The Vaseline shortage in L.A. just reached critical mass.
I'm still sad about Porkchop's premature elimination last week, as were some of you, but I don't think that this week would have been much better for her. Maybe if they had led with a comedic talent challenge we'd still be enjoying her presence. I'd like to think of her sitting on her porch in North Carolina, cackling her rump off while she watches what the girls left behind have to go through this week. This is some high stress and there are plenty of hurt feelings to go around.
If you've watched Project Runway or Top Chef you know that those producers always include plenty of the drama that goes on behind the scenes in whatever living quarters the contestants are sharing. At the beginning of this episode we only get a few seconds' glimpse of the girls' digs as they're waking up. There isn't enough shown to get a read on their surroundings so I'm just going to assume that the wig budget was so huge that the show could only afford to put them up in the local YMCA. Which is fine since God knows it's been a part of gay culture for years and a fine instution to crash at when your family throws you out on your sequined derriere.
Our chickadees assemble in the workroom for this morning's Shemail in which Ru alludes to the next challenge and mentions Diana Ross and the Supremes. We've got a girl group challenge on the way! So we're stepping it up a notch this week with not just sewing, hair and makeup, but choreography too. And two teams of four. Oh dear. What's the chance that these Divas can get along in a situation of cooperation and dick-tatorship? None, thankfully.
To figure out who will lead each group, the hunky Pit Crew from last week brings in cameras for all the girls. Ru will give them a different scenarios like, "You just found out that your $10,000 Louis Vuitton bag is fake," and they must take snapshots of their own expressions. When Ru says, "Cher just announced that she's retiring for real," everyone looks shocked and dismayed except for Akashia who takes a photo of herself emiting a loud laugh. Drag blasphemy! She's lucky that the drag Godesses on high didn't strike her dead.
Laugh now, there will be plenty of time for crying when Michelle gets her claws out. Trust me.
The last expression is for "Somebody cut the cheese," followed by appropriate 'pee-u' expressions and it's time for Ru to announce the winners. Little Ongina comes in first, followed by Akashia. I was a bit surprised by this choice since I thought that everyone else's were better. But we are here for maximum drama so I can't complain too much about the decision.
They pick teams and it worked out this way with Tammie getting picked last;
Ongina's team: Shannel, Nina and Rebecca
Akashia's team: Jade, Bebe and Tammie
They do the obligatory C.U.N.T. chant and Ru leaves two cards on the table with a song written on each of them. Since he's leaving it up to them to decide which group is doing which song, Akashia does the sweet, ladylike thing and snatches them both up off the table before Ongina can even stand up. She resorts to the only thing she can do and hops up on the bitch's back.
(Scratch her eyes out, Ong! I won't tell.)
The two songs they have to pick from are hits from Destiny's Child.
Akashia picks "Independent Woman" for her team and Ong is left with "Say My Name." Ongina gets right to work, assigning Shannel makeup duties, Rebecca Outfits, Nina wigs and herself choreography. Take a wild guess who wants to make all the decisions for this group? It's showgirl Shannel, the queen of tact. This girl's ego and sense of entitlement make her so hard to like sometimes even though I truly do want to like her. I hope it's just the editing.
Akashia's team has Bebe on hair, Jade choreography, Tammie is doing the outfits and Akashia picks makeup for her task. Mmm hmm. The easiest one. How much you want to bet that she doesn't even help anyone apply it? No takers? Didn't think so. Any hoo, everone's bitching so much that they don't even notice as the Pit Crew wheels the hair and fabric into the room.
Swoon. I think that these two deserve their own show. They can just stand around or take showers together or comb my hair and rub my back.....oopsy! Got distracted!
Two of the future ex-Mr. McSlore's.
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Comments (16)
I feel bad that Tammie left. She was quirky and funny and really worked the Bette Davis thing. But this competition is clearly geared toward a certain kind of drag queen. I think Tammie knew that and was sick of all of the bitchiness. She kept herself above it, but couldn't help but be influenced by it. It is too bad that Akashia got a free pass to the next episode, but Tammie was clearly miserable. Akashia won't last long anyway. She is NOT pretty, has no talent, and has an attitude like a rotton egg.
I'm team Ongina at this point, though I don't think she will win. I also like Rebecca, Shanel and Nina.
1 of 16 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on February 13, 2009 3:57 PM
Hey snootchy, I agree with you on everything. I was hoping that Akashia would do Cleveland proud but she has shown herself to be a mean spirited brat. I'm really starting to like Ongina, Jade and Nina. We will see what happens next week with the Oprah challenge.
