Susan, now late for dinner with Ian's parents, rushes home with some Fried Chicken. As far as first impressions go... Ian is rightfully pisst off that Susan missed dinner, even though his parents were unable to make it anyway. Susan thinks she's off the hook, but Ian is angry that she would rather snoop around to help Mike than fulfill her promise to cook dinner for his parents. I got to say, I side with Ian on this one, especially after Susan's half-hearted apology (she was more interested in letting Ian know that Orson used to be in the Nuthouse - which proves, what exactly?). When Ian doesn't immediately leap for joy that Susan is sorry, she bitchily says: "I already said I was sorry." Yeah, but was that enough? As the groundwork for an inevitable break-up continues to be laid, Ian says that he will get Mike the best lawyer in town, if Susan promises to stay away from Mike. This is meant to make us dislike Ian, which it succeeds in, but I suddenly realize that a) this is a huge about-face for Ian, who is such a likable character and b) I don't care. The second that Ian forbids Susan from seeing Mike, the writing is on the wall for the end of this couple. Sadly, Ian can't see any writing; not the writing on the wall, nor the writing on Dougray Scott's contract. I say 3 more episodes max. Susan, readily agrees to stay away from Mike (unlikely since he lives across the street and we're meant to believe that both of these stick figures are meant to be), in exchange for Mike's freedom. So is this technically blackmail? Or is Susan just a prostitute (exchanging sex for services). I wonder...
The protest in front of Art's house turns into a full-on riot, and Lynette is feeling some major guilt about this. I don't know if it's because she no longer believes her accusations of Art or what, but she tries to implore the crowd to leave her new neighbors alone. Man, the Young house ain't got nothing on the Amityville Horror, huh? Soon, an ambulance pulls up and Tiny Timette is wheeled away. Apparently, the disease she has, really gets exacerbated when a mob of people are trying to lynch her brother. She gets taken to the hospital as Art is being pelted with rocks. Lynette manages to make it to Art in time to apologize.
At Bree's house (how are none of the other ladies - two of whom have kids - involved in this Wisteria Lane pedophile mumbo jumbo?), Orson and Bree have come back together to make a Voltron-like super-Republican couple, and elect to kick Grandma Sugarbaker to the curb. Of course there are more threats of exposed secrets, but this time Orson informs his mother, that he will come clean with her secrets if she decides to divulge his.
Lynette finds out that Tiny Timette died after being taken to the hospital, so she goes over to Art's house to pay her condolences. She even brings a copy of The Little Rascals and a Michael Jackson CD to, you know, cheer him up. Art isn't very receptive to Lynette's apology at first, but then ends up thanking her. And here is where things take a turn for the uber-creepy. Art thanks her for freeing him of his meddling sister. You see, he always had "urges" but never acted on them, since he knew what it would do to his sister. Now that she's gone, he doesn't have to behave himself anymore. He's very vague about the whole thing, but it's clear what he's talking about. It's one of the best scenes of the entire season. When Art tells Lynette that unleashing him is all thanks to her and to "take care of her beautiful family," it's truly chilling. In trying to protect everyone, she actually let this monster loose, and now he's going to be out there, God knows where, doing God knows what to God knows who. Way to go, Lynette. Sleep tight.
After getting a mysterious phone call, Grandma Sugarbaker heads outside to meet someone in a car. It's a very alive, very together and very pisst off Alma, wanting to know EVERYTHING about her husband's new family.
So that's it for 2006. The show doesn't come back until January - so that's plenty of time to think about Alma, Monique and what the hell ever happened to The Babe's daughter, Kayla. See you in the New Year.
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Comments (25)
Niiiiiice Saved By the Bell reference. I miss The Babe.
1 of 25 | Posted by criscogirl
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Posted on December 1, 2006 4:40 PM
I'm curious to see what Monique looked like. And maybe Art was just messing with Lynette's mind? But I doubt it for some reason..
2 of 25 | Posted by LagunaBeached
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Posted on December 1, 2006 5:18 PM
Umnata, while I appreciate the effort to make a SBTB reference, you messed up somewhat.
