot to offer mostly because of what it excludes. There is no Julie. There is no Austin. There is some Carlos and some Gabby, but there is no Carlos AND Gabby. There are Mike scenes, but one of them involve his arrest, so there is hope for the death penalty and to be rid of him forever. In other news, Ian and Susan's relationship hit the "drawer at my place" level and Lynette goes wacky over the overly friendly neighborhood Pedophile. Also, some new characters were introduced: Ian's persnickety, disapproving Butler, who is really, yes that's him, Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld, and Wisteria Lane's first Gaysian, Gabby's BFF Verne. Find out what else is new after the jump!
Susan and Ian ARE out on a date, with Susan in her FINEST high end call girl mini-black dress. Mary Alice, that wretched skank, is revealing that Susan's life, suddenly, is akin to a fairy tale, complete with dashing Prince Charming and eating disorder. This is all but confirmed, when Susan is whisked away to Ian's palatial mansion for one of the first times, and they make skinny love all night long. The spell is broken the next morning, however, when Ian's butler, Jeeves (that's not his real name, but it might as well be) walks in to discover Susan ready for a morning quickie. Jeeves is notably peeved, as it seems he was a big fan of Comatose Jane, Ian's current wife. It looks to me like there might be some charming antics coming our way soon between "I want you to like me!" Susan and "I'm disapproving and stuffy" Jeeves
Lynette is getting her McCrazy (damn you Patrick Dempsey, for making it impossible for using a Mc without feeling totally lame) on at the police station, answering several of the comments that were posted on last week's recap, such as whether it was a crime for Lynette to be in Art, the possible pedophile's house, without him being home. Lynette doesn't care about the minor breaking and entering laws she may have broken - her conjecture and speculation about Art is FARRRR more important! Unfortunately, without any proof and with Lynette looking like this, the police don't take her very seriously.
At Gabby's house, we make another startling discovery: Gabby has been hiding a Gaysian this whole entire time! This is absolutely shocking, since the Gaysian is the new accesory of 
choice, since the adopted African baby has gone out of style (Thank you Lloyd of Entourage for setting the precedent). I hate when TV shows introduce sidekicks for main characters, as if they've been around the entire time, ahem, Lost. Anyway, Gabby is trying on a new dress that her personal shopper/Gaysian Buddy, Verne, has brought over to her (She doesn't like it: "I look like something Ike Turner would hit."), when he drops the bombshell that he'll be starting his own Beauty Pageant Consulting Company. What does this, forming a cult that worships at the feet of Nicole Richie and being disappointed with the new OJ Book dealing going south have in common? They are all part of Satan's plan to rule the earth once again. Gabby is drafted into helping Verne on this little venture, as she is queen of all things shallow and pretty, and gladly accepts, because she likes when people confirm that she is both shallow and pretty.
Back at Ian's, Susan has just gotten out of the shower, wrapped herself in a hand towel, and decided that it's time that she should get a drawer in Ian's house. After all, she'll be spending a lot more time there, especially since Ian's shower head has nozzles that Ian, himself, doesn't. Ian says that this is just fine, but she'll have to let Jeeves find the drawer, as he is very particular about the way things are run in the mansion. Ian is worried about Susan and Jeeves being able to get a long, but Susan thinks that things will be fine. They don't exactly get off on the right foot as Susan bends over and gives Jeeves a flash of her cooter (R.I.P. EdHill). And he thinks she's crass! Nothing says class like SkeleHatcher ass crack.
It's dysfunctional family dinner time at the Hodge-Podge house. It seems that Grandma Sugarbaker has been running a mental muck on everyone, especially since she severely underestimated Bree's Type-A personality superpowers. Seriously, Bree should be spotlighted on Heroes. Save the Casserole. Save the World.
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Comments (11)
I missed the ep, so my only comment is that this line
"That is until Parker comes out calling for Mr. Protector Man (nice to blow his secret identity, dick)"
made me laugh out loud.
Oh, and Parker is a pedophile.
1 of 11 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 22, 2006 5:00 PM
hilarious as usual! "save the casserole, save the world"!!!!!
LOL
2 of 11 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:25 PM
"I would say big whoop, but I guess this is kind of like an American being mistaken for a Canadian. Shudder."
Excuse me, but exactly WHAT is that supposed to mean?
~Georgia~
3 of 11 | Posted by georgiababe
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:08 PM
....and by Parker, I mean Art.
Crap.
4 of 11 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:13 PM
Georgiababe, I think he means that just because someone looks the same and speaks the same language does not mean they are the same and different countries have vastly different cultures.
5 of 11 | Posted by Apple_Candy
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:33 PM
"Mary Alice that wretched skank"!? HAA! :)
Andrew rocks. I almost died when he said "my grandmother looked at me with tears in her eyes" .. He probably wouldn't be as funny with more air time though..
And Lynette and Susan's scenes this week were pretty painful to watch.. Gabby's were too predictable... I always like Bree's storylines but she didn't get much time this week... This episode felt a lot like season 2 soapyness .. :/
hope next week is better
6 of 11 | Posted by shia0bundan
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Posted on November 22, 2006 10:49 PM
I don't believe the Gaysian is new. I saw him back in seasons 1 and 2.
7 of 11 | Posted by mizta
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Posted on November 23, 2006 9:09 AM
Yeah, I got that. It's the "Shudder" remark that bugged me.
~Georgia~
8 of 11 | Posted by georgiababe
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Posted on November 23, 2006 12:58 PM
'In the words of Mike Myers: "It looks like an orange on a toothpick." Actually, more like an eggplant on a toothpick, but you get my general point.'
even whn you quote others, it's hilarious, thx u Umnata!
9 of 11 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on November 24, 2006 5:51 PM
Yeah, that personal shopper dude (AKA the rather repellent moniker "Gaysian") was definitely in Season 2.
Does anybody else think it's odd how KimberBree had put her M-I-L on a jailhouse diet, yet was carefully filling FOUR parfait glasses with cream? Oh wait -- I just realised it was *only* four and not five... Continuity rules!
10 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 28, 2006 3:19 PM
gotta love those Mrs. McCluskies (sarcasim)!! I have tons of them living around my city neighborhood and one right next to me. The mother(old hen, as I would call her) complains about the leaves in front of my house when in fact her hyprocritical self would sweep her leaves towards my basement tenants in front of me. In fact, unlike myself, she doesn't put them in garbage bags.....ahhhh!!! she's a Nazi there are other things she would do, like rifle through her other neighbor's mailings and bring them in her house...and maybe mines too 0.0 and other appalling deeds ok had to get that off my chest....hmmm maybe the reason I'm not into D.H. too much is because it reminds me of my Mrs. McClusky
11 of 11 | Posted by IrideBlimp
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Posted on November 30, 2006 11:56 PM