Testimonials

Speaking of vagina, Adam is next door washing his car when a tempting female jogger comes by and stops for a quick sip-and-flirt. After she bounces away, Katherine kills Adam's hose, in more ways than one, and berates him for being a lecherous flirt. Adam warns her to stop and Katherine cryptically states that based on their history she should be telling him to stop. Adam says he can't not talk to women considering he's elbow deep in them every day, but Katherine insists that he doesn't have to bring his work home with him.

Even Freud couldn't decipher the subtle metaphor here.

Across the street, or possibly next door, or possibly down Mexico way, Gaby and Carlos are just finishing up their sweaty afternoon delight when Gaby starts asking questions. She asks why they are still sneaking around when Edie has recovered and they're obviously back in love with each other. Chicas man. Can't vida con 'em, can't vida no con 'em. Carlos insists that he is working on a plan to get Edie out of his life forever and she just needs to be patient, since that is Gaby's strongest virtue.

Meanwhile Stella is making a drug deal with Bree's hot bi son while wearing her finest Laura Ashley attire. She tells Andrew that she can't stand idly by while her daughter wastes away so he needs to score her the best weed he can get his sexy little hands on. She gives Andrew a hundred dollars, which I presume he will immediately spend on (boy) hookers (or girl?) and blow. Stella goes home and surprisingly Andrew comes through with the "stuff." Since Lynette is too much of a square to even smoke, Stella does things the old fashioned way and bakes the hash into brownies just like mom used to make. Stella convinces one of the gingers to deliver the brownies to Lynette and ply her with his sad, yellow eyes to eat one.

"I see orange people."

Inside the house, Bree is on the phone with her daughter after Danielle took a little tumble at the convent. Bree rants about Danielle roller blading when she is 8-1/2 months pregnant but Danielle replies, "Like, Oh my gah, mom. I only did it 'cause I was like so totally bored. I don't even have a frickin' DVD player! You don't even know! Like seriously! Gag me. O mah gah!" Bree has instructed the sisters at the nunnery to keep Danielle sequestered to her room until the baby is born and use the down time for quiet reflection. Danielle replies, "Oh mah gah, that is so not fair! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Like gag me with a spoon, skank!"

Home delivery of the Sunday New York Times? That sounds like totally awesome! Tell me more!

Susan makes her way to the OB/GYN that Bree recommended, which looks surprisingly like the waiting room in Beetlejuice. It's the kind of free clinic that exists only in television and movies, and right down the street from my apartment, complete with junkies looking for clean urine and hookers in for the monthly uterus scraping. Susan strikes up a conversation with a junky-tranny-hooker, I assume to steal make-up tips. She's obviously a little confused by the location and scuz of the office, but chooses to stick it out since Bree would only recommend the best, right?

Edie's makeup artist can work wonders.

As Katherine buzzes about getting ready for the party, Dylan and Julie study diligently. Katherine and Adam warn the kids to be good, not to drink and don't let any black, female Oscar winners in the house while they're away. When the parents exit, Julie and Dylan strip down to bra and panties and have a tickle fight before Julie once again inquires about Dylan's attempt to gain information about the dad she can't remember. Dylan tells her that her mom freaked out when she asked and she still has the hand print across her face to prove it. Dylan tells Julie about the forbidden room upstairs that her mom keeps eerily locked all the time. Luckily Julie has had to use a skeleton key when her mom's facelift tightened up, so she offers to pick the lock and do some Veronica Marsing.

Across the street the charades party is getting well under way, with Mike at the helm since Susan has yet to return from the OB of the Damned. Agent Dale Cooper wonders aloud why Susan would go to a gynecologist on the same street where a couple hookers were killed a few months ago, and Bree realizes she sent Susan to certain death considering how much Susan resembles a well worn hooker.

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 21, 2007 06:28 AM.