Testimonials

Enter Stella, stage left as she locates Tom to ask if Lynette by any chance brought some brownies with her when she arrived, explaining that they're funny brownies. Not ha ha funny, but "whoa dude" funny. As Tom rushes around the room collecting the baked awesomeness, he accidentally bumps into Gaby who spills her drink on Adam. As she dabs him off with her boobs, Katherine asks her to keep her tiny hands off her Whedonverse husband. Katherine confronts Gaby in front of the congregation with the newfound information about Gaby's reputation for solicitation with the gardening kid nation, which is pure exploitation.

Gaby retaliates by telling Katherine that Bree saw her slap her daughter when she asked about her dad. The room stands in awkward silence as Katherine's eyes fill with tears and she tells them that yes she did lose her temper, but they need to imagine the worst thing a father could do to his daughter and then consider how hard it is to talk about that with her. Dylan's dad refused to buy her tickets the Hanna Montana concert? That bastard! Katherine excuses herself from the party wishing everyone a pleasant evening and hopes she satiated their rabid curiosity. Awwwwwkward!

Victor is sitting alone in Susan's guest room when Gaby enters to apologize. She tells him that the gardener happened a long time ago and he has no reason to be jealous since their gardener now is that old Chinese guy. Victor tells her that he's not jealous, rather he's trying to think of a way to spin the gossip so it won't ruin his political career. He asks Gaby is money would keep her former gardener from talking. The way his career is going these days, I'm sure it would.

Will act for food.

Dylan and Julie are touring memory lane trying to make Dylan remember the good old days, when she was four. Julie tells her that something in the room must jog her memory since they're in her old bedroom. Dylan looks confused since her mother told her that she's staying in her old bedroom down the hall, when Katherine enters, all shrill and harpy-like. She sends Julie home to help her mother clean up the mess, including the ruined lives of several of her neighbors, before telling Dylan that she doesn't want her to see Julie anymore. She's a bad influence, a trouble maker, and her jaw looks like Batman's.

Agent Dale Cooper finds Bree and tells her that Danielle's fall is more serious than they thought. Her placenta ruptured, causing a tear in her uterus. Oh, and she's a raging bitch. As Bree and Agent Dale Cooper rush out to be by her snotty, whore of a daughter's side, Susan stops Bree demanding an explanation for the OB from hell that she sent her to. Bree tells Susan that she can't talk now and needs to learn that not everything is about her. Edie sashays up and tells Susan that the night was a pure disaster but still the best party Susan's ever thrown. Edie's obviously forgetting Susan's sweet 16 when her parents rented a victrolla and had Wild Bill Hickock shoot a cigarette out of Annie Oakley's mouth.

Susan even took pictures.

Carlos is alone in the bathroom, fresh from his make out session with Adam (www.fozzie'sfantasyworld.blogspot//spanktank.org) when Gaby comes in and plants a kiss and a slap on him. She tells him she's angry that he's engaged to Edie, but still loves him because he broke his glass when he got jealous earlier. She loves the way he loves her, with rage, anger and violence, so they're affair is still on for Thursday. When Carlos leaves the room he gets a call from his hit man, who says that he has a way to get rid of Edie but it may take a few days. When the hit man hangs up the phone the camera pans away to show that he's not a hit man at all. He's an accountant! And he's asking his secretary for the Brit file! Even scarier. As Carlos beams with joy, Victor enters and asks Carlos why he didn't kill the kid that boinked Gaby when they were married. Carlos says that no woman is worth going to jail for, but Victor counters saying he'd never stand for someone banging his woman and that if you have enough money it's not that hard to make someone disappear. Obviously Victor has an accountant of his own.

"Home delivery of the Sunday New York Times? You bet your sweet ass I wanna hear more."

« America's Most Smartest Model: The Fat Man Walks the Plank | Main | Beauty and the Geek: From Geek To Gay... Or At Least Metrosexual »

Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 21, 2007 06:28 AM.