Rufio Sneakers! Public Masturbation! Downtrodden Old People! Pretty rad, right? Boy, do those Entourage guys know how to keep my interest. Keeping up with the split-them-up theme from last week, the guys separate again for most of this episode: Turtle and Vince (nice to see them spending some QT together) are on the hunt for the Holy Grail of sneakers, Eric is doing the studio pitch thing with Ari and Father Time, I mean, Bob, and Drama is finally shooting his big monologue for the Ed Burns pilot. The results? Another solid episode. And what more could we expect from: Rufio Sneakers! Public Masturbation! Downtrodden Old People! Seriously, why am I not running the marketing department over at HBO?
Drama is freaking out about his 2 page monologue. Rightfully so, I wouldn't want to be the one who messes up those pearls of wisdom spewing from Ed Burns mediocre mind. Drama is doing the multiple outfit change thing, while Turtle is busting his balls, which Drama doesn't much appreciate. Turtle tells him not to worry - he probably won't have a panic attack. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MENTION THAT!?!?! Apparently, Drama used to be prone to panic attacks. Turtle apologizes and gives him some pretty solid adviceon how to relax: Jerk off. Why do I have a feeling that this is probably Turtle's remedy for most problems? Jerk off or eat a sandwich, I'm guessing. When he's really stressed, probably both at the same time.
The guys start going their separate ways: Drama is skipping the jerk off to head for the set to meet with THE Jerk Off, while Eric is meeting Ari and old-time producer Bob, are going over to Paramount to pitch them the Ramones movie starring Vince as Joey Ramone (pardon me while I stop Joey Ramone from spinning in his grave).
Speaking of Vince, he is using his immense amounts of downtime to spend some face time with Turtle, who is going to use his Saigon hush money to buy himself some kicks. Sneakers you say? Lame! Yes, sneakers. But these aren't regular sneakers, they are magic sneakers designed by Fukijamas, a graffiti artist who designs one pair of Nikes every year. They only make about 200 pairs a year, and since Turtle is not only a Sneaker aficionado, but an art lover as well, he must have them. Oh wait, no, he's not any of those things. He's a jerk off mooch. My bad.
Ari and Eric get to the Paramount lot with no Bob in sight. Eric doesn't need his Hobbit sense of smell to notice something is fishy here. Ari didn't call Bob for the meeting. Again, Eric doesn't understand how things work in the business. Bob is a legend, he's protected, Ari says. Bringing him to the meeting would only screw things up. This is usually where I chide Eric for being so naïve, but I have to agree with his decision to bring Bob into the loop on this one. It's one thing to be an incompetent, transplanted B&T rat, but it's quite another to be a cockbag. Eric calls Bob and redirects him to the Paramount meeting. Bob may be old, but he knows when he's getting scallywagged.
Ari calms him down, saying it was all just a misunderstanding. Ari is visibly displeased with Bob's presence, however. On the other hand, Bob can feel no pain. He's super psyched to be having a sit down with his old friend Dawn Steele, the head of Paramount Studios. What's that? Oh. Yeah. Dawn Steele's been dead for a year. Bob checks his notes, and also crosses out a meeting with Walt Disney, John. F. Kennedy, and most oddly of all, Harriet Tubman.
Vince and Turtle get to the store where the line is wrapped down the street. Turtle explains to Vince the importance of these sneakers. Vince doesn't see how they are going to be able to get them if they have to wait on this huge line. That is the first phase of Turtle's one phase plan: Cut the line, because Vince is a movie star. Vince refuses, much to the pleasure of the crowd. Turtle can't believe it, but they head to the back of the line.
Drama's gotten to his shoot for the Ed Burns pilot, which by definition and casting is destined to suck. Drama is visibly shaken, and things are about to get worse. Not only for Drama but for a few million people who will tune into "Ed Burns Presents The Brothers McOneNote." Drama's monologue just got beefed up to a nice 3 minute speech; the whole scene is just Drama's face and the lens. Every actor's dream, yes, but also, every viewer's nightmare.
