Merlin takes a stab in the dark and gets the Yves Saint Laurent quote right and prounounces Laurent Laur ant. LOL. They just told you how to say it! Focus! Haven gets her question wrong, but in her defense the answer was "Prince of Prints", and that just might have been hard for her to say. She tells us she would have answered correctly if they asked her about Gucci. Or curlers. Or LOL cats.
Reco doesn't know what celebrity Halston designed for, which really disappoints Laura Brown. Liza, foo! He says where he comes from no one knows who Halston is. Dude, Farrah, Cher, and Liza were your choices. Those you should know. It's in your DNA. Unless you aren't really born with it, which doesn't explain his speech impediment. I am getting confused. Focus. Liza.
What's up, Adam Lambert? Can't wait for the album! Are you dating older? Giiiirl!
MexiJay gets his question wrong, and so does James Pole! And it was about another gay icon. He thought Versace dressed Madonna on her 1992 tour, but the answer is Elton John. And James Pole is like totally historical, you guys. Hack! Merlin is doing well and he knows it. His dodo hawk appears. That's like his version of a boner.
Ping!
Kenley gets her question wrong. Wow. Only Yarn and Merlin are left standing. The rest were out after one question! LOL this cast sucks ass. Yarn gets her question right and Merlin guesses Yves Saint Laur Ant again but this time his wacky pronunciation gets him nowhere. Yarn wins! I hope she gets a sweater. Why was Laura Brown even here for this challenge? All she did was make shitty faces and read two answers off the cards in Eyesack's hand. I suppose she's just here to give the brand a face, but frankly, Haaaaarper's Bizaaaah was much more fascinating before I correlated it with the sixty year old Dakota Fanning. Now that mag disturbs me.
To find out what HUUUUGE advantage she's won, Yarn goes with the rest of the designers to the stage. Eyesack tells them that the mini-challenge was proof that the historical icons can't be forgotten. Actually I think it proved that they mostly are forgotten, considering there were only four questions answered correctly and three of them by a fashion teacher. Sorry, fashion history! If it helps, none of these bozos know real history, either.
Since this cast's talent doesn't lie in design or creativity, the challenge will be to knock off a historical designer's dress. Next week they will be cutting paper dolls. Gorgeous dresses are lined up, and most of the designers look thrilled. Haven just looks lost.
The GAP donated nothing. NOTHING!
Instead of just doing a knock off, they will have to infuse their own personality into their work. I predict a lot of ignorant, tacky, open wound clothes. Yarn takes Chanel for herself and assigns Yves to Haven, Dior to Kenley, Versace to MexiJay, and Mad Gres to Merlin. Merlin's pissed cuz he doesn't know who she is and he's convinced that it's Yarn's "strayjeddy" to fuck him over. In Yarn's defense, Fredrick's of Hollywood wasn't an option.
James Pole is pissed too, cuz the Gres dress on display is a big draped rectangle, and he was sure he could turn it into a bed in a bag. No such luck! "Little dat Ana knows", he loves Pucci too, though, and that's who he gets. Reco is left with Halston. Yarn gave him that one cuz he can't rely on his fitted corseted ho clothes. Reco, having no idea who Halston even is, is pissed cuz Yarn took care of her friends first. Yeah, that's called not being a dick to people and then they're nice to you. Golden rule, Reco on Film! Reco on Halston: "I can work wid it." LOL.
He says that Yarn is "juss tryin' ta trow some sald in da pimp's game, but it's gonna fect her in de end." Wow. Can one single fucking person on this show form a sentence? Throw some salt in the pimp's game? Is the pimp even wounded? At the fabric store, Merlin gets Reco and James Pole riled up about the girl clique trying to fuck them over. Day tink day deleecious, bud da boys ah oreegionals! Whatever, Merl. You have to copy a fucking dress. I would say man up, but that's unreasonable. Maybe just be quiet?
Back in the workroom, Reco says that the other designers assume he's gonna lose cuz he don't know nothin' bout Holestun, but he's sure gonna show them! Here's the dress Reco was given to knock off:
Pillowcase with a robe belt. Go!
Here's what he's making:
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Comments (18)
You have a typo in there, Flip, dahlink. Chanel is the one who came up with the little black dress. :)
(now back to reading!)
1 of 18 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 29, 2009 1:49 AM
Ok, finished reading! Very funny recap. Thank you, Flip!
MexiJay was all prep on the top, but did you see the disaster on his bottom half? MC Hammer pants! In what universe do those pants look good? There isn't a body type invented that gets flattered by them. Scary.
Reco's dress was flat out fugly. Not even a saloon ho from 1872 would wear that shite. A saloon ho from the renn faire wouldn't wear that shite either! And he is such an arsehole. He is glad she admitted to giving some people bad designers?! Has he not figured out that this is a competition? Is he borderline retarded, for crying out loud? I mean, I know he is stuck in ninth grade with his maturity issues, but is he mentally challenged as well?
Kenley's look was super hot. I would wear it in a second. I thought Merlin's dress was really pretty especially the pleated bit at the top. And I think that was a big step forward for him. He tends to go so over the top with details so doing something like Mme Gres taught him restraint. I loved Yarnie's dress (without the fug jacket natch). The best thing about it was that the squircangles were white on one side and black on the other so when the model walked, it had a really cool effect.