When Slater and company were working at the Malibu Sands, Albert Clifford did not have a girlfriend. However, he did save a girl named Cynthia (played by Denise Richards), who asked him to the club's dance at the end of the summer.
AC met up with Christina the princess when he and the gang were in Palm Springs for Jessie's father's wedding.
As for Desperate Housewives, I still thought it was kinda lame to make Lynette doubt her initial suspicions about Art. C'mon, any guy with pictures of shirtless boys is a pedophile. No exceptions.
Anyone else think Grandma Sugarbaker and Alma killed Monique and pinned it on Mike? That's my theory, at least.
3 of 25 | Posted by WhosYourPapi
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Posted on December 1, 2006 5:50 PM
KimberBree is a Stepford wife. Of course her brow never budges!
"Susan's food KILLS!" hahaha!
I am reluctantly beginning to agree with your assessment of Gabby's dastardly character (tho her acting chops are still tops in my book). Complete absence of moral compass indeed.
Papi -- that's a good theory that hadn't even occurred to me. Well, I wasn't speculating about it, either.
U, your recap was funny enough to gloss over the multitudinous typos. Thanks heaps for the larfs!
4 of 25 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on December 1, 2006 5:59 PM
Yeah I thought they killed Monique too.
5 of 25 | Posted by LagunaBeached
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Posted on December 1, 2006 6:01 PM
That last scene with Art truly was terrifying. I was actually pressing back into my couch because I wanted to get away from him so badly. It was an awesome scene.
And a very hilarious recap! Had me giggling the whole way through!
6 of 25 | Posted by The Red Bean
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Posted on December 1, 2006 6:58 PM
I agree with the whole Alma/Grandma killed Monique story, but I have a couple of questions about it:
1) How do they know Mike? If Bree didn't know about Carolyn Bigsby or Alma's disappearance, how would they know who Mike is? Unless, of course, he has ties from a long time ago.
2) Why wouldn't they pin it on Orson? Isn't that logical, since he cheated on Alma and his mother seems to hate him?
3) I forget, but where does Mike know Monique from? I don't remember whether they'd explained it yet or not.
I guess those questions will probably be answered in the episodes to come, but I think that they need to be answered, if we are to believe that Alma/Grandma killed Monique.
Nice recap, by the way!
~Georgia~
7 of 25 | Posted by georgiababe
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Posted on December 1, 2006 10:24 PM
Great Recap!
I wish you would have mentioned the obviously Photoshopped photo of Granny Sugarbaker and Orson that Susan found. I understand they have to use Photoshop but couldn't that have found a picture of Dixie Carter that wasn't quite so obviously a publicity still from "Designing Women?" I mean they might as well have put Kyle McLachlin's head on Delta Burke's body.
8 of 25 | Posted by fozziebare13
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Posted on December 2, 2006 8:58 AM
Great Recap!
I wish you would have mentioned the obviously Photoshopped photo of Granny Sugarbaker and Orson that Susan found. I understand they have to use Photoshop but couldn't that have found a picture of Dixie Carter that wasn't quite so obviously a publicity still from "Designing Women?" I mean they might as well have put Kyle McLachlin's head on Delta Burke's body.
9 of 25 | Posted by fozziebare13
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Posted on December 2, 2006 8:59 AM
You're right Umnata, Gabi's character is just thoroughly unlikeable... I can't really bring myself to care when good/bad things happen to her.
Anyways.. I don't really side with Lynette... she might have ended up right about Art, but the ends don't justify the means. She went about it in the typical annoying stay-at-home mom type of way...basically blurting out suspicions to all the other dumbass fat moms.. you'd think someone who works in corporate advertising would have knowledge of tact.
10 of 25 | Posted by shia0bundan
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Posted on December 2, 2006 11:19 AM
^ Right!!
11 of 25 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on December 2, 2006 12:16 PM
The Art character could just be faking his 'urges' in order to extract revenge on Lynette.
There's two options: make the accuser feel bad because of pity, or make them feel bad because of dread.
12 of 25 | Posted by zoopy
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Posted on December 2, 2006 12:30 PM
As this episode went along, I started to think to myself "Gee, maybe Umnata is right and I'm wrong about Art being a pedophile."
