Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! Thank you so much to all of the kind folks that welcomed me back so warmly last week, and for all of your intelligent and thoughtful comments. You're all invited to happy hour at my house anytime. And by anytime, I mean that happy hour is all 24 round this HappyHousehold. But I only serve trays of pills, no appetizers here, kids. Oh yeah, I'm here to talk about Fantasia For Real.

We open to Fanny, and her fanny....

....packing for a trip to New York to meet with her label. It has been two years since she has had an album out, and she is ready to get something released (a.k.a., make enough to pay the American Express bill). Speaking of the AmEx bill, as you may remember from last week, Teeny Weenie decided to break some shit begin demolition on Fanny's pool house to make way for a recording studio. Without her permission. In her house. That he doesn't even pay rent in. Yeah, he's that guy.

This Mensa candidate explains that his vision for the studio is to turn it "from something that it is, into something that it really ain't." (It was really, really painful for me to even type that quote.) The sad thing about the whole situation is that I think he really believes that he is some kind of baller. Just because his sister can sing. I'd almost have more respect for him if he would just come out and say, yes, I'm a tool, I'm a mooch, I'm going to keep sucking her dry as long as she'll let me. Because really, it's her fault that this is going on...she lets him do it. And that's why he thinks he's mothertrucking Lil Wayne. Anyhoo....

Fanny explains she was uber-pissed when she found out about Weenie's foray into construction, but then decided to get over it because "you can't cry over spilled milk." No, but you can beat ass over ruined Travertine, kays? I'm really starting to feel less and less sorry for her the more time passes.

Apparently Fanny and Weenie decided on an $8000 budget. Jigga what? I know shit's cheaper in the south but you can't even redo exactly what he demo-ed for 8 grand, so she's trippin if she thinks that's going to happen. Not to mention this mofo is talking about heated floors and shit.

This begs the question-how does he even get this money in the first place? Don't you have to put down a big freaking deposit to get a contractor out and working? Either the contractor takes dime bags in return for deposits, or Fanny lets Weenie have access to a checkbook or a credit card...dumb, dumb, dumb. I'm really not feeling sorry for this ho anymore.

Fanny then arrives at the J Records studio in New York City. J Records is Clive Davis' label, and is who Fantasia signed with when she won Idol. (They also signed Ruben...are they the record company that offers the prized record contract for the winners? I presume so, but like I've said before, I don't really watch AI, so feel free to correct me in the comments if I'm wrong.) She knows the record company is hesitant to move on an album without a guaranteed hit single because it is their money on the line, but she is still sure of that damn song, "Move on Me."

She and Gayface, her manager, are meeting with Larry Jackson, the head of A&R. I actually take this guy's side in the first 60 seconds of hearing him speak. You can tell instantly that he's been around the block, he's used to dealing with egos and attitudes and bullshit, and if the fire isn't there, he's not having it.

"We've got our work cut out for us," Larry says. Fanny responds, "Oh my god, I'm so ready, I'm tired of people asking where my album is." Larry just nods in agreement, but you can tell homeboy is definitely NOT in agreement.

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Posted in Fantasia For Real by HappyHousewife at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: happy.housewife on Jan 24, 2010 01:06 PM.