Testimonials

At Casa de Andrew, Bree shows up with a pan of veal scaloppini as a peace offering and so she'd have something heavy to hit the crackheads with in his neighborhood. Andrew lets Bree in and begins to chow down on the food as Bree pleads with him to move back home. Bree confesses that she realizes how Andrew must be angry about what she said the other day, but he must realize how he previously put her through hell with the blackmail, physical violence and that time she caught him getting banged by six black guys in the den. Six big, sexy, black guys. Andrew says he realizes how difficult he was then, but is upset that his mother hasn't noticed how much he has changed by holding a job, getting insurance and regularly taking his penicillin injections. Bree doesn't want to part on bad terms with him again, like the time she dumped him on the side of the road to live off of garbage and the kindness of confirmed bachelor college professors. Andrew tells Bree that he forgave her for that a long time ago and asks her to use a coaster at which point her heart swells three sizes.

"Andrew, honey, you know I love you but your faggy little voice is grating on me like nails on a chalkboard today."

Lynette and Stella are sitting in Glen's fashionably decorated drawing room as Glen tells Lynette about his partner that died in the spring, we'll assume of AIDS since the writers aren't very creative this week. Glen excuses himself to retrieve the celestial seasonings and Lynette asks Stella why she never told her that Glen was a pole smoker? Stella felt that it was a blemish on her untarnished history as a sexual goddess to have turned a man gay. Lynette tells Stella that it doesn't work that way and she can ask anybody, other than Susan, and they'll tell her the same thing. Stella also felt that it wouldn't have really changed anything for her kids to know, since they still would have resented her all these years anyway. Lynette says it would have changed everything knowing why Stella was unable to stay married to the greatest man, and most talented interior decorator she ever knew. Lynette then begs Stella to come home with her but Stella feels that living with Lynette would destroy the relationship they just began to forge. Glen prances in with an idea. He happens to have an immaculately decorated guest room (is there any other kind?) and would love Stella to stay around for the company. Stella agrees but tells him that she's keeping his money. They all hug like one big happy family. One big queer, boozing, cancer-having happy family.

"Oh my God, I ate cereal in Easter pink gingham chairs and I never put it together until now."

At the hospital Gaby is led into the room just as Victor is waking up. She tells the doctor and the police how she wouldn't be surprised if he were babbling like Lindsay Lohan on a bender after all he had been through. The police begin to ask Victor questions but Victor can't remember where he was or how he got there. Lucky for Gaby, Victor is suffering from focal grade retro evening soap induced amnesia. Gaby is thrilled at this turn of events and asks the doctors and police to leave so that she can begin to nurse her dear, sweet, weak, bed-ridden husband back to health. After they leave Gaby leans in to give Victor a gentle kiss on the forehead but Victor roughly grabs her porcelaine doll-like cheek and whispers in her ear, "I remember everything." Gaby pulls away and Victor tells her that he needs to rest now because he is going to need all his strength to make her life a living hell.

"What do you mean Sarah Jessica Parker farts in bed? Why would you tell me that?"

While Mike and Susan are getting ready for bed, he tells Susan how much better his shoulder feels now that he's been doing stretches and listening to those Yani tapes. Susan says she's going to take a shower and Mike says he is going to make a sandwich, but Susan doesn't believe him.

« Kid Nation: Pioneers Just Wanna Have Fun | Main | Americas Next Top Model: Go Sees! Go Sees! Go Sees!!! »

Posted in Desperate Housewives by FozzieBare at 7:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Donna Martin Graduates! on Dec 1, 2007 01:18 PM.