Horses, Laser Tag, drunk rich people, and an ever so delightful murder mystery!
We begin at a hoity-toity equestrian country club. Rich buttholes are lounging abouts as I like to imagine rich buttholes do, sipping their Long Island Ice Teas, talking about tennis. A woman riding a horse - I'm guessing her name is Margaret, as that's what someone calls her - tells her, uh, husband maybe (he seems a bit young for her) that she's gonna go for a ride, then seconds later the horse returns riderless. Curious.
Cut to Echo coming out of the brain programming chair. DeWitt is standing there waiting for her, looking a bit bothered. Echo, in character, calls her Addy, and is all like, What's the matter girlfriend? Then DeWitt calls Echo Margaret - further establishing my theory that that is her name - and informs her that she has bad news... "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. You're dead. "
Boom. Opening credits. Nice cold-open, "Dollhouse." Well played.
After the dreamy, dreary title sequence ends, we join everybody's favorite jerk-nerd, Topher, working on something in his lab when Boyd walks in. You may recall that Boyd has now been promoted to head of security after it was revealed that Dominic was an NSA mole (although I don't believe he's the real mole they were looking for). Boyd tries to act casual, but can't help being all, So how is Echo? And Topher's all, Aww, papa bear can't let go?
Echo has been imprinted with Margaret, the dead horse lady, and Boyd wants to know what the dillio is. Topher isn't sure, but it has something to do with dead lady being old friends with DeWitt. Then Topher says he needs a doll (or "active" as the hip kids say these days) so he can run a "diagnostic" of some kind. Boyd suggest Sierra, cause she's a main character and they need something for her to do this episode.
Up in DeWitt's office: Echo as Margaret is parading around, happily checking out her own body. Have you ever noticed that every personality that Echo is programmed with is essentially the same? Weird huh? I wonder if that's part of some deeper mystery. Cause the only other explanation is that maybe Eliza Dushku doesn't have the most diverse range as an actress. But that's just silly talk. Remember her in True Lies? Man, the first 2/3 of that movie are so awesome. Whoa I just realized something... True Lies? "Tru Calling?" Do you think there's a connection?! Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah...
So Margaret had apparently come into the Dollhouse a month prior to have her brain uploaded into their database so that if/when she died, she could be planted into a doll - which is of course what has just happened. She seems surprisingly unfazed by being dead and reborn. She's all like, What's up Addy, why the long face? And DeWitt's like, Um, my friend just died; you, you were that friend, you're dead. Margaret's all, Pft, whatever. Then she says they should go to her funeral and do... detective work! She wants to solve her own murder. Murder, eh? How delightfully exciting!
Margaret supposedly died of a heart attack, but she suspects foul play. I suspect it was the horse. Think about - that's whom she was last seen with! Ever since an 8th grader told me that Catherine the Great was crushed while having sex with a horse, I haven't trusted the four-legged killing machines.
At the funeral, Echo as Margaret, who now wants to be called Julia (this is gonna get confusing), informs DeWitt that she'd been mentioning a "Julia" to her family for months and now Julia will be her mole so she can infiltrate her own family. Apparently she has always been super paranoid that someone wants to kill her for her money. I'll give Margaret this - she had an interesting plan for her death. Me? When I die I want to be launched out of a canon directly into a crowd of my enemies. That'll shown em! Bwah ha ha ha!
We are introduced to the other players in our Who Done It:
Back at the Dollhouse: Topher is playing Dr. Frankenstein with Sierra. Hmm. Seems his "diagnostic" is really a pleasure scenario for himself. He's turned Sierra into a junk food eating and video game loving bff. Pervy, bro, very pervy.
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Comments (1)
Dollhouse, where every character is a creep.
So it's okay for Topher to "date rape" Serria, but not okay when her old handler did because what... it's only once a year? Plus instead of beating his ass, Boyd all signs off on it this time?
At least there's massive foreshadowing, you can tell from the start Topher is a date rapist because he's got an Xbox 360, the console of date rapists and frat boys. Though I guess that's redundant. A Vin Diagram of date rapists & frat boys would look like a boob with the frat boys being the nipple-y center.
It's too bad this show is probably already cancelled. I'd love to see DeWitt bring her friend back for a night of laser tag in a few seasons... and then date rape her.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who hate sMellie (I'm so clever). I hope Det, Ballard (Helo) turns out to be Alpha and cuts her to pieces her when she starts talking about flowers in vases again.
And then takes a huge dump on her and says, "What? You were into it last night."
1 of 1 | Posted by Poopfloats | Posted on April 27, 2009 2:53 PM