This is the true story (true storyyyyy!) of five friends, picked to lose weight together and ogle a hot trainer, to find out what happens when people stop eating like crap....and start getting real. Or, according to the title of this week's episode of DietTribe, it's time for the Fab Five to face "The Cold Hard Truth". Ya know, these ladies--at least Stephanie and Tiffany--remind me of what a Real Worlder looks like when they grow up. Too much makeup, crazy hair, and clothes that are too small. Again, when is the makeover show??
(I am really, really tired of the clip of Stephanie crying, "How can you hurt me, when I gave you everything!" Are you?)
Welcome, friends. This week on DietTribe, the women meet at Mary's house to talk about last week's failure. Laneesa is the first one to make mealymouthed excuses about why it's okay that they didn't meet their goals. Yes, you shouldn't beat yourself up for it (for too long), but you also gotta own your mistakes and change it. I'm glad when the others don't seem to have the same rationalizations.
Rita looks really pretty here--a little eyeliner and a colorful shirt sure do a lot to help her out. She speaks up and is honest about how she was snacking on the wrong stuff--how she made that classic dieter's mistake of thinking, "Well, this isn't the crap I NORMALLY eat, so it must be better, right?" Wrong. An oversized portion of light popcorn can do as much damage as a Snickers bar.
Tiffany and her awful hair speak up, asking for the support of the gang for when she wants to slip up. Don't let her make those excuses! Don't let her get that awful hair touched up, either. WHEN IS THE MAKEOVER SHOW??!
Jesse's got the ladies in a park for a workout. They're stretching. Jessie clearly isn't one of those musclebound knuckleheads who does "curls for the girls" but doesn't work his legs. Those chicken-legged guys look STUPID. No, Jessie has a lovely set of calves that I'd like to wrap my own calves around. And I don't mean during a game of Twister.
He hasn't shaved for a few days, either, and it helps him look like less of a pretty boy and more like a guy worthy of dating SexyPanda. Uh oh. My own crush is starting to scare me. (HA!) Wait...wait. He's wearing a v-neck shirt. It doesn't look as awful on him as it does on those hipster doofuses who wear them with the really wide, deep V, but...I still don't like it. Try again, Jessie.
Anyway, he hands out calorie books to the ladies. The all page through to check out the calories, fat, and carbs in the foods they usually consume. A medium-sized bunch of grapes is 350 calories? Steph is shocked.
Next, Jessie hands out a modified two-week diet. When he explains that the diet has the women eating only 1200 calories a day, I sit up and go, "oh no. No no no." 1200 calories is not enough for the work these women are doing. It is the bare minumum amount of calories someone should eat to survive the day. I'm really concerned, until I realize that they'll probably cheat anyway and actually get themselves to the 1500 they were supposed to be consuming all along. And, really, it's only for two weeks. Still, I'm wrinkling my nose at this. At least he's honest as he warns them, "You are going to be hungry."
Tiffany asks why they're getting this diet now, and it's such an obvious answer that I'm now pretty sure they're scripting it. Anyway, Jessie says, "Duh. You all sucked at the last weigh in, dummy, so you get punished." Actually, no, he just explains that since their last weigh-in wasn't so successful, obviously something's not working, so they need to be a little more drastic. Tiffany expresses concern about reducing their calories so much, because the 1500 calorie diet was already a struggle. Damn right.
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Comments (8)
A lot of women who have eating disorders (and overeating to the point of obesity is an eating disorder) have a background of incest or rape. That's why I don't like to make fun of them being lazy, etc.
Why on earth would Lifetime spend all that money on wetsuits (which apparently aren't even necessary, if you don't have one, Panda), tri-suits, etc. and give them those crappy bikes? And not even adjust them properly! I don't even cycle and I know that you are supposed to have your leg almost fully extended when the pedal is at its lowest point. One of these poor gals is going to break her bike, what do you want to bet.
1 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 21, 2009 1:26 AM
I hear ya, on the lazy part! Laneesa seems like a tough nut to crack. I get a sense that something is really simmering inside of her. And her poor hip.
I've done five triathlons so far without the wetsuit, as well as an open water swim event (1.5 miles). I definitely survived all of the swims, but I'd definitely be a LOT faster with the wetsuit! I tried one on at a swim clinic, and the difference in buoyancy and speed in the water was incredible. I would love to shave some time off my race by being a little better equipped!
The bikes just kill me, on so many levels. They're awful. When I rented that bike in Vancouver, I at LEAST adjusted the seat to the proper height before leaving the store!
Hey, thanks for reading, Pixie!
2 of 8 | Posted by sexypanda | Posted on October 21, 2009 4:50 AM
SexyPanda...
Thanks for the recaps! I really thought this show would blow, but the women seem to be really into it. And Jessie seems to really care about teaching the tribe how to properly eat and get fit. Speaking of Jessie...how hot would he have looked in that gray henley shirt without the black tee over it.. and those smoking water pics....thank you Sexy Panda. Seriously. Thank you!
3 of 8 | Posted by Marijai | Posted on October 21, 2009 9:52 AM
I agree, I love that Jessie considers himself to be a part of their team. He always says "we" instead of "you". I love it.
And ha, you are welcome! *sigh....*
4 of 8 | Posted by sexypanda | Posted on October 21, 2009 10:31 AM
I'll bet that there's some kind of sexual abuse in Laneesa's past.
Having Jessie around would definitely motivate me MUCH more than Jillian or Bob on TBL. Am I remembering correctly--isn't the new Bachelor, the pilot, Jake--a Pavelka? Do you think they are related?
5 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 21, 2009 3:53 PM
I saw that too! I even sent around a side-by-side comparison to my friends, and we didn't think they looked enough alike to be related. But the same last name, both from TX? Maybe distant cousins?
6 of 8 | Posted by sexypanda | Posted on October 21, 2009 7:14 PM
If they are related, there is a whole lot of pretty in that family. Who knows, there could be thousands of Pavelkas in Texas. And didn't Jake say he was the black sheep in his family because everyone else is/are doctors?
7 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 21, 2009 11:01 PM
I wanted to say THANK YOU again for the still frames of shirtless Jessie. You already said we were welcome but....... it was worth repeating. Also, both are pretty boys but somehow Jessie makes me all *grrr* where Jake only makes me want to pat his head and feed him soup.
8 of 8 | Posted by archergreen | Posted on October 27, 2009 9:59 AM