We open with the classic reality show montage, telling us what's to come this season. I'm confused at this point: is this like Biggest Loser? Nope. These ladies live where the show is filmed (LA?) and are doing this weight-loss show from the comforts of their homes. No one gets voted off, either. I get further confused when the opening montage shows us Therapist Stacy from Celebrity Fit club. The women are talking about divorce and its effect on their health. Hey, it's Lifetime, we're going to get in touch with our feelings. I think we're going to use the word "journey" a lot, too. Get used to it. The montage otherwise treats us to clips of sweaty, gasping women with bad hair high-fiving each other or flipping tractor tires together or crying or funneling whipped cream from the can directly into their kids' mouths. Typical. Thank God the clips also show us that a makeover is coming, because I have a real issue with some of these women's hair and fashion choices.

To be fair, and nice for once, I actually think this show is a great idea. Weight loss doesn't need to be a cutthroat competition, and it's probably way more successful in the long term to accomplish it A) with friends and B) within the confines of your own daily life. Those Biggest Losers get to spend 8+ hrs a day on a fancy ranch with a kick-ass gym to lose their weight, and how many of them REALLY keep it off once they go home? Remember the partner of that super-fat kid Danny from last year's BL? He went home and immediately hit up the hot dog hut. I think when you make changes within your actual life from the beginning, you're more likely to stick with it, especially when your best friends are eyeing you judgmentally. And, hey, it's Lifetime, wheeee! Friends supporting each other and facing their fears! Hugs!! Unicorns and rainbows and Army Wives!

The five friends are members of a local softball team called "The Misfits". Doofy music plays while these women bobble balls (heeeey!) and whiff their bats (whoa) and generally act like buffoons.

We also get our first glimpse of the horror that is Tiffany's hair. I'm sure she's a sweet woman, but she's got terrible taste in hair. The color is one thing (concentric stripes--WIDE ones--of rich, fake, burgundy and super-blonde), and the cut is quite another. It's all flipped and winged, and it's a total mess. I bet she is really going to clean up nicely once they wash the Sharpie out of her hair.

Her sister Stephanie isn't doing much better, both during the game and at the salon. I'm all for aggressive highlights, ladies, but this is taking it too far.

Rita's up next, and she looks like a sad puddle of mud next to these two. Who needs her wan ass?

Mary speaks up next, and she's your typical suburban soccer mom, dowdy blonde bangs and all.

Finally, we....DON'T get to meet the big black woman they keep showing us. Racists! Seriously, who is she and why didn't she get an opening spot like everyone else?

The ladies head out to the local pub after the game and order one of everything off the menu. I bet you think I'm kidding. They know their "journey" (see?) starts tomorrow, so today, they're living it up. As Garfield says, "My diet starts tomorrow." And then, yay, we finally meet Laneesa! It's about time! (Hi Laneesa!)

All their apps come out, and holy shit, that's a lot of food. And what makes me laugh is that every plate has a pile of deep-fried brown turd products on it (mozz sticks, poppers, fries, wings, you name it) and an equal amount of carrots and celery sticks. Like, the mozzarella sticks are artfully arranged in a fan with the carrots and celery sticks. What is that about?!

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Posted in DietTribe by SexyPanda at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: pixielated on Oct 6, 2009 03:11 PM.