Comments (11)
Love the review.
Not to nitpick, but the second shoe store was in Santa Monica not Malibu, wasn't it?
1 of 11 | Posted by ThereBeNoShelterHere![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 23, 2006 3:57 PM
yeah, it was santa monica. also, dawn steele had died NINE years ago, not one. good recap dude, but i was bothered by the details too.
2 of 11 | Posted by hvac![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 23, 2006 5:45 PM
Not since Carrie Bradshaw has HBO given us a character with a shoe fetish as severe as Turtle’s. BTW, I thought it was 40K that Vince paid for the shoes. Your new TiVo unit is playing major head games with you. Vince, apparently attended the Mike Tyson School of accounting, and should be destitute soon.
I cant blame Jack for blowing his Landau top after Ari gave him the patented Gold(en) shower. That was a disrespectful cock-blocking maneuver that Ari pulled. By next season, Vince may be part of Drama’s entourage.
3 of 11 | Posted by conrad5![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 23, 2006 6:05 PM
Vince paid 20k not 40k for Turtle's shoes, Conrad.
4 of 11 | Posted by damn_gina![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 23, 2006 8:02 PM
I know you gotta have some suspension of belief with TV...but I can't even comprehend Vinnie Chase playing Joey Ramone. Thankfully they've spared us of that. Looking forward to seeing Artie Lange on the final episode. Hey now!
5 of 11 | Posted by btaz666![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 3:54 AM
Umnata, good retelling of the show, but the idea is to inject more comments. You need to increase the snark factor, of which there can be a lot. For example, Ari acted as the worst kind of tool to an established legend in the production field. He got what he richly deserved.
Vince bores me. It must be the point of the show that a star's entourage is there to slowly suck the blood by doing basically nothing, but these guys are supposed to be lifetime friends who are different from, say, Seth Green's posse. Not so much, as Drama and Turtle are a couple of grabby assholes that just want to blow Vince's money with no thought of the future.
As far as Eric goes, he kind of lamely tries to do the right thing but in retrospect I realize his part consists of TRYING, not doing, then quitting to make a point, only to be sweet-talked by Vince into coming back. Vince just seems to be playing the part of a doting Grandpa to his kids' kids.
Having read plenty about Hollywood and those that spat on the face of powerful studio heads, the logical conclusion would be that Vince will be consigned to bit parts in bad TV shows, but I really think his asshole director Billy will somehow rescue him with some sort of blockbuster indie.
Ari, why, you know this snake will somehow survive the shit storm and prosper, especially with Babs at his side. Whatever, the last show of the season promises to leave everyone hanging on the edge of disaster to get us all to come back next season and see how this lame bunch bumbles and stumbles back into prosperity and fame.
6 of 11 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 4:13 AM
Martin Landau is completely awesome.
The episode made me check out the Fukijama website, which is also pretty cool.
7 of 11 | Posted by brilliantmistake![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 7:44 AM
I stand corrected dg. Me doobid.
8 of 11 | Posted by conrad5![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 10:25 AM
Thanks for the recap, Unmanta. I thought it was funny.
I assume Vince will bounce back if there's going to be any more episodes but who knows? While I realize Vince has made some stupid decisions, Ari hasn't been much better. Ari needs to remember that he only gets paid if Vince gets paid.
9 of 11 | Posted by zevonia![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 5:04 PM
what's more snarky than haunting a struggling asian character actor with his RUUUUFFFFIIIOOOOO roots? when i saw him on screen i laughed and laughed and laughed.
10 of 11 | Posted by umnata![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 24, 2006 5:20 PM
I think Umnata injects enough snark into his recaps, given what he has to work with in the first place. This show is pretty hopeless. A whole episode about looking for sneakers and two pitch meetings? Umnata is a genius for coming up with as much snark as he does.
11 of 11 | Posted by Aries![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 26, 2006 9:22 PM