This is it, kids. Our engines are revving, we're coming down the stretch and I can see Ru with the checkered flag in her hands.
We've got our final three and as much as I wish things were a little different, one of them is Caca. The good news is that the judges make perfect sense this time and there is no place to hide a lack of talent or a downright stinky ass limberger cheese personality. Have you ever smelled cheese that's gone bad? I just threw out some baby swiss that went horribly wrong in my refrigerator and it still didn't smell as bad as a certain doe-eyed dipstick's performance this week. I'm pretty sure I made the same face, though. Peeeee-yeewww, girl!
Pepe le Pew got nothing on you, mon cherie!
Soooo, we're off! Once again, the workroom is cleared out in the center when our girls arrive. Caca notices that Shannel left one of her wigs behind and speaking of wigs, did any of you happen to catch the behind the scenes episode? There's an awesome scene where Baby Ong tries on Bebe's lioness wig. It is literally half her size.
Cousin Itt by way of Manila by way of Cameroon.
The girls have a little conversation where Bebe asks Nina if she's ever been in the bottom two, and by golly, she hasn't! Oh dear, I did not realize that until now. Bebe tells her that it doesn't mean that she's any better than anyone else but I have to disagree. I just hope that this isn't some kind of weird foreshadowing of her getting cut first. My poor heart wouldn't be able to take a Bebe-Caca showdown for the win.
In this week's She Mail, Ru alludes to video Divas, herself being the biggest and best of them all, of course, and Merle and Santino visit the workroom for the first time. It is also the first time that they have seen the queens out of makeup which must have been a shock. Merle says that she doesn't even recognise them. Well honey, I'd like to see you out of makeup........on second thought, no I wouldn't. *shivers*
They are there to give them their challenge, which is writing a rap with rapper Cazwell ("I Seen Beyonce...") and learning the steps for the video with choreographer supreme Ryan Huffington, who bears a striking resemblance to Frank Zappa in heels.
You are what you is and you is what you are, and you is just a Mother Bizarre.
Someone tell me where he's hiding his junk in those stone washed cootchie cutters, cuz just looking at them is making me uncomfortable. Can you imagine dancing in them? Did he tuck? Is he some kind of pre-op Captain Morgan meets Debbie Gibson at a shopping mall aerobic's class? Color me confused but I love him. For a little tiny second I thought that it was Ben Stiller pulling some kind of Borat crap but this dude isn't bowlegged so that theory went out the window. But the way he tells them to dance in synch like chorus girls but to give major face so that they stand out is soooo Zoolander. "Live here," he says as he circles his face.
And that is a really good idea since I'm not to sure what's living down here.
Caca lies to herself when she says that she's not a good dancer but she's a good "dance faker." Puhleeze, your speciality involves a slack jaw and a dormant gag reflex. Poor Frank Stiller has to spend most of his time teaching her the steps while Bebe and Nina get down to brass tacks and actually learn them. I have to wonder if this is just a tactic to hog all the attention and play the vulnerable, innocent, naive, needy one. Ben Zappa finally tells her that he can't keep showing her the moves because they are out of time, plus he has to get back to his real job as understudy to the Pirate King in the local community theater production of The Pirates of Penzance.
Ru pulls a Tyra and decides to have a one-on-one luncheon meeting with the three remaining queens. You know the schtick, take the girl aside, ask them poignant questions, let them be vulnerable and then profit off the ratings boost when the tears start a flowin'. Only unlike Tyra, Ru comes off as genuine and ten times more womanly.
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Comments (11)
Darling Twunty,
I swear I clicked on to the Gasm site just as your fab finale recap got posted. Yahoo!!! I'm so glad that Bebe won even though I would have been happy with Nina, just as long as Caca got kicked to the curb. Sigh!!!
Sadly, I have to agree that I don't see any of these wonderful ladies holding a candle to Ru, but sooner or later somebody will appear. This show was such a wonderful nostalgic walk down memory lane, I really hope they do another season.
I am so psyched that you're doing Daisy (that's got a great ring to it, hee-hee). Oh, if only we could still Fed-Ex food you'd have that cheesecake in no time!!
XOXO
Hugs,
Yenta
1 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 25, 2009 5:26 PM
I am disappointed that Nina didn't win. That girl is the shit!! Sweet as can be while still being an unbelievable performer and artist. But... like you said, Bebe is far better than Caca and I think Bebe is a good person so I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry to say that I have no intention of watching Daisy of Love. I hated every single second I had to watch her on her season of ROL and I don't think I could take a show that was centered around her. *shudder* I may tune into your recaps though just for a laugh. Please don't be nice when it comes to the mumbling, arm flailing, meth withdrawal spasming, ball of STDs commonly known as Daisy. That muppet face doesn't deserve nice. :D
2 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 25, 2009 5:35 PM
I am sooooo sad that this season is overI have always loved RuPaul and I was so glad that she was back.