Thanks for your comments and I hope you have a great Valentine's Day. Big kiss, honey
2 of 16 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on February 13, 2009 4:53 PM
I haven't watched this show, have no idea what day, time or channel it's on, but will read your recaps because of your name. I love it! Oh, and great recap.
3 of 16 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on February 14, 2009 6:59 AM
Thanks shantigal, the show is on Monday nights at 10pm EST on the Logo channel. If your cable provider doesn't carry it, you can watch the episodes on Logo.com.
4 of 16 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on February 14, 2009 7:42 AM
i wasn't watching this either until I read the first recap. I've watched both episodes and am ashamed of how much I like this show. Sadly, I think my man would die before watching this. Thanks for the great recaps!
5 of 16 | Posted by tadow | Posted on February 15, 2009 3:32 AM
I dunno...I watched the first episode, but was pretty disappointed. You'd think a show about drag queens would get pretty outrageous, but these people are pretty bland...not to mention that the show itself is just a shoddy rehash of an already overworked formula.
Maybe I just expect more, considering the drag queen angle. But the girls on Rock of Love are way more outrageous. Hell, even the clowns on the last Project Runway were more fun.
And to be honest, the recap's just a bit too polite...when this low-rent (Logo channel?) trashfest should be inspiring a bit more snark and a lot less awe.
6 of 16 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 15, 2009 2:38 PM
Uh, I actually watched this episode online. That's fifty minutes of my life that I'll never get back but I'm glad I watched it. You know the drag queen community always talks about how amazing drag is and how it's a unique experience, and blah, blah, blah and, oh, it's witty too. Well, the drag queen community is WRONG. This show was just like every drag queen show that I've seen over the past 20 years of my life: boring, uneventful, with bad performers who were gussied up like sluts. Oh, and did I mention BORING. This show is just so wrong on so many levels.
Did any of you notice that it's just a GAY MINSTRAL SHOW. Who is the audience for this show? The drag queen ghetto (yes) and straight-ees? Is the show designed for straight people to watch so they can point at the drag queens and say, "look at the stupid little queer." Isn't that what white people did with the Stephin Fetchit character back in the 1930s and 1940s? but back then people were saying, "Look at the stupid little..."
How gay people can accept these stereotypes as positive and appropriate in 2009 is beyond me. This show chains the gay community to the past and keeps us chained there.
Uh, and that ugly bitch Ru Paul is an enemy of our cause. Somebody needs to kick his butt all the way to Paris and tell him to stay there. He does not help our case for equality and he's using this DISGUSTING NEGATIVE show to make money off the backs of our gay brothers.
7 of 16 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on February 15, 2009 4:31 PM
How do you feel about the Gay Pride parades and such, Mr Dangerous?
They seem to revel in dressing in drag or other "outrageous" gear.
To me, it's part of gay culture. Not the ONLY part, but a part. Of course, I'm not gay, and I'm not homophobic, so maybe I'm not in a position to judge.
We have drag shows here in Tucson and also burlesque groups who do striptease, and they are treated pretty much the same.
8 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on February 15, 2009 6:53 PM
No, Mr. Dangerous. I'm pretty sure that Project Runway was developed so us straight people could snigger and say 'look at the stupid little queer' ;-D
This show is just a lame attempt to launch a television channel, I wouldn't take it so personally.
I'd never really identified drag with gayness (sure it's there but, not total), but then my first exposure to drag was in Europe, where Travesty is a cabaret form, not a subset of gay culture.
9 of 16 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 16, 2009 12:31 AM
Darling Twunty, I'm so glad you're recapping this show. I was so hoping someone would take it on.
Mr. Dangerous I'm so sorry this show has upset you so much. I find it a little disturbing to read such strong hate language aimed at a group so often discriminated against. I do understand the urge to hate on a subgroup that you feel is making your own life more difficult. For a long time in Jewish culture the emphasis was on passing as a gentile and rejecting those that were "jewy" as holding us back. Fortunately, with the times that's changing some.
Tvgasm is generally such an accepting site that I hate to see someone's fear and anger clouding their ability to enjoy a show. The drag queens that I know and have known are generally wonderful people and I'd hate to think that you wouldn't give them a chance.
Hugs,
Yenta
10 of 16 | Posted by Yentapatrol | Posted on February 16, 2009 8:34 AM
Twunty, great job, I giggled so hard at the Y.M.C.A. comment ("part of gay culture", LOL!).