2 of 18 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 29, 2009 2:13 AM
thanx snootch! xo
3 of 18 | Posted by flipit | Posted on June 29, 2009 2:35 AM
Kenley's outfit was shit on a stick. Badly sewn "Dior" top with wickety-wack pants = judge's creaming their pants!
Wot thee FOCK???
Merlin's was actually the best, but since Kenley is a judge's pet she has to get her weekly asskissing or suffer the diaper rash.
Horrible, just horrible.
4 of 18 | Posted by stillborn | Posted on June 29, 2009 8:36 AM
I had high hopes for Merlin at the beginning of the season. Who knew he'd turn out to be such a limp noodle?
5 of 18 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 29, 2009 9:26 AM
"'What's worse? To not know what you're doing and do it well, or know what you're doing well and do it badly?' That's the theme of the season."
Amen. Good call, Flipit. Wow. You'd think that they would be able to copy correctly, but no, these guys are so trapped in their delusion of being actual designers, they have to go butcher the classics.
Mexijay- Ugh. The bodice was lopsided and he stole that look almost verboten from Giani Versace's Fall '92 bondage collection. He added nothing to the look, just copied a master ... and badly. That bodice is fug. (He claimed the skirt was his contribution, but Versace's collect had leather pleated skirts in it; the difference is he used a pleather lining. It's like a bad Top Shop knock-off.)
Kenley - The jacket had the right silhouette for the New Look, but the Lindsay Lohan shiny pants not-so-much. I guess this lost because they couldn't figure out a way to make the jacket marketable. (They did manage to turn Mexijay's cheap Top Shop knock-off into a cheaper Forever 21 knock-off. Well done, show!)
Haven - If she didn't stop calling Yves St Laurent "YSL" I was going to sock her. Seriously, the designer, not the house, wench. And if you actually knew "YSL" so well, why the hell did you do an homage to him in brown wool? That was hideous!
Reco - Well done, fugliest dress ever! Ha. Halston wants to kick your arse sooooo badly right now, Reco. I loved when the model called it "medieval" inspired. Ha. I like Reco, and but was surprised -- especially after B-girl-gate -- that the judges didn't make a bigger to-do about it. I mean, Angel didn't know a hip-hop term, Reco didn't know HALSTON. He should have at least known the crappy cologne with its minimalist design sold in every Walgreens. Personally, I thought he got off light. I heard Haven actually gave up her spot on the show by appealing to the judges about how hard Reco has worked to be there, but that didn't make it into the final edit (but does explain his sobbing all over her Jackie Collins jacket.)
Merlin - Mdme Gres is going to haunt your arse for that turquoise concoction, but at least he got the details almost right. I wonder if he knew that she was known for the sort of bodice he did? He says he had no clue, but that seems like something that would be hard to pull out of your arse. The Mdme Gres dress they showed on the show was that representative of her style. Strange that he would come up with a detail like his bodice and merged it with the tunic form he was given. Maybe her ghost did visit him and it got lost in translation. I suppose we are lucky Merlin didn't know Mdme Gres better or we would have ended up with some whackadoodle take on her Marie Antoinette gowns and the judges making bad "off with his dodo-hawk head" comments!
Anna - Fug jacket, very cute dress, but let's face it, that outfit was about as Chanel as Reco's was Halston (Reco's dress was long, drapy with with a Halston-esque neckline; the gathered sleeves and corset were big no-nos). Anna's? Cute, but honestly, I would have guessed it was an interpretation of a modern Diane von Furstenburg before I thought of Chanel. She got the black and white right (but the pattern?) and the dropped-waist, but a pleated bubble skirt? Chanel only started doing pleated bubble skirts a season ago when they came back into fashion (again). Dior did the bubble skirt, not Chanel. And that cropped plum jacket? Wow, that is not using your fashion history noodle, Anna. Why didn't the judges give her a harder time of it?
JP - My favorite design. The only designer that truly interpreted the vintage designer's vision into a modern interpretation. It was cool how he managed to incorporate the mod shape with the drapey maxi-dresses and get a hybrid. Did the judges dislike his use of black? That was a bit jarring on a Pucci-inspired dress, but I loved the blouse-top. It had gorgeous movement for the two seconds we were treated to it on the runway. That funky diaper thing is very current (unfortunately, as it tends to make models look hippy, and hippy girls look huge).
Great job as usual, Flipit, making this sad sack of a show look a lot funnier and entertaining than it really is. The judges are really bugging me -- at least Peter Som was a breath of fresh air. Not that they listened to him. No respect. :)
6 of 18 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on June 29, 2009 9:37 AM
The return of the squircangle! I knew you would be all over that....
Also loved your commentary on the audience guests. All I can think is that they must provide free beer in order to get a roomful of people to watch this dreck.
It was hard to believe how little some of these folks knew about famous designers. I sometimes wonder why I still watch - but mostly it's because if I watch it I can enjoy Flipit's great recaps! xox
7 of 18 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on June 29, 2009 12:46 PM
Thank you, Flipit, for recapping this trainwreck of a show! There is no way I could watch it otherwise. So many LOL moments! I also noticed Haven's "Big shoes to feel" comment. I wondered if it maybe just came out wrong but I like your explanation a whole lot better. :)
Love!
8 of 18 | Posted by FieryTopaz | Posted on June 29, 2009 2:34 PM
jennaboa--great breakdown, sounds like you know more than