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Edie is itching to dish the news about her engagement at the party, but Carlos won't allow her to say anything, other than, "Whah, Carlos! I wanna be in the show. Whah!" Meanwhile, Gaby is trying to pretend her new husband isn't as lame as Mike as he drones on about a political competitor's wife getting arrested for shoplifting and how lucky he is that Gaby wouldn't ever cause a scandal. Eh, he don't know her to good, do he? Lynette stayed home to continue eating brownies and watch Spongebob, but she sent Tom in her stead. Katherine enters and the ladies all put on their plasticized smiles and immediately offer her cheap wine. They immediately try to gleam information but Katherine politely declines to comment on her first marriage.

Edie is hoping she has to mimic "Cruella DeVille" at the charades party.

Edie, the queen of subtly, flashes her engagement ring to the other ladies by casually scratching her beak, causing Gaby to go all fiery Latina. She quietly tells Carlos that she's done waiting for him and plans to move on to the next beefy man stick that will plow her like a Milagro bean field. Carlos immediately gets on his phone to his hit man and says that Edie needs to be taken care of sooner rather than later. She's ruining his relationship, using his money and his ass hurts so much he can't even sit down.

When Carlos returns to the room, he sees Gaby flirting coquettishly with Adam, causing Carlos to break his glass and bow leg his way out of the room. Katherine once again confronts Adam about his man-whoring and he too limps off to get another drink. In my slash fiction story, Adam and Carlos have sweaty man sex in the bathroom. In real life, Wisteria's version of it anyway, Edie lumbers up to Katherine and tells her that she shouldn't blame Adam for Gaby's behavior, because Gaby's a skank and got it on with her gardener, back when he had a career.

"Honey I just thought of something: We should buy a motor boat."

Susan finally enters her own party and immediately drags Bree away to lay the smack down for sending her to Crackville. While there she was terrorized by trannies (Edie's swayback sisters), molested by the doctor and had her phone stolen. Bree apologizes for sending her to a doctor that wasn't really her's but won't explain why, saying the reason is private. "You know what else is private?" Susan asks. "The parts of me the doctor snapped with his camera phone." The pictures will soon be seen on What Not To Wear.

It's time for games and the group is split into two teams with Susan and Gaby as captains. Gaby chooses Adam, Bree, her husband and some boring carpenter man who I've never seen before named Mike. Is he on this show? Susan gets stuck with Tom, Carlos, Edie and Katherine. Across the street Lynette is having a grand old time with her kids watching cartoons and chowing down on anything she can get her hands on when she finally realizes she's feeling good enough to join the party. Susan is explaining the rules as Lynette enters like a drunk frat girl at a date rape mixer. Everyone cheers that Lynette has finally joined them and to prove she's on top of her game, Lynette does a spinning kick and knocks over a lamp and just giggles like a drunk frat boy at the same party.

"Cheap Ikea crap!"

Agent Dale Cooper goes first and obviously doesn't understand the no talking or props rule of charades. It's not really important to the story but I hate when people can't play simple party games. Lynette goes next and at first she blanks on how to give clues and can't figure out how many syllables are in the answer, before she is hit with a bolt of inspiration. She points to Edie and everyone begins wildly guessing. "Transexual! Bleach blond! Elongated fully engorged 7 inch clitoris! Manish! Knots Landing! Size 15 shoes!" When no one quite gets it, she acts out the clue by standing on a chair and pretending to hang herself. "Low hangers?" Finally Tom guesses "Hang 'Em High" correctly and everyone sits in stunned, uncomfortable silence.

"Um.....Jesse Metcalfe's career!"

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 21, 2007 06:28 AM.