And now, for another week of our favorite race!
Before we get started, a few of you have inquired as to how I got my charming surname. To make a long story short, 'tis a term in the Em'rald Isle that denotes a slut so intent and successful in her manly pursuits that the fine lassie is promoted to the rank of whore even tho she takes no coin in recompence of her deeds. 'Tis a surname I am proud to carry and one that must be earned, generation after generation, not simply handed down. I would publish our tartan but it has been banned in all counties by royal edict in the twelth century. It can now only be viewed under cover of night for fear of scaring small children or attracting Paris Hilton to our shores. You are only allowed one STD per annum, disqualifying her, plus our Free Clinics are overbooked as it is. So there it is. I hope I have put your minds at rest.
Back to reality, it seems as though the producers decided to allow Rebecca to write her own ticket this week, stirring up more drama and hatred, at least on my part. You thought I was upset last week? Ha! I didn't just turn purple at the way things worked out, I was positively aubergine! At least I'm not the only one, as Shannel says in no uncertain terms that Jade was beautiful in and out and Rebecaca is NOT. Thank you showgirl, but your delivery would have been even more appreciated if it contained a little more vitriol. That is what is missing here. Real outrage. Maybe next time? Huh.
They all swan into a nearly empty workroom, the tables having been pushed back leaving a large space in the center. In Ru's SheMail she remarks that a great queen once said that "to whom much is given, much is expected." I know that quote from the bible and I think that JFK said something like that once but did Milton Berle ever say it? Nipsy Russell? Maybe it was Dame Edna. Anyway, Ru goes on to say that drag is a sisterhood and sisters are gonna be doin' it for themselves. Empowerment? Giving back? Nope, although that would have been perfect for last week's MAC challenge. Instead, he walks into the room accompanied by five of the butchest women/lady fighters this side of no-femmes night at the Cubby Hole.
We have a new Pit Crew this week which terrifies me and just guaranteed my Merlot order at the local liquor store was about to triple. No gorgeous boys for me to drool over? Why Ru, why? Hmmm. Let me try something.
Maybe if I squint my eyes and back up a bit? Nope, still a girl.
Bebe faints and falls to the floor crying, "noooooooo," echoing my sentiments exactly and we are introduced to our butchies. We have a petite blonde tough girl named Jarrett who teaches Israeli style hand to hand combat and self defence. SweePee is a bald cage fighter, tiny but built. Michelle teaches Karate and is a Brazilian Capoeirista, and both Mia (tall, Eastern European) and Tempele (looks like a tough PTA mom) are boxers. Here's where I close my eyes and pray that they are here to take Rebecaca (henceforth referred to here only as Caca. My recap, my prerogative) out back and beat the bitch out of her. And what is up with bitch's t-shirt?
That smiley face has to be ironic, right?
But no beat-downs are on the menu today. Instead, it's workout time! That gives me an idea. Wouldn't you love a drag queen excercise DVD? Half of it would be sweating out impurities under hot lights while walking the runway and the other half would be sprints in high heels. You know most queens practice those sprints, and we ladies should too. Have you ever seen a drag queen get her purse snatched? Didn't think so. A few have stolen cabs from me, though. Came right out of nowhere (you know who you are) and made me spill the contents of my purse all over Avenue A. It's a good thing I was three sheets to the wind after using up all those drink tickets or there would have been a wigless queen that night on her way to the Meatpacking District.
I digress. The mini-challenge is for the butchies to put the girls through a series of increasingly difficult excercises with the one left standing the winner. This inspires Ru to channel his inner Bruce Lee.
Enter the Drag-Gunn.
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Comments (12)
I won't sugar coat it... not that you would want me to, right?