For me, it was ALWAYS about CAMEROOOOOOOOON!! I effin' loved her. Now as a gay man with a fascination for curly haired puerto rican men with thick eyebrows (rather a specific demographic, I know) I was feeling the man, but as Rebecca she left me limp.
Can't wait for Season Two
Oh and can we talk about Shannel? Gurl, get over it. RuPaul was right to let her and Tammie Brown have it.
3 of 11 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on March 25, 2009 6:16 PM
I do love Bebe. She is the regal, diva-esque type of queen that is the gold standard of the tradition, I believe. Plus her crazy-faced side is awesome.
Nina is, of course, less traditional, but I would have liked more versatility from her. I don't think it's fair to judge her by her lack of skill in the English language. Maybe she should have played up that kooky, Charo side of her persona.
Caca makes for a lovely woman if you don't dig too deep (ewww, is that a double entendre). Her face is very pretty and her legs are dynamite, but she just doesn't put it together and go over the top with her look. I can't comment much regarding her personality (don't watch the show), but I guess the bitchy queen is a "type." Though she can't really carry off that great kind of bitchiness that Bette Davis had.
And I'm afraid that dear Shannel just didn't have the versatility. Juggling and showing her butt all the time, gorgeous as she was, didn't make up for her one-notedness and personality.
4 of 11 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 25, 2009 7:44 PM
Pixielated, you reminded me:
I've added "Ai, Loca" to my regular sayings. :D
5 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 26, 2009 4:44 AM
Fabulous recap! I adored your recaps of Drag Race -- let's face it, this is one of the best concepts for reality TV ever. ANTM + Project Runway + So You Think You Can Dance? + an extremely low budget = FABULOUS! Please, let there be a season two!
I was sad Nina didn't win, but sort of had the feeling Bebe was going to win ever since she stepped out in that black and white outfit. Loved it.
Caca - Craptacular. I wish they had kept Shannel. If Caca is the future of drag, extinction is a distinct (stank!) possibility.
Pixielated, how did you draw the Daisy card? I'm not sure why VH1 thinks she is worthy of her own show -- She's about one plastic surgery away from becoming a porno version of the Cat Lady.
Do we even want to see the train wrecks that are lining up to, er, court her favor? I'd be too afraid of catching STDs through the TV screen. I couldn't watch her "scenes" with Bret. It was low quality porn and the girl had a meltdown every five minutes.
Now she gets her own show? Ugh.
Looking forward to reading your recaps as the safe-sex watching alternative. Cheers!
6 of 11 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on March 26, 2009 7:03 AM
Twunty, thanks for all your great recaps! I've really enjoyed watching this show "with" you. Can't wait to see your take on the reunion.
I REALLY wanted Nina to win, but am happy with Bebe. The fact that Caca finally got scraped from the bottom of our shoes is reason enough to celebrate.
Not sure if I'll be watching Daisy or just reading your recaps. Either way, I'll still be getting my weekly dose of Twunty! Yipee!
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 11 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 26, 2009 7:12 AM
Thanks for the recaps! You managed to fit in what those bitches didn't say, and what This Bitch was thinking.
Speaking of NOT thinking, I thank dlisted for pointing me in the direction, I can't paste the url, but query daisy of love, meet the cast, on the VH1 site.
Get ready for monosyllabic STDs! Finally, something easy to pronounce!
8 of 11 | Posted by Reagan Dee | Posted on March 26, 2009 9:02 AM
Didn't watch but the last 10 minutes.
Never was a Bebe fan, but Damn was that girl GORGEOUS is that dress.
Saw bits of the reunion, and I'm sorry but I believe that Shannel HAD EVER RIGHT TO BE BITTER. The judges used different criterion with her and it was obvious. The fact that CACA won the Voguing & the Girl Makeover is evidence free & clear.
Love Ru usually, but she was a bitch to Shannel & Tammy.
9 of 11 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on March 26, 2009 4:49 PM
Forgot to add:
Thanx to Twunty for your fabulous recaps! I assume you know that Season 2 has been greenlit.
Don't know who Daisy of Love is, have no intention of watching. I have my own Daisy to Love (my Bichon is named Daisy).
10 of 11 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on March 27, 2009 6:21 PM
Thanks for your season of wonderfulness and bitchyness Twunty!!! Overall I enjoyed the show, but I thought BeBe was ridonk in the video, she looked crazy eyed and chinless in her dancing around close ups, tho she insists she gives "Face, face, face"
I agree no one can replace Ru, hopefully next season they will change "Don't $#$# it up" and "Gentlemen, start . . . " to Put your Stiletto to the metal--so much smoother, if I do say so myself . . .
It would be hard not to bitch slap Caca if I ever saw her in person, and there's a chance I might, so I'll have to let you know!
Sorry to hear of your Daisy assignment, but me thinks the snark will be rolling off your fingertips! HEART!!!
11 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 30, 2009 4:20 PM