Desperate Housewives has really started to ramp up again. Sure, I am the first to admit that I have a full-on love/hate relationship with this show. But somehow, when it's firing on all cylinders, it's one of my favorite things on television. And it seems to me, that these last couple of weeks, things are starting to click. Maybe it's Marcia Cross' pregnancy or perhaps Nicolette Sheridan's last corrective surgery went exceedingly well. Perhaps even, Teri Hatcher has decided to eat something. Who knows what it is, but for this lowly recapper, I hope that it continues. That, of course, doesn't mean that I will stop the incessant mocking of this show. No, no! It means the mocking must continue, and never, never cease.
Bree does the first sensible thing since she invested in all those oversized housecoats (all the better to conceal your pregnancy with, my dear), and tells Orson about the bag of teeth she
found in Alma's house. I expected this little bon mot to be concealed for weeks and week to finally come up during May Sweeps, perhaps at an important dinner party hosted by the Hodges. It's all for naught however, since all Orson will admit to is finding these teeth "fishy." Yes, that's exactly how I would describe that bag of teeth I found in my ex-wives house: "fishy." Fishy is a bad piece of salmon. Bag of teeth hidden in a floorboard is at least "curious." Orson decides that he'll slip them back into Alma's house, lickity split, and no one will be the wiser. Then Bree can go to the police. This pleases Bree, although it's hard to tell because it's nearly impossible to focus on anything other than Marcia Cross' huge mommy knockers. Once Bree leaves, Orson calls his mother and informs her that he knows what she and Alma are up to. Orson, buddy, I saw the rest of this episode and believe me; you have no idea what they are up to.
It seems that Ian's comatose wife, Jane, has taken a turn for the worse, but Ian isn't really up to date on Jane's malady because he's been out romping with SkeleHatcher. Currently, as part of their little indecent proposal, Ian is introducing Mike to his new lawyer. Ian will let him take the case for one million dollars and a night with his wife. That's the deal. Wait, no. That's' not right. Anyway, Susan flips out because Ian's fancy lawyer might be high profile, but he doesn't believe Mike is innocent. This simply will not do.
Back at Susan's house, she and Ian get into a fight about finding the right lawyer for Mike. Ian flips his lid (or, since he's playing a Brit, I suspect he flipped his tea kettle), about Susan's obsession with Mike. SkeleHatcher can't believe this. She's told Ian millions of times that she loves him, what more can she do? Umm, I don't know, how about, not make Ian spend thousands of dollars finding a lawyer for Mike? Just a thought. Regardless, it becomes quite clear that we're supposed to believe that this lack of trust is more about Ian's issues than the fact that Susan has nicknamed her new vibrator, The Plumber.
At the Scavo's Lynette is trying to get ready for her first day back at work, while her slightly less evil, but doubly annoying son, is trying to convince her not to go back to work. Then Lynette does something pretty wacky, by telling Parker that he has learned his fine art of manipulation from his father. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tom Scavo is the master manipulator? Please, Lynette. You rule supreme from on High as the Queen of the land Manipulatoria.
Ahh it's the return of Gabby and her Gaysian, Verne. I know, I know, in this age of Isaiah 
Washington, a term like "gaysian" may not be appropriate, but I use it as an adjective (he's gay, he's an Asian - he's a gaysian! It's kind of like Brangelina, except, you know, gay), where Washington uses his word of choice as a pointed slur with which to smite the entire world's gay population. See the difference? No? Sorry. Anyway, they are at the Little Miss Soon To Be A Promiscuous Teenager With Self Esteem Issues Pageant where one of their mini-Gabbies has just one the whole shebang! Beaming with excitement Gabby runs into Zach Young, who apparently paid off the judges to have Gabby's girl take it all. Gabby, somewhat unintentionally amusingly, pretends to be above such underhandedness.
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Comments (9)
All I want is for Zach to cut his hair. That's all.
1 of 9 | Posted by katybee
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Posted on January 24, 2007 3:09 PM
Great recap :)
Fun episode, but I hope the Lynette/Tom pizza pairing doesn't end up in the same vein as their corporate working experience. I also look foward to some Andrew/Lynette scuffles!!!
Zach and Gabby storyline is okay, but I agree, writing Gabby into Zach's sympathetic friend does not fit with her character at all.
2 of 9 | Posted by shia0bundan
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Posted on January 24, 2007 5:25 PM
fabulous, now i can't that PM Dawn song outta my head!! even worse, it is meshing w/ bits of Gone Daddy Gone.
no matter, great recap, altho I'm still not crazy about Alma. oh & yes, you can call Kayla that word! little shit.
3 of 9 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on January 26, 2007 2:29 PM
haha -- "The power of the greyskull!" -- I don't understand why, but that was completely hilarious.
hey, you weren't the only one wondering if Andrew was scoping out porn, but then again the computer is in the middle of the family room...
Didn't you love the way the TV blocked Kimberbree's tummy? I like the way they are being creative in obscuring her pregnancy, but also there are plenty of shots of her newly-ample décolletage.
I thought it was a strong episode, though no sign of Julie's misery. (Maybe she went into rehab?)
Why didn't we see the scene where Lynette quits her job? Also how will anyone find out what that little shit that Kayla did? Or are there more diabolical machinations ahead?
4 of 9 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on January 27, 2007 2:55 PM
"Regardless, it becomes quite clear that we're supposed to believe that this lack of trust is more about Ian's issues than the fact that Susan has nicknamed her new vibrator, The Plumber"
Hilarious line in a super wonderfully hilarious recap.
And I'm with katybee in hoping that Zach gets a haircut soon. Didn't think that kid could look weirder and he proved me wrong.
5 of 9 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on January 28, 2007 12:28 AM
Hilarious recap! I too loved the "power of greyskull" reference, and the PM Dawn song is gonna be stuck in my head all day!
OK, I hate Zach's hair. It looks so bad, it is distracting.
I thought the same exact thing about the rape of Orson...it was EXACTLY what Sheila did to Tommy on Rescue Me! Wow, how original!
Why on earth would Ian send his g/f Skelehatcher to be with his dying WIFE? Weird....I hate this storyline. And no mention of Julie's pain? Maybe she's busy plotting Austin's (is that his name?) death.
Can't wait to see what happens this week! Hopefully Lynette will kick Kayla's little ass!! LOL!
6 of 9 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on January 28, 2007 11:02 AM
Great recap!
Zach's hair length doesnt bother me as much as the color. I dont think that color can be found even in yarn.
And I wish that Mike had been the one to die rather than Jane.
7 of 9 | Posted by USNRNPage
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Posted on January 28, 2007 4:35 PM
I must add that I actually heard "Cold-Hearted Snake" today on the radio. I haven't heard that song forever, then it gets mentioned here and I hear it. Weird!
8 of 9 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on January 29, 2007 12:20 PM
- Hmm, is it okay to call a 10 year old girl the C-Word? --> --> --> Perfectly acceptable to call THIS one
- Is it wrong that my first instinct was to think that Andrew was checking out porn? --> --> --> Of COURSE he was looking at porn! He's a 17 year old boy!
9 of 9 | Posted by Lestat1966
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Posted on February 2, 2007 3:57 PM