Poor Tammie, I'm guessing that she has her retro-queen act down and we never got to see it... but something tells me she is far more talented than they gave her credit for. Unless they picked her just because she has a really big forehead.
BeBe looked so awful this week! I thought she was convincing last week, but that makeup and hair did her NO favors this week, I thought at any second she was going to rip that wig off and take a bite out of it!
I loved Ongina in hair! She was cute! She should wear hair more often (read: all the time).
Shannel, I think, she is cocky, but also way talented, and perhaps she is so used to everybody kissing her ass in Vegas that she's not used to having to compete for the compliments like she is now. I did think she did a great job with everybody on the "Serving Fish" team.
I was also impressed with the costumes Nina came up with, and shocked at how gorgeous I thought she looked with being a little less punky-dory. I could totally see this thing coming down to Nina/Shannel.
I had to laugh as Ongina was attempting to teach her choreography to RuPaul and the other queens... I dunno how she can claim to be a "dancer" when she obviously has no clue how to break down her 'ography into the 8-counts! (sorry, I don't mean to pick on this, but choreography for drag queens is what I do when I'm not writing) When you only have a day to come up with something, it is way better to come up with what we call "stupidography" which means very simple and sharp repetitive moves that are easy to remember and can be hit with precision... if your group nails it on simple stuff like that it can often look much cleaner and complex than doing intricate choreography and having everyone falling all over the place. Still, I thought they did well.
As for Akashia, well, I have met and had to work in shows with many a queen just like Her (In-Her-Mind) Highness... it sucks because I think she could be very talented, but her attitude and her inherent laziness only work to short-circuit the fire she has when she performs. I doubt that she will make it to the end.
Anyhow, that's my 25 cents! Great job, McSlore... :)
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 16 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on February 16, 2009 10:57 AM
Hey everybody, thank you so much for the compliments, it means a lot to me whether you are a reader or a fellow TVgasm writer. (love all your writing, by the way. I am not just kissing ass here. You guys are the reason I started reading this site in the first place. Oh, and the almighty Flipit touched me with his charmed sword and before I knew it, I had an outlet for all that repressed snark)
Anyway, I've been exposed to Drag for a long time. Mostly the Pyramid club in New York and Wigstock. If you came to those early Wigstock festivals and bought a tshirt, I was probably the one who sold it to you. Everyone has a right to their opinion and by the same token, everyone has the right to express themselves in the way that suits them best. If you want to dress in women's clothing and it is your passion, you have every right to do so, straight or gay. None of these queens owes us anything. If they don't entertain you, move on. I have no problem with that, but don't try to make it their responsibility to represent everyone's expectations of gay culture any more than you would expect Clay Aiken to do that.
Thanks again, everbody. Let's live and let live.
12 of 16 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on February 16, 2009 12:29 PM
J-Mo, Nina didn't do the costumes - Jade did. Nina did the wigs.
Anyway, I think part of the charm of this show is that it's so CLEARLY a parody. It doesn't take itself too seriously and yet it's not too idiotic, like alot of parodies.
Akashia was in charge of makeup for her team - and she looked TERRIBLE! I loved Tammie's schtick and wish she could've stayed, but I don't blame her for not wanting to be there anymore.
I was surprised at how off Nina was. You'd think drag queens would have the lip-synching and dancing down.
Right now I'm looking at Ongina, Shannel, or Jade for the win.
13 of 16 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on February 16, 2009 1:18 PM
I apologize, J-Mo. REBECCA did the costumes for 'Serving Fish'. Jade was on the teamwreck team.
14 of 16 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on February 16, 2009 7:12 PM
hutchlover... LOL, You are correct... I can't believe I forgot Nina did all that huge Texas Pageant hair! Silly me! Still, I'm a big fan of big hair, I think it helps to minimize the size of the head, and on some people this can only help the illusion (case in point... look at the photos of BeBe with her big hair from the first episode, and then when they put her in that flatter, smaller hair, she just doesn't look as convincing). Thanks for the loving correction...
love, J-Mo :)
15 of 16 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on February 16, 2009 10:58 PM
Thought I read this recap, but I guess I didn't finish, which I shall have to do, but Mr. Dangerous, do you have to blast us with those views every episode, you've obviously got some strong opinions that you are entitled too, and that you have aired, perhaps you can focus on certain parts of the show that prove your point and snark on them . . . I wont mention it again.
Shanti, it's also aired on VH1, last week at 10 pacific on Tuesday, but I imagine they repeat it copiously . . . I don't have logo at the moment and have to catch it there.
16 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 17, 2009 5:49 PM