Let me be the first to congratulate you on a laff-out-loud-at-5-AM recap. Kenley is such a royal tool! Did anyone else notice her tardtastic song sounded awfully similar to the Pet Shop Boys' "Paninaro"? Except THEIR vapid list of fashion randomness was meant ironically.

Flipit! Wanna come over for a horror movie at Villa LaBiblia Wednesday night? Private me for details.

Besos,
LLB

Yay Flipit - great recap.
Totally with you that while I was rooting for Reco, his collection was a snooze fest. I was expecting more from him (in terms of outrageous design and construction) but most of his designs blew chunks. I did feel badly for him when the judges said (in private time) that he would benefit from a trip to Europe. Well, po' boy from Chattanooga ain't getting there without the win and da money!

Also with you Yarn FTW. Although it was not a true "collection" it was the most attractive clothes out there. Kenley's stuff was nothing new or exciting (and rather drab). JP - well, his stuff could come in handy if you were an alien with extra appendages...

Flipit, you never fail to crack me up - thanks!

My new mantra:

"Unless you've got cookies get the fuck out my face."

Wow. Right. All that stuff I said about the designers not having as much time to get their construction right, yada yada yada? Apparently, I was wrong: It's not a time factor, it's a suck factor. And these “designers” suck. They had tons of time to make these collections cohesive and well-constructed and we get ... retread after retread. These were the best Bravo could come up with? Feather dresses that make me cry for Christian Siriano and chainmial vests that Kate Moss better designed in her TopShop collection?

Bravo, I'm not buying it. I think this is what happens when your talent scouts pick personalities over talent; get some new ones in if you plan renew this show for another season.

And, really, Bravo? I get Betsey J -- a queen, a goddess -- but fashion insiders? Kelly Choi and the housewives of New Jersey? Tabitha the hairdresser? What? You couldn't even get the other Not B from Destiny's Child to show up? How much did you pay Betsey to get on this train wreck? Or did you drug the poor woman?

And, while I am nit-picking the nits, I realize that fashion is cyclical and trends get regurgitated, but the way these idiots presented their collections as if they were the first designers ever pick these concepts was ridonculous. They aren't even the first designers *this season* to use these sort of concepts. Aztec? Done. Earthly Delights? Er, not getting that, but still done.

And Asian armor? Wasn’t there a PR contestant who used that concept? Oh, silly me, it was *medieval* armor. Evs. There is nearly always an armor-inspired collection every fall. Not that we expected anything new out of Kenley.

And “indigenous people wearing Western clothes” is one of the most common runway trends out there, especially in JP's chosen genre. And they are much, much better at it.

Clearly, nothing new under the sun.

And Yarn puts this into action by showcasing her “talents” in her mini-homage to “The Garden of Earthly Delights.” The triptych would make a great inspiration, but the collection didn’t evoke the painting at all. I think she was intent on showcasing all the looks she had done during the show and picked a well-known painting in order to give it a semblance of cohesion. She could have picked any large-scale painting and said it inspired her, though, so I’m not sure why she pick a Biblical one themed around paradise, sex and hell. None of her clothing is remotely sexual or even sexy. For the most part, she designed well-constructed pieces that women would like to wear, though not necessarily the sort you wear to get noticed. Unless the vagina-pockets and extra big butt-bow are supposed to be sexually suggestive? Whatever.

Anyway, cute dresses for the most part. I thought it was funny EyeSack adored her first dress -- the floral shift with the bum-bow -- most. It is most like his style. The elephant shirt dress would have been cuter if it fit her model better (it had the dreaded button-gape going on across the models thighs). I didn't like the rainbow dress, but then, I've never been a fan of clothes that make make skinny girls look wide and the sections on the dress the were put at the "widest" part of model's body. Which is OK if you are Twiggy, but normal ladies shouldn’t go for that sort of banding. I hope if they mass produce that dress, they make it shorter and more figure enhancing. (Though I doubt the Bravo concept's department has it in them to do that.) That said, Anna’s collection had the most pieces I would buy and if that is this show’s imagined point of being, then I guess her collection won for me.

Kenley’s show could have been a show from the 90s with that color palette. There were a couple of interesting looks in this collection if your taste runs to unwashed heroin chic. It was certainly the most cohesive collection shown, a definite mark in her favor. Not so good, again, is the construction of the collection. Ugh. EyeSack hit the nail on the head that the looks made skinny girls look skinnier, but this is partly because the clothes were so ill-fitting, especially those hideous motocross pants. Will someone, please kill this trend already? Do you know how difficult it is to talk a woman out of buying a $400 pair of pants that she saw Kate Moss wearing in Vogue? Ugh and fug and, yes, honey, they will make you look fat. And these particular pants don’t even fit the skinny models. Danielle needs to learn to fit her clothing to an actual woman’s waist and crotch, not the crazy-ass stick insect woman she’s imagined in her head. That woman does not exist. There is no Rubber Girl. Even her models aren’t skinny enough for her and those girls could use a carrot stick or two. And a cheese cake. Kenley’s attention to shoulders is also all well and good, but the construction was so off it was less Asian armor and more Joan Collins reimagined as a heroin-addicted Goth with Twiggy eyes. For the record, I am glad Fern "is over" leather bustiers. I refuse to think long and hard over that because my therapist already receives too much of my money.

