Testimonials

Bree gives in, proceeds to Katherine's house, and offers up her recipe for her world famous mince meat pie in exchange for Katherine's lemon meringue recipe. Katherine takes Bree's offering but says that she doesn't share her secret, family recipes. Bree says that it's not fair since she just shared a secret recipe and then Katherine has the audacity to suggest that Bree got her recipe from a Betty Crocker cookbook. At this point Bree whips out a throwing star from her bra and impales Katherine's skull. Back in reality, Bree actually loses her waspy cool and asks Katherine why she is so determined to get off on the wrong foot. Katherine didn't appreciate Bree assigning dishes for the lunch that Katherine recommended. "It's tradition," Bree replies. "I always organize the lunches." Katherine replies, "Well how lovely I'm back and can shoulder that burden for you." Katherine does give Bree one word of advice and says that to surpass Katherine's pie recipe she just needs to find the perfect blend of sweet and sour. Bree says, "You've certainly mastered that, dear." Remember the scene with Uma Thurman and Vivica A. Fox in Kill Bill? I wanna see that with these two.

Ya see when a problem comes along, Bree knows what she must do.

Since Susan's chest has filled out a little bit due to the pregnancy, she is planning an evening of skinny, boring, nerdy sex with Mike. To do this she has to get Julie out of the house because, well because Mike's a screamer, so Susan secretly lets Julie go to the party as long as she doesn't tell Mike. Later that night Susan strides into the bedroom wearing her new revealing lingerie, daringly cut above the ankle. Before they can begin their elbowy, pasty, quiet-sex Mike mentions that he drove by the party earlier in the evening and saw how raucous it was and predicts that the police will be called any minute.

Susan remembers she has a daughter and unconvincingly lies to Mike saying that they can't have sex without whipped cream so she's going to run to the store. Mike believes her and chalks it up to pregnancy cravings as she frantically runs out. Susan rushes to the party to save her daughter from the clutches of horny teenage boys, and barges in with her baby boobs knocking over kids left and right. The birthday boy can't believe that his friends actually got him a stripper, but can't understand why the stripper looks like a Wal-Mart greeter. Susan stumbles away from the horny boy (something I would never do, but to each their own I suppose), and finds Julie sipping orange soda and behaving herself. Susan has never remained rational in her life so she continues this streak and drags Julie and Dylan home.

"Oh my God, Mom. Your face is scary this close up."

When mother and daughter get home they share a heartwarming moment when Susan confesses that she's having a difficult time balancing her new boring husband and her old lame daughter. Julie is of course the level headed one and says that she knows that her mom loves her and she just needs to be honest, make decisions and stick to them. No more flip-flopping. Binge, purge. Binge, purge. Pick one and stick with it, Mom! They enter the house and the jig is up since Mike got a call from someone asking why Julie left the party early with a sexy stripper. Mike, it's pronounced, sexagenarian stripper.

When did Janice Dickinson join this cast?

Meanwhile Carlos and Edie are celebrating her birthday alone with a sad little cake. Carlos gave Edie carte blanche to purchase her own birthday gift, within reason, and she chooses to surprise him with the gift in an envelope. Carlos opens it to find a card with the word "yes" written in tranny script. Edie gets down on one knee and Carlos gladly begins to unzip. He quickly realizes that Edie is blowing, she's proposing. Edie warns Carlos that angry, disappointed people talk and the IRS may find out about his shady dealings. Poor, selfless Edie is making this sacrifice only to save Carlos when the time comes that she is asked to testify against him. Carlos begrudgingly agrees and begins making plans to move to Vermont where their love that dare not speak its name will be recognized.

Edie's dream wedding gown.

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 14, 2007 07:45 AM.