Upon getting home, Lynette notices new hero on the block Art in his yard across the street and rushes over to thank him. She gets a little choked up, and promises to bake the guy a cake. The scene is played rather well, as there is a touch of many different things, that the wonderful Felicity Huffman touches on in the scene, most notably, obviously, gratitude.
At the Hodge house, Andrew and Bree are stuffing the Christmas family newsletter together. I imagine it reads something like this:
Now I understand, and fully enjoy, the fact that Andrew is no longer an evil genius, but stuffing Christmas family newsletter with his mother? Come on...
Anyway, Bree needs Orson's mother's nursing home's address. Orson gets all Shady Von Shadenstein on this point, wrapping himself in lies deeper and deeper. Dr. Giggles, you can do better than this. It is revealed that Orson's mother is something of a monster who lives in nursing home not miles and miles away, but simply in the next town. Bree thinks this is totally awesome, but Orson gets his scary on, when he yells at Bree telling her that she is not to invite his mother to the house. She may however, send her the newsletter. Orson, boobie, don't you realize that giving your meddling wife your mother's address all but guarantees you that she will, in fact, bring your potentially evil mother to the house for tea and crumpets? On a related note, Bree doesn't even blink at the fact that Orson has leveled yet another lie on her. In Bree's defense, it may be because Marcia Cross has lost the ability to blink. WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THAT!?!?!
Across the street (I say that somewhat in passing, as in three years I have no real clue as to where these women live, geographically speaking, on Wisteria Lane), Susan and Ian are returning early from their date. Susan is concerned about Julie since she was just in a life threatening hostage crisis. If only Cindy Walsh had been so concerned with Brenda after her stick-up at The Peach Pit maybe she wouldn't have run off to Paris - indefinitely.
What Susan and Ian find in the house is not so much a post-traumatic stress afflicted Julie as a horned up sex-pot. Yes, that's right, Julia and Austin are finally getting their swerve on! Sure, they may be the teenagers with the worst reflexes ever - Susan and Ian fumble for the lights 
and chat up a storm for a few moments in the living room, before Julia and Austin realize they have Parents in the Mist - but they are tots in love!
Susan doesn't handle this well, because, after all, Austin is a Bad Boy. Didn't you know? Well in case you didn't, it's all be assured, when Susan tells him to get his shirt and go and he answers: "I didn't bring one." Okay, that was funny. Austin is kicked out of the house, and Julie and Susan get into a pretty entertaining brawl. Julie makes some good points by saying she can date whom she wants, and that Austin may have saved her life in the Grocery Store (although he couldn't even wrestle Aunt Jackie with much success). But Susan steals the scene with this hilarious, yet completely irrational rant after she tells Julie that she is going to be home schooled so that she is kept away from Austin: "Yes, and you will be poorly educated and you won't get into college and you will work for minimum wage for the rest of your life, all because of that boy. I hope you're happy." Well-played Susan. Well-played indeed! And just to reiterate my thoughts of the last few weeks, and to solidify my 180 degree turn on Julie Mayer, when you can't hold your own opposite Teri Hatcher, a talented woman, no doubt, but no Helen Hayes, the First Lady of the American Stage, it's time to retire from the acting game.
Remember a few weeks ago when I snored through some Carlos and Gabby scenes, well this week it's Mike and Edie. Who cares? The only relevant aspect of this scene is the fact that upon Mike's arrival home, Edie has redecorated with naughty pictures of herself everywhere. Oh Edie! When Mike gets his memory back you are going to be in so much trouble!
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Comments (17)
Yes, Art is a pedophile. Maybe he'll go with the Pete Townshend "I was doing research" explanation.
Grandma Sugarbaker rocks. That kitchen scene between Orson and her had all the creepiness that made the first season work.
1 of 17 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 15, 2006 3:51 PM
I don't know about Art being a pedophile, however I think Lynette's reaction was a little odd. She should have gone straight to the police instead of straight home, but that wouldn't make for very good drama.
Excellent recap, Umnata.
2 of 17 | Posted by Clair
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:50 PM
Hmm I never thought about Art not being a pedophile. I guess it would be an interesting twist if the pictures were for something non-disturbing.
Oh, and I thought it would be worth mentioning that I never watched DH until I read a recap on TVgasm out of boredom and decided these recaps are too funny and it might help if I knew what was going on. So thanks for adding yet another show to my ever-increasing TiVo lineup.
3 of 17 | Posted by UglyAllie
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:52 PM
Great recap!
I was also irked when Lynette made the "wherever" comment (she did it twice too!) .. just didn't seem realistic.
And even though Asslee Simpson's ex boyfriend is a fun character... the pairing with Julie is too contrived. Its hard to watch.
Loved seeing Karl back. He was a great character... Get him back together with Edie and get rid of bland Mike!
4 of 17 | Posted by shia0bundan
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Posted on November 15, 2006 5:39 PM
I think they mentioned that he was a swim coach or something along those lines. That was a great twist at the end; something I didn't expect. But I agree with brilliantmisttake, I doubt that this is a red herring, it's probably the real thing. And I'm glad I'm no the the only one noticing Ms. McClusky's womanly curves.
