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Meanwhile across the street, Lynette is chatting with Miss McCluskey to make sure she has everything she will need to ride out the storm. Big M assures her that she has an ample supply of D batteries, gin, and live chickens that will eat grapes out of anywhere she puts them. Anywhere. After the initial pleasantries Lynette drops the bomb as to the real reason she is there. She would like to camp out in Miss McCluskey's basement with her husband and 13 screaming kids until the storm passes. Lynette assures Miss McCluskey that her family, which the Big M has grown to know and love will all be on their best behavior and keep the fires and village of the damned act down to a minimum. Miss McClucskey tells Lynette that she may know all of them but actually only loves four before saying no way in hell. Ida Greenberg is coming over to play cards and swap stories about how many GIs of the greatest generation lost their virginity to each of them. Miss McCluskey tries to send Lynette and the brood down to the shelter but Lynette doesn't want her kids exposed to the dregs of society down on skid row, such as Andrew. Lynette pleads with Big M until she finally gives in and allows Lynette and her family to crash in the basement to ride out the storm. She's insured and someone has to finish making her knock-off Gucci wallets.

Doesn't she atleast have Britney stubble that she could dress up with a cute little bow? I am so sick of this endless parade of scarves.

Next door Katherine is busy taping up the windows in an attempt to call that black informant guy from the X-Files. Julie and Dylan are safely away on a school trip, so Katherine and Adam plan to hunker down in the basement and glare at each other disapprovingly until the storm passes. While at the window, Katherine notices the Tina Fey look-alike/woman who ruined her life standing across the street. Katherine has never backed down from a confrontation, other than with whoever did that to her hair, so she goes outside and walks up to the woman to tell her to leave. The woman tells her that she wants to talk to Adam and compliments Katherine's hair, further proving she's stark raving insane. Katherine tells Tina Fey that Adam wants nothing to do with her, but is shocked when Crazy drops the bomb that Adam saw her yesterday.

Back at Susan's house Bree is dropping off much needed storm-watch paraphernalia such as Vaseline, eyeliner and Mad-Libs. Before Bree leaves, Susan tells her that it may be a good idea to go ahead and tell Orson about Mike's addiction to the junk. Bree confesses that she already told Orson accidentally by screaming it out when they were making love a couple weeks ago. Bree feared that Mike would go to Orson for pills and Orson would unwittingly prescribe them, which he did and which he did!

"Damn, Andrew sure liked 'em big and black, didn't he? Anyway, thanks for the olives!"

Meanwhile, the battle of the she-beasts is just heating up as Katherine continues to chat with Crazy. Crazy continues talking about how she and Adam slept together, and how he yelled out in the middle how he regrets marrying such a cold, hard bitch. Katherine takes offense at being called anything less than room temperature and turns into one of those dilophosaurs from Jurassic Park. Her collar unfurls and she spits viscous black goo in Crazy's face. Bree is always in the wrong place at the right time and witnesses the expectoration. After Crazy drives off, Bree asks Katherine if she is O.K. and Katherine responds like a cold, hard, bitch before walking off. Bree notices Crazy parked down the street so decides to wheel baby Benjamin over for his first taste of suburban gossip. The kids gotta learn sooner or later. Bree walks to the car and asks the woman if she's O.K. and Crazy says no so Bree politely invites her inside for tea and interrogation.

"Just call me China Bitch."

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: lbonnerz on Dec 22, 2007 01:18 PM.