Back at the Vandekamp house Orson rushes in and fights to close the door. He insists that they immediately barricade themselves in the bathroom or somewhere else close to hair product. Bree tells him that a crazy woman has locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out and Orson smiles ear to ear hearing that his mother stopped by. Bree explains who the woman is before Orson tells them that there is a funnel cloud just outside the house and it looks angry and slightly like his Mommy. Bree bangs on the bathroom door and demands to be let in but Crazy won't budge. Orson suddenly remembers the panic room and leads everyone across the hall to the safety of the closet that Andrew lived in for 17 years.
Lynette and Big M rush into her bathroom and Lynette tells Big M to get in the tub. Big M begins to run water, light candles and strip but Lynette kills the mood by pushing her in. fully clothed and climbs in with her before pulling a mattress over them for protection.
"Miss McCluskey, that had better be your finger!"
Back in Edie's crawlspace, Gaby and Edie listen to the storm rage above them. Gaby begins to apologize for lying to Edie, but Edie stops her saying that there is no cause for deathbed confessions since they're both going to survive. Edie is sure she will be able to both hate Gaby for years to come and finally get her last testicle removed. Edie confesses that she doesn't really hate Gaby, rather is just hurt because she let herself fall for Carlos knowing that he would always go back to Gaby, with her shiny hair, petite body and lack of testicles.
"Edie honey, is that a roll of quarters in your pocket!"
In Bree's closet, Katherine and Bree begin bitching at each other like Paris and Nicole before they grew up or got knocked up. Adam tells the ladies to either strip and get some jell-o or stop fighting. Katherine agrees and apologizes for her attitude saying that she's just upset that Crazy is back in her life. Bree says that it was difficult for her to sit there and listen to Crazy babble on about how much she loved Adam and how she licked 1,000 Island dressing off his snake tattoo. Bree knows that was a lie because she has the Men of Wisteria Lane commemorative calendar and has seen that there is no tattoo on Adam's back, just a surprising amount of thick, black hair and that brand that says "Property of Katherine." Katherine glares at Adam and tells Bree that Adam doesn't have a tattoo now, but did when they lived in Chicago before he had it removed. Bree feels awkward as Katherine bitches at Adam about lying to her and causing them to lose everything, including her Hummel figuring collection. Adam doesn't have a third leg to stand on and simply hangs his head in shame as Katherine cries softly. Bree reaches out a withered hand and clutches Katherine's claw in support.
"Let's play a word game to break the tension. I'll say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Ok....Tattoo. O crap."
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Comments (11)
i normally dont get to watch desperate housewives because im at work. but this week i was home and got to watch it, and i must say that it makes reading your recaps twice as hilarious!
and screw the writers for making us wait.
1 of 11 | Posted by aman | Posted on December 5, 2007 10:35 AM
I totally forgot about Andrew leaving home. I just assumed he, Lee and Neil were having a Wizard of Oz party.
2 of 11 | Posted by cutebutstupid | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:16 PM
Oh Fozzie, I not only honestly love you, I'll have your first spawn, and I wont even have an epidural so thrilled will I be to bring more derision to this world. Knife marks, terlet, is that your finger . . . the only wrong note is sticking How do you talk to an angel in my head all recap!@!!
Thank you sooo much for all the annoying laughter I've bestowed on my new office mate, now and forever--and I say forget the writers strike, lets shoot your episodes!!!!
3 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 5, 2007 12:31 PM
I know my husband and I weren't the only people in Tornado Alley laughing out loud and the "preparations for the tornado warning to come!"
We really couldn't take any of the other stuff seriously because we just couldn't stop laughing at the whole storm is coming thing.
4 of 11 | Posted by KutiePie | Posted on December 5, 2007 3:18 PM
He didn't push me down the stairs -- I'm just really klutzy. Luckily my freakishly giant boobs broke my fall.
5 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on December 5, 2007 3:36 PM
Great recap Fozzie! And thanks for being the only recapper since Season 1 to actually consistently watch and recap every episode of this torturous, but somehow addictive show.
Seriously though, Victor dying? First of all, a mayor with presidential aspirations wouldn't be stupid enough to personally kill his wife's ex-husband (or his wife if he was going after Gabby). Second, it makes for a much better storyline for Gabby to stay married to a Victor after she tried to kill him. Marc Cherry is a dumb shit, honestly I could come up with better storylines.
This ep. definately did not live up to the "BEST EPISODE OF THE SEASON" commercials that ABC ran all week. I really couldn't believe that was it... and I predict the kids aren't dead. Maybe Tom is injured or something, but if there is one thing that is consistent about DH its that they don't take risks in writing. Predictability always wins.
6 of 11 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 5, 2007 4:07 PM
Awesome recap(per)!
Ida makes sense for the room temperature "friend", which means Lynette's husband isn't put out of his/our misery... and since it isn't cable (or my dreams), the kids will be okay, too.
The special effects were laughable. Objects fly through the air while trees in the background remain stationary or characters stand without leaning into the wind.
No way even Lynette would leave her kids in that situation to chase after a cat... even with the lovely Mrs. McClusky thrown in.
Oddly loved watching Crazy sucking to her probable doom. (But still love ya, Tina Fey! XOXO)
I will miss your inspired recaps more than the show itself!
7 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:59 AM
Meant "sucked", but Freudian works, too.
8 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 6, 2007 11:04 AM
I think this is the first time I've responded to anything related to this show, but I just couldn't pass this opportunity up!
First off, I agree with KutiePie. I live in Indiana, and we have tornadoes/watches/and warnings weekly throughout the summer and other times during the year. What the heck? When was the last time you taped your windows in preparation? haha
Oh...and the fact that the people outside had like 25 minutes to fight and chase cats or whatever while the tornado was RIGHT THERE on their street was also funny.
And "stationary background trees." I noticed that too. Good stuff.
For what it's worth, I say that Victor and the old lady in the basement are dead.
9 of 11 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on December 6, 2007 6:48 PM
Susan, Edie, Lynette, Bree, & Gaby are all alive, so ABC's marketing department is full of shit. Those are the only "main characters" on the show.
I wish Danielle had gotten sucked into the tornado swirl along with Crazy. Now THAT ending would've been worth all of the residuals in the world. And it only took me 2 seconds to think of it. Show me the money!
10 of 11 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 8, 2007 9:55 PM
not gonna lie i didnt feel bad for lynette at all...she is a selfish bitch...
POOR CARLOS
11 of 11 | Posted by lbonnerz | Posted on December 22, 2007 1:18 PM