Reco made me so sad. The man with the best construction skills put out the shittiest collection because he overthought it. I was really pulling for Reco to do well (especially after the Kenley-crack quote) and he was on-trend with his Aztec idea. Matthew Williamson recently showed a collection that built Aztec-inspired pieces into it, although, technically, Williamson was inspired by a photo of Tibetan children. Many his pieces ended up a bit more "Tibetan children swilling tequila at an Aztec temple right before being sacrificed to Tláloc" than traditional Tibetan, at any rate, which is the industry definition of Aztec, I'm pretty sure. Even Nicole Richie has Aztec-inspired pieces in her jewelry collection. Personally, if Nicole Richie came up with something before me, I would rethink my concept entirely, go for Atlantians from outspace or something, but quibbles. This is about the designer and his aesthetic. Or "ass-thetic," I should say. I'm not sure space-hookers would look any better than Ass-tec hookers.

There were some definite looks in Reco's collection. I want to know what books he was reading on the Aztecs, because, ok, I get the pyramids and feathers, but the color scheme was a bit harsh. Makes me wonder if his research was watching "Ass-tec Sluts Do Tenochtitlan" on slow-mo. The cookie-cutter pieces looked super-glued on and cheap. Even the green coat, easily the best look in the collection, was overdone. The yellow patch and extra wide belt made it look cheap. On the other hand, Fredrick’s of Hollywood might hire him if he make the fabric of some of those dresses see-through.

JP: Wow, the micro-midget thinks he is the second Commes des Garcons, doesn’t he? The Wantanabe wannabe walked a cohesive look down the runway, and there were some actually good pieces in there. Nothing I'd wear, but lovers of the avant garde style will totally go there. I didn't get the dress he picked as his showcase piece. I thought he better ones in the collection. The purse-strap dress was almost cute, in a horribly depressing way. The showcase dress, well, it looked like he tortured the hell out of that fabric. The seams were pulling badly and looked uneven. It didn’t look all that well sewn. This may have been on purpose, I guess. Maybe he used thick, bone needles and yak thread in order to get into his indigenous people wearing Western clothes theme. I guess I just prefer my drapery pieces to be better constructed. Maybe for his next collection JP can borrow Matthew Williamson's Tibetan children to make the clothes next time.

Flipit, you rock for making this hot mess of a show into LOL recaps. Kudos. I can't say I am going to miss this show, but I will miss the laughs your recaps brought.

Sorry about the book. Glenda would probably bite my head off for having too many stories and not enough plot, but perhaps she should try biting the producers of this lame show first for the same reason and for tying Harper's Bazaar to this wreck. Blegh.

J-Pole made me giggle because he looked like an 8-year-old pretending to be Michael Jackson.

I'm really glad this show will be over soon, as I've only been watching it for the recaps.

At least with Project Runway I get to watch Heidi Klum.

Wow, it's almost over . . . sigh . . . all I can say is MORE GLENDA--best judge of the season, with Veronica Webb in the second spot. IMHO.

Jenna, thanks as always for your thoughtful break downs. I have nothing to add, except, I can't believe JP didn't lose . . . is it me, redonk!!! I can see how some of those could be the weird piece no one would wear but everyone would talk about, but there was no body shape to any, they were like shrouds from the ewok planet, on funeral day . . . just ugly, and out there, and the most useless fashion invention I have yet to see, the pillow case hip attachment!

Reco made good pants with a great fit and look . . . thats about it. Aztec doesn't have to be pyramids . . .

I thought Kenely was going to lose from the edit, I was pleasantly surprised by the whole effect being cohesive, even the song, but putting plastic door stoppers on shoulders just looked medical apparatisy (I know that's not a word) and the fit over all were very questionable, she should have gotten some advice from Reco . . .

Anna, gotta love her, she seems normal and sweet, but that collection completely lacked vision. I did not like the pockets on the hips--useless and unflattering. The first dress was meh, and the fabric even meher. Those florals threw the whole color scheme into chaos. I get her picking up things from the show, but exact things, the bow, the umbrella--even that hideous beach towel dress for the normal woman challenge--does she just not get what's being asked!? Can she just not create a vision . . .who knows, she's sweet.

I didn't vote, and the f in' website doesn't even have pics of the lines . . . how are you supposed to vote!? F'ers!!!

BRing on PR, and hearts and flowers, Flip--this too shall pass . . .

I gave up on this show a long time ago but luckily I know enough to enjoy your recaps. GD you are funny flip! The cookies comment,then about dancing around jiggling your muffin top when you are sad, I was rolling! JP's stuff was awful IMO, it looked like his models were painted in gorilla glue then rolled around in the remnant bin. Yarn FTW! Thanks for all the laughs, poor Rico....

What a bunch of ugly clothes! That first dress of Yarn's that they liked so well? UGH! Looked like some frumpy midwest housewifey shmata to me. Good think Kenley's so young -- she's got a lot to learn. I think JP will probably win because he's deemed as "visionary." But I'm definitely NOT buying it.

Frankly, the best thing about this whole season has been your recaps, Flip, especially your Merlin- and Reco-speak." Hee-lare-e-us! Thanks for hanging in there and creating something worthwhile out of this trainwreck of a show.

The best thing? The ONLY good thing about this season has been Flipit's recaps.

thanks so much you guys. you have made this a lot of fun for me. shit tv is always better when you watch it with other people. long distance. and imagine each other's faces. this is getting weird. xo

I can't believe I'm writing this, but Reco was robbed. He at least had one good/ wearable piece in that skirt suit, and I liked his coat (without the ginormous belt) whereas the rest of everything? Suckage.

I had to really study Yarn's first few models, because I thought they were plus-size. It's quite an accomplishment when you can make a girl who's 5'9" and 110 lbs look fat. Way to go, I guess.

anyway, love you Flipit, and at least PR is coming back soon. TIM GUNN!!! YAY!