Okay, awesome recap and I'm not done reading it yet, but I have to take a moment to defend Aeon Flux. Yes, the movie was terrible, but the original animated series was kind of brilliant and timeless and to nerds like me it will never be behind the times.

Back to the recap.

All international conflicts should be settled with a sew-off.

Just imagine North Korea trying to sew a button, while Iran's bitching: "They didn't quadruple the thread!"

Ka-boom!

Flipit, you know I've been waiting for this so hold on to your hat! lol Oh wait... niceties first. Thank you for a funny recap. It is much appreciated. By the way, I am eating the yummiest snack evah! Think fiddle faddle (or cracker jacks) but no popcorn. Just clusters of almonds, pecans and peanuts. Heaven! Flip, let me know if you want any and I'll send some to you. I'm all for helping with the recaps, after all! :p

1. I never really thought about it but Wasshername really does look like she smells of cat pee!

2. Has anyone else noticed that the H.B. gal, Laura Brown, looks like a younger Jody Foster? It distracts me when she comes on screen.

3. I totally don't get the whole scarf fashion thing either. I guess people think it makes them look hip. But, honestly, they either look like Yasser Arafat or like they are wearing a bib. Neither is a particularly fashionable look, imo.

4. Haven drives me crazy. Bitch, you better stop blaming your lack of talent on being from the south. Because I know a whole bunch of hairspray wielding pageant girls who will absolutely cut a bitch! Hell, my godmother was Miss Georgia! There is NOTHING about you that identifies as southern. Sorry, toots. You are just a lame ass wanna be designer with limp hair and bad clothes who watches too much Dynasty. Your name should be Die-Nasty! You claim to be addicted to hairspray... Well then could you at least wait to use it until your hair is styled?

5. And last, but certainly not least, since when can you be a frigging fashion designer without knowing the basics of sewing! It is NOT possible. If you cannot sew then you are just drawing pretty dresses. And you know what they call that? Figure drawing, bitches. If you don't know the basics of construction, you can't understand how fabrics will work together. And you absolutely cannot design a garment without knowing what fabrics will be used. This is the most basic fucking knowledge! Grrrr! And Gayvitz? You are flat out a liar. London College's design degree includes garment construction and pattern making. BUT... they also offer classes that don't lead to a design degree. So either you lied about graduating from there. Or you lied about them not including construction in the course. I'm glad you were voted off, loser. Go try to peddle that shite you produced. I'm sure some loser somewhere will buy it. Try wrapping a scarf around the neck of that bedsheet. It makes it look hip. Dumbass.

Why no, I am not PMSing, why do you ask? But I did just sew frantically for about 40 hours this weekend.

OMFG, this show is awesome... so 2nd rate, cheap, obvious knock-off of Project runway.
Not-B's credentials for judging fashion cracks me up... "I've sat in the front rows of many fashion shows..."... Yes, but you wore House of Dereon (spelling???) for years... I think Issac has been more successful being a cabaret performer than a designer in recent years. When they walk around the room, they don't have much to say. When Tim Gunn makes his rounds on PR, he has thoughful, useful feedback, plus he is not a judge which helps to make him objective. Does anyone else think that Not-B and Issac probably have their hallway critique scripted?
I'll say this- having been to an art school & graduated w/BFA in Fasion, I know now that some schools really don't teach sewing, and do emphasize drawing... that's how my school worked (Parsons, ironic since it's the setting for PR). You end up w/a beautiful portfolio, but unless you have design talent, that only gets you so far. Patternmaking knowlege helps you to understand construction, but generally, most working design teams have patternmakers & sewers to execute that work. If you think of these designers in that context, I guess there's a legitimate complaint about the sewing aspect of the challenges, but shouldn't they have known this going into the competition? Also, what does it matter when their designs SUCK?

Totally love the new moniker....Disappointed Midwestern Mom. He just needs his can of Starbucks Double Shot Expresso and pink snowballs and he'll be ready for the day. The Toothpic Umbrella comment? I knew it looked like something but I couldn't come up with it so Thanks! And Bravo takes care of their own. Unless they charge too much (har-har, snark snark! How true!) Also missbunnyhugs on the one hand I don't know that a person has to sew to design, but on the other hand I don't think someone can properly design unless they really understand fabric and construction. And what idiot doesn't know to double their thread when sewing on a button? That was too much. Of course hiring ten year old Asian's to work in the dark without food for hours at the machine might just be a bit to realistic for this reality TV show. I did see a show once (Dateline?) where the reporter was trying to show how bad it was for the little girl to go into town and work at a factory for ten hours just to get paid pennies, but when they cut back to her home it was one room with the other 11 family members siting in the corners on the dirt floor. When they cut back to the factory it looked like a whirlwind of excitement in comparison, and the girl had just recently earned enough money to buy a bicycle (which probably seems like a Cadillac in their part of India) All I could think was I bet that little girl didn't mind leaving her corner of the dirt floor to go into to town and sew sneakers. Anywho I'm definitely not advocating slave labor but I'm just saying the world is weird.