5 of 17 | Posted by Captain
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Posted on November 15, 2006 5:53 PM
umnata- the phrase that the kiddies are using is "dunzo." as in, skelehatcher wants the relationship to be dunzo. ok- so that refers to 2 relationships. but you get the idea....
6 of 17 | Posted by sweetjane
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Posted on November 16, 2006 8:11 AM
Great recap. I'm starting to like Andrew better and better each week. He's better at the snarky mama's boy than the angsty teen rebel. Can't wait to find out what's up with Orson and his mom...
Also, here's an interview with your girlfriend! She talks about her character on the West Wing too...
http://www.mediavillage.com/jmentr/2006/11/15/jmer-housewives-11-15-06/
7 of 17 | Posted by Lisa
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Posted on November 16, 2006 8:17 AM
Finding out Art was a pedophile was seriously disturbing. And who wouldn't call the police? Is she just going to continue to let this man interact with her children? We know she's not the best mom, but geez. Lynette also needs to bo back to wearing the clip in her hair. The hair down is not working for her.
8 of 17 | Posted by Victoria
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Posted on November 16, 2006 12:43 PM
im telling you guys - i really dont feel like Art is a pedophile - i think it's all going to end up being a major misunderstanding. i HOPE he is a pedophile (is that weird to say?) bc i think it'll be great TV - lynette vs. the perv. it would be really great. i just have a nagging feeling that it's not what it seems. although i do agree with all of you that i cant believe lynette would go straight to the cops...
9 of 17 | Posted by umnata
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Posted on November 16, 2006 1:25 PM
I think the reason Lynette didn't go to the police, is the fact that she was in his house uninvited. It doesn't matter if he had the door unlocked or not.
I'm thinking he's not a pedophile. At first I did, but now that I see the picture of the kids, it appears that they are at the pool, and if he was a swim coach...I don't know I guess we will see.
Also the "P" on Art's shirt is not a Purdue P. They could've at least used a real Purdue t-shirt.
10 of 17 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on November 16, 2006 2:08 PM
Is desperate housewives going to have to call up ice-t and the crew over at svu?! Do I smell crossover episode?!?!
11 of 17 | Posted by ckitten
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Posted on November 16, 2006 2:35 PM
No love for the Christmas letter? Hilarious!
I can see Lynette's hesitation with Art somewhat believeable. I mean...the man DID save her life just a few days ago...I could see it being a difficult decision to make... Man saves your life, and you ruin his. Besides, it's just hesitation, she may act on it soon. You could see her deep in thought in the last scene, so it's on her mind.
I hope they keep Carl for a few more episodes, he's always been such an interesting and animated character.
Eager to see the next episode, and the next recap!
12 of 17 | Posted by The Red Bean
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Posted on November 16, 2006 5:43 PM
heh, I go to Purdue, and that made my night.
Also as mentioned, that was NOT a real Purdue P, but do you really think the producers would actually ask to use a real one?
13 of 17 | Posted by joshman5k
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Posted on November 16, 2006 7:09 PM
Has anyone mentioned the fact that Art is Fisher, Aunt Jackie's abusive boyfriend & real life baby-daddy? This is the first I've seen him since Roseanne.
Great recap. On the pedophile-thing: very possible he is one. First, he works as a boy's swim coach, ped's will find a way to be around kids. Second, his toy room in the basement, & third having the pictures on the wall. BUT-all the pictures look like they were at the pool & no one was naked. We haven't met is invalid sister yet-could be a piece to the puzzle.
BTW-I HATE Edie's nephew. Bad acting, bad writing, bad hair...why oh why couldn't he have taken the bullet for Nora??
14 of 17 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on November 17, 2006 10:51 AM
I also hope that the neighbor isn't a pedo. Although I think it would make good TV, I feel sorry for this actor. First he was best known as the jerkass that beat up Aunt Jackie and now he'll always be known as a child molester.
15 of 17 | Posted by fozziebare13
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Posted on November 17, 2006 8:13 PM
Whoa! Thanks for the shout-out, Umnata! Yes, I did dig The Babe. (Sadly, I do not share your lustful fascination for the old snoopy dame McClusky.)
At the risk of sounding obsequious, your DH recaps are getting better and better. I had many a snigger and snort as I read your witty snark.
BTW -- brilliantmistake (#1) -- I totally bought Pete Townshend's explanation -- am I being naïve?
dmbislove (#10) -- re not using the real 'P' - is it possible the producers just wanted to avoid a licensing issue? Especially if it later becomes 'P is for Pedophile'?!
16 of 17 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 21, 2006 3:45 PM
I would like to know the poem that they said on the last show on Jan.6 When they spread the ashes on the field. Thank you,Jeri Boston
17 of 17 | Posted by Jeri Boston | Posted on January 9, 2008 6:13 PM