I am fucking bitter. First of all, Shannel should have absolutely won. Did anyone see Sweetpea's before picture for crying out loud? The other girls were already pretty. To have Caca win was a slap in the face. Sickening. Is this show fixed? WTF?! And Bebe over Ong? Bebe has absolutely no personality and her lipsynch was horrible! She wasn't good with the lyrics and was just waving her arms and hair around as much as possible. Is this a lipsynch contest or a see who does the best baboon impersonation while singing contest? I'm pissed that Ongina was let go while Bebe was kept. That bitch keeps doing the same thing every week. Yes, we know you are from Camaroon. You mention it every fucking week. But can you do ANYthing besides African Queen? We have seen you do Blue African Queen, Yellow African Queen, Leopard African Queen, etc. Yes, it was a difficult decision for Ru. Did she leave the stage because she had to confer with the producers before making her decision? I can't believe she let Ong go. I know it was the wrong decision. You know it was the wrong decision. Every one of the girls knew it was the wrong decision (except Caca who has never had a thought that didn't center around herself). I even think Ru thought it was the wrong decision.
That's bullshit.
1 of 12 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 6, 2009 4:26 AM
Snooty, I am SOOO with you!
Bebe was so fricking over-the-top & that throwdown of her wig, was a copy cat of Shannel. She probably figured if it worked for Shannel, then it will work for her - and I can't believe it did.
Not that Ongina was without problems, but Bebe's lipsynch was such a fricking bad performance.
And at first I didn't understand how Nina & Mia barely scraped by, but after watching it again I realized that Mia looked more like a drag queen than a woman, and that was Nina's mistake. She should've done her "Madonna at 50" look.
Shannel was terribly robbed. Caca's look was boring & blase. SHE IS NOT A DRAG QUEEN - SHE IS A CROSS DRESSER! Drag Queen's perform! Caca sucks at everything.
It was nice to see how Shannel worked with Sweepea & mentored her, while Bebe & esp Caca yelled at & gave attitude to, their girl fighters.
2 of 12 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on March 6, 2009 8:27 AM
I'm sorry but that was the biggest misscarriage of justice since the finale of Top Chef. Caca! Hosea! What is going on with reality tv?!
I will definitely miss my little Ongina and as much as I dislike Shannel, she was completely robbed.
3 of 12 | Posted by BugMom22 | Posted on March 6, 2009 11:02 AM
I was pissed like a motherfucker at this episode! Caca is just bitchy without merit, and I'm hoping she's being pimped now for an extra hard (and humbling) fall later on. Still, I'm pissed that it's all up to Ru, because that means any kind of stupid bullshit can go down at her whim. Ongina being sent home for that was a pile of dogshit, but I was shocked that she didn't dance more during the lip-synch-off... she's always been a ball of fire, it just seemed weird that she didn't pull out all the stops in the face of the histrionics going on next to her... Grrrrrrr! Caca needs to go HOME!
love, J-Mo :)
4 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on March 6, 2009 1:21 PM
Hey everybody, I realize that we are all pissed off but here is your chance to be heard. There will be a reunion show and they are taking questions from viewers. Keep commenting and let me know what you would like to ask Ru or anyone else on the show, contestants or judges. I will pass them on to the producers and hopefully they will address your concerns.
I am in agreement with all of you and haven't really gotten over how disappointed I am. I realize that it is just a TV show but let your voice be heard. I promise to pass it along.
Love you guys! Thank you so much for reading and don't be shy with your questions, I need them as soon as you can get them out to insure the possibilty that they will be included.
Big kiss,
Twunty
5 of 12 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on March 6, 2009 1:53 PM
I'm with all of you, caca can go f off--did the judges not hear her doppleganger's comment about Mean!!! erggg!!! But, aren't these supposed to be top drag queens, and yet they don't tuck . . . wrong!!!
also, BB's lipsync, with the wig rip off, NO-NO-NO , what is the purpose of doing drag if you're going to Man-transform throughout--I ain't buying it!!
Caca--sucka!!!!
But many thanks, Twunty, as for ?'s--I don't know a lot about how Ru got established as the number 1 drag queen in the world, but I suppose and E hollywood story would do the trick . . .
Kisses
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 6, 2009 4:18 PM
I am so fucking pissed that caca is still there and Ong is gone. This is total bullshit. I started yelling at my TV as soon as caca won, and then when Ong went home over BB. Well, let's just say if my aim was better I would have broke the TV.