Flipit, I nearly snorted cornflakes at your hilarious recap. Thanks for calling out Almost Prety - I did not even recognize him at first this week. Midwestern Mom is right on, as are your other "pet" names.

This show should be retitled The Fashion Show for the Visually Challenged. Maybe next week they could try dressing each other in clothes that don't scream "Look at me, I'm different!". The shirt on Underoos with the pattern going in different directions gave me a migraine. Most of the time these people look like a TV test pattern. And would someone tell MexiJay that the auditions for Madame Butterfly are over? There's edgy and there's fug and these people are waaaaay over the line.

I have to agree that having some knowledge of sewing would come in handy, especially on a competetion show like this.

Thanks for the laughs Flipit, look foward to sharing the season with your recaps!

Here are the main differences I see between this trainwreck and Project Runway:

1. The host bitch is not nearly as cute. Looking at Heidi makes it all forgiveable.

2. Isaac's voice is not nearly as lispy as Tim's. But you don't want to beat the shit out of Tim.

3. No one on this show seems intent upon creating this year's cool catch phrase.

As for the sewing thing: you'd think that someone who'd dreamed of becoming a designer in his or her youth would have spend a lot of time learning how to make their own clothing, including how to sew?

Great recap Flipit! You so make my day.

Guess who has a clothing line at Walmart? You guessed it - Ms. Hot Kamali Tamale, and it is hilarious. Theres a t-shirt slash dress slash pajama top and some other fug clothes that are absolutely horrible. I would always wear sunglasses too.

Norma Kamali was HUGE in the 80s. The sexiest swimsuit I ever owned (You know, back in the day), was one of hers. Damn thing cost me like a week's pay, but it was incredible!

But since the 80s, I've not heard of her. In fact, I was surprised to see her on the show. I figured she was dead. :p

"In fact, I was surprised to see her on the show. I figured she was dead. :p"

Judging from the photo Flipit so kindly posted, I'm thinking you're right.

thanks for the awesome recap, Flip!!! It's good to know I'm not imagining things . . . really glad lovitz is gone, he was blowing some serious smoke up their a**es, and it mustn't have been the good stuff, coz she's back on the street in the hunt for Krazy Glue . . . I simply can't believe they liked the idea of the jewelry wrap--imagine going through security with that, and the shoe rack--if it was strictly for closet use, why was it on the outside . . . shouldn't it have gone inside out for that shit . . .

Haven, I think you meant idiot "real doll" and not Barbie . . . don't flatter yourself sister . . . and snootchy, agreed, try styling . . . I didn't hate her coat as much as they did . . . and I thought the giant fruit roll ups on the back of the ski outfit were ridonk!!!

and why have a sleeping bag coat when there's a perfectly good couch to crash and burn on . . . call me crazy, but I too could zip a sleeping bag around me and call it a coat, and mine would have darth vader on it too!

For Soapboxx:
Yes, I completely agree about knowing construction & patternmaking to be a good designer. Even if these dodos couldn't draft a pattern, you can learn about construction by LOOKING AT CLOTHES. I mean, what is wrong with these people???

flipit, I know it's super boring to just write how funny you are each and every week, but... well, you are so fucking funny! I laughed through this entire recap!!

xoxo

I'm not sure why everyone was so excited about Reco's design. Merlin was wearing a very similar outfit at the beginning of the show. Did anyone else notice?

HISterical recap! Thanks for almost getting me fired! I keed. This show is such a train wreck. I gotta have more! I'm loving your nicknames....Gayvitz, NotB... HAHAHA! Underoos almost got green salad with spritz dressing on the monitor.

I can do enough sewing to get by. I'm an expert at straight lines and I make a mean pillow. Even my minimal Home Ec. training taught me raggedy edged hems aren't Kosher. How can a schooled designer send something that looks like crap down a runway? Stitch Witchery is a great quick fix if you don't have the time, Honey. At least you won't have threads hanging and fabric unraveling. I'd much rather tell judges, "I didn't think I'd have the time to sew it so I Stitch Witched it so you'd see what the finished product should look like," instead of "I didn't think I'd have time to finish sewing so I just left the seams undone."

I read these people's bios and a few of them have collections already out! Where? What? How? Seriously, either their bios are full of crap or the fashion world ain't all that cut throat to get into judging by the talent on this show.

I was just reviewing the screen caps and it hit me. Stressed Out Midwest Mom reminds me of Ally Sheedy circa "Breakfast Club."

Just what I needed...good bitchy commentary on this trainwreck of a show.

Great recap! These people are so worth rending to shreds with sharp, pointy teeth of criticism. :)

James-Paul's sketch looked like Cartman to me. OMG, he killed fashion. *yawn* But ninja turtle works for me, too. :)

Flip! you make this train wreck must see TV

Daniella is such a Cee U Next Time.

What's the purpose of feeding someone designs because you don't like what your teammate is doing, and then try to take all of the credit because they got attention for it.