Greetings 'Gasmii! I just got back from Los Angeles where I spent the weekend celebrating the BF's birthday with lots of good food (we had an insanely expensive but orgasmic meal at Lawry's The Prime Rib) and entertainment (we screened the classic disaster-flick "The Towering Inferno" to see O.J. Simpson's amazing afro) and I wondered if I might be able to somehow find the IkkMansion in the Hollywood Hills... and throw rocks at it. However, this week's show spent very little time there, as the Ikkitestants were whisked away to fabulous Las Vegas so they could get stupidrunk in an even tackier environment than usual...
...and have a blowjobfaceoff apparently...
I have to say, I absolutely love me some Las Vegas! I truly do. All the glitz and glitter and glamour and any other word that starts with "G" that you can think of (even words like "gorgeous" and "gaudy" and "grotesque"). Love it. And on this week's episode of Double Shot At Love we pretty much get none of that because this show's thong-string budget could only put them up at the Hard Rock Hotel (and jeez, I never thought I'd say this, but Planet Hollywood is way cooler looking) but as always, I will soldier on. Come join me for some suckage after the jump!
We open on aerial shots of The Strip (of course we know MTV is going to ignore all the uggos that inhabit Downtown) as Rikki tells us they're taking Barfly, Gnarly and Chub-In-Training to a "romantic getaway" in Vegas. The first one of them who says either "Vegas, baby!" or "Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!" is going to feel me taking an industrial-strength nail-gun to the crotch of the voodoo dolls I have made of them. That is such a lie anyhow, because whatever happens in Vegas often comes home with you. In the form of microscopic pets, usually.
Anyhow, a big black gas-guzzling SUV pulls up to the Hard Rock Hotel and Chubbsy comes bounding out whooping and jumping up and down like the utter embodiment of dipshittery that he is...
...I guess dickfaces can defy gravity, too...
I think it's kind of interesting that up until last week we had no clue that Scott was Jewish (well, sorta Jewish, I get the feeling he might be considered a bit of a jack jew) and now instead of tuxedo T-shirts or that fabulously stupid "Lesbians Learn From ME" tank-top, he's suddenly alllll about Hebrew Pride... well, Jewish-American Princesses across the land, meet your Chubby King!
Upon entering their suite, King Chubbsy is spurred into further paroxysms of joyous elation as he shouts "This room is everything that the Hard Rock Casino stands for! This is exactly what I expected Vegas to be, but, like, times, like, a million!" All because they have a purple pool table, a few flat-screen TVs and a king-size bed (which Scott immedately starts jumping on with his bare fungus-encrusted feet). Chub-In-Training is easily impressed, I guess. Too bad he's not more easily groomed.
After the Final Three bust open some champers and start up a game of pool to pass the time, the Ikki Twins finally make their first appearance to tell them how this whole trip is gonna go down. They'll all go on a "group date" during the day, and then at night they will have a private date with each of the Ikkitestants. Vikki interviews that she's "falling in love" with all three of these rock-bottom remainders, and marvels at the fact that she could be "in love" with three people by the time they leave Vegas. I've known more relationships that have hellishly imploded over drunken weekend antics in Nevada than anywhere else on the planet. Vikki obviously has breast-fat-for-brains...
..."Eating at The Pink Taco is romantical, right?"...
Anywhore, they all share a toast to what Rikki calls the "best Vegas trip evah!" and Vikki makes sure to plug the show by adding "and a Double Shot At Love!" (in case the viewing audience is too illiterate to notice the graphic plastered over the lower-right-hand corner of the screen throughout the entire show).
Instead of going to The Pink Taco, or Nobu, or even Mr. Lucky's Diner, they all make their way into what looks like an empty darkened strip-show lounge where they are seated at a booth to have "lunch"... all by themselves. Woo-hoo for the sights and sounds of Vegas! This place could be an L.A.-area Spearmint Rhino during off-hours for all we know. Hope they ran a hot mop over the floor (and seats) at least.
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Comments (6)
Ok, I'm confused. There are two Ikkis. There are two contestants left. Why do we need another elimination ceremony? I don't get it.
1 of 6 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on February 1, 2009 3:51 PM
Exactly, Snootch--what the hell is this show about? Maybe the producers are just as stupid as the Ikkis and didn't actually figure out that with just two 'contestants' left for two girls, there's not a whole hell of a lot of suspense there.
I'm guessing we're supposed to bite our nails and wonder 'will she or won't she'?
Even though, jeez, they weeded through all the other contestants to end up with these two trailer trash?
Luckily there's J-Mo, putting it all in perspective...
2 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 1, 2009 4:04 PM
Well, my guess is that each of the Ikkis gets to pick who she wants. If they both want the same person, then that person gets to choose, otherwise, they each get somebody.
It seems like Chubbsie wasn't too far off when he thought that he had to appeal to BOTH of them. They seem to recognize that they each get their own person, but they still want the other Ikki's person to like them a whole lot, too. That's narcissism for ya.
Well, at least having Chubbs on the show dispelled the stereotype of Jewish men as being smart and respectful to women.
3 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on February 1, 2009 6:16 PM
J-Mo, the pic of dickface defying gravity was fucking priceless! I think I shot coffee out of my nose when I saw it.
You never fail to get me - I REALLY need to stop eating and/or drinking anything when I read your recaps. Pretty soon I'll need to buy a new PC!!
4 of 6 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on February 2, 2009 9:52 AM
Darling J-Mo,
If I didn't already love you madly, you would totally have won my heart with the
"because cheap garden-salad (and cheaper cleavage) always looks so much more appetizing under fluorescent lighting..." screengrab. I've been giggling about it all morning. You totally deserve a medal for taking on this disgusting wreck,
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 6 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on February 2, 2009 11:37 AM
Snootchy Bootches... honey, you and me both are confused about why this show even exists, much less their need for another elimination ceremony. Perhaps there would have been more suspense if they hadn't, you know, sent home FIVE and SIX contestants at a time... dumbasses...
itchy... thank you, I'm hanging on until tonight and then it will be some time to watch some semi-adult TV for me... you're sweet to stick by me, though...
pixielated... I'm not so sure that Chubbsy's attempts to appeal to both Ikkis was so much strategy on his part as it was sheer possessive greed, I think he's the kind of kid who would break his toys rather than have to share them with anyone... and you're right, here I thought a nice Jewish Boy would be sweet and kind, but he certainly presents a new model of behavior, doesn't he?
PottyMouth... thanks sugarpie, you're doing damn good in the ol' beverage-out-the-nose department yourself!
Yenta... please, if you know anyone in the Jewish Mafia, can you please send them to Par(anus), NJ and have them beat Scott back into line with the rest of us humans? Also, can you tell me how I can cure myself of my unhealthy desires to lick him from head to toe? Thanks!
Okay, here is my prediction for the finale: Barfly 'Bekah will be chosen by neither Ikki, because DUH, she has a KID, so she'll get sent home... THEN, as if we didn't see this coming 84 trillion miles away, BOTH Ikkis will pick Gnarly Trevor, everyone will cry, and then Trevor will be forced to choose between the Twins, and he'll say he loves them both too much to choose between them, so he'll decline, and we'll all be stuck with a second season of this crapfest! You watch and see if I'm not right!
Thanks guys, just a couple more episodes and we can put this one to bed! As always, I love all your commentary! Thank you!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 6 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on February 3, 2009 7:45 AM