Love your work Twunty!
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 7, 2009 4:47 AM
I finally caught this episode on VH1. OMG it was heartbreaking when the judges started in on Ongina. I was honestly tearing up. I really hope somebody near and dear to her took the time to comfort her with milk, cookies and lots of shots. I so hope Caca gets bumped this week. Please God, I'll stop saying the naughty words if you bump Caca.
Twunty you are adorable. Thank you so much for recapping these ladies.
Hugs
8 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 8, 2009 7:25 AM
I guess my question would be about judging criteria. This week's results seemed to shock everyone. Rebecca won the competition even though she did the bare minimum to look like a woman (as usual). If the goal was to make over their girl fighter into a version of themselves, then Nina should have won because Mia was nearly her twin! And it was clear a lot of effort went into it. If the criteria was to make the biggest transformation, then Shannel should have won because her girl fighter really was transformed. Does the judging rely only on Ru's personal taste at that moment? Are the other judges there for input or just to be on tv? If there is a second season of this show (and I hope there is), would the judging criteria be changed? Finally, how is the lip synch portion judged? This is the second week where the loser didn't seem to be the weaker of the two. Jade gave a much better performance than Rebecca, but she went home. Bebe just flailed around and didn't even get the lyrics right and yet she won. Does this mean that the most flailing person wins? Does Ru take other things into consideration when selecting the loser?
9 of 12 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 9, 2009 8:18 AM
Snootchy, good questions, and yea, come to think of it, what is the deal with that, besides, Ong could have had immunity from last weeks win, why does it feel like she came out as HIV pos, and then was summarily ushered out the show!!! Was it the no tuck!?
I agree that Shannel could have taken this, coz that was quite a transformation!
I think Jade was toast for a lack of confidence, and because she mimed oral sex on the dance off . . . too trashy for this, and I think, showed a lack of imagination!
10 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 9, 2009 12:51 PM
I hope that the producers use some of your questions concerning the judging because that seems to be everyone's biggest concern. I love all of you who watch and comment. It means a lot to me.
From what hutchlover said, we are in for more heartbreak tonight and, as I promised on my blog, the claws will be OUT!!
I'm going to have to go fuel up with some good red wine so I will catch all of you later.
Huge hug,
Twunty
11 of 12 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on March 9, 2009 2:26 PM
Hello All,
I just want to give this show and all of you props if I may...I am actually a late 20s straight man, single father of 3...I found this show during one of my sleepless nights flipping through the cable and somehow or another landing on LOGO at 3am. Now I am no doubt a Reality TV fan, but I am not a junkie and so I dont love the show simply because it is in the category. I really think it is fascinating to have such a window into a world and a lifestyle that I would really have no way of knowing anything about. Now I am about as metro-sexual as they come and have been commended for my open-minded way of thinking...so to me I see or feel nothing wrong with being straight and loving this show...anyway, I really enjoy it, and it is amazing to me how completely transformed these guys become and the knowledge and talent they have to be able to do what they do...I really do like the show and I am happy I found it...
...as far as Rebecca is concerned, I have not yet seen the first few episodes so my hatred for her is not at the level that all of yours is...but I will say this, as much as you guys hate her...EVERY show has one and honestly, would this show be the same without her?! I love hearing Shannel lash out at her during the commentary, I am very sad that shannel was sent home, while Bebe did do a great job considering she couldnt even get started with her challenge without help, Ongina should have beaten Bebe last week, and this week it should have been Ongina vs. Shannel and Shannel should have one this week...but as with any great Reality show no matter who we love or hate eventually it is down to just one winner so eventually they will all be booted...good thing is that there is the reunion show (which I cannot WAIT for) and I really think that this show was a surprise hit for the Network and will be returning...it was picked up for only a 6 ep season so it was produced with very little funding and I am sure has made more than enough money to warrant a season 2! Guess we will have to wait and see...
Thanks for letting me babble on and on here...see you guys next week!!
12 of 12 | Posted by johnny9969 | Posted on March 13, 2009 6:18 AM