Then Art confesses to being a pedophile, and I was happy to be right, then immediately felt bad that I had just spent the better part of an hour hoping that someone (even a fictional character) would turn out to be a pedophile. Another withdrawl from the karma bank.
(But I was right)
I also noticed the photo from Designing Women. I think it might even be from the opening credits. I couldn't decide if the producers just did it for a laugh, or if they told an intern young enough to not remember the show to mock up a photo, so they grabbed what they though was a random photo from the internet.
13 of 25 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on December 3, 2006 6:14 PM
great recap i am still giggling.
i read in ew that marc cherry's first job in la was working as dixie carter's assistant, so i think the obvious photoshopped pic is an homage to the good old days.
grandma sugarbaker being in cahoots with alma is kind of a retarded turn of events. very season two. and they were doing so great!
damn i miss aunt jackie and the babe!
14 of 25 | Posted by quince
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Posted on December 3, 2006 8:54 PM
great recap i am still giggling.
i read in ew that marc cherry's first job in la was working as dixie carter's assistant, so i think the obvious photoshopped pic is an homage to the good old days.
grandma sugarbaker being in cahoots with alma is kind of a retarded turn of events. very season two. and they were doing so great!
damn i miss aunt jackie and the babe!
15 of 25 | Posted by quince
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Posted on December 3, 2006 8:56 PM
and in the saved by the bell reference, the princess called ac a real american cheesecake. not beefcake.
16 of 25 | Posted by sweetjane
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Posted on December 4, 2006 6:54 AM
i am NEVER quoting (or misquoting) Saved By The Bell again! and it seemed like such a good idea at time..
17 of 25 | Posted by umnata
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Posted on December 4, 2006 8:22 AM
Umnata, a Saved by the Bell reference is always hilarious. Your recaps are great, keep up the good work!
18 of 25 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on December 5, 2006 7:45 AM
Why does the name "Sugarbaker" sound SOOOO familiar?
19 of 25 | Posted by twnpeeks
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Posted on December 5, 2006 10:38 AM
That was Dixie Carter's character's business in Designing Women...
20 of 25 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on December 8, 2006 10:55 AM
All right, what's going on with TypeKey? It never knows whether I'm signed on or not...I also hate that you've removed the "All Pages" choice.
After several weeks of cogent, sequentially correct episodes, it appears that DH has slid back to last season when no one knew just WTF was going on. The plots are getting mixed up, hazy and awfully confusing. We need a whiz-bang episode where Gabby tries to muscle in on Bree's Orson and then either Orson or Bree kills her, automatically creating goodwill among fans by eliminating Eva and causing the breakup of what has to be the dumbest marriage on TV. Susan and Mike would actually win that if they were married, though.
The Art part (hey, I like the sound of that)was chilling. It truly shocked me and I liked it because on the one hand it made Lynette react and it exposed Art's real persona.
In all, I was giving this season a B- for entertainment value, but this E episode has brought the average down.
21 of 25 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on December 11, 2006 10:40 AM
Yes, I agree that Art is not necessarily a pedophile - I think that he just said the perfect thing to hit Lynette where she lives and make her hurt as much as he did - she did, after all help kill his sister. Now Lynette feels hideous.
I am also sure that the photo of Julia Sugarbaker, as opposed to "orson's mother" was an homage from Marc Cherry's old days
22 of 25 | Posted by Lestat1966
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Posted on December 24, 2006 8:48 PM
Yo Umnata, are you still writing these blogs? PLEASE keep writing them! I need my fix! I just reread this one and laughed my ass off.
23 of 25 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on January 13, 2007 1:09 AM
^^^^yea, what Flipit said! I forget there was a new eppy last week so I only caught the last 10 mins. or so. Been checking daily for your recaps, miss them... :-*(
24 of 25 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on January 13, 2007 8:11 PM
Hey All -
Last week's recap is all set to go, I'm just waiting for B-Side to have some time to post it. I'll have this week's up by mid-week.
25 of 25 | Posted by umnata
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Posted on January 14, 2007 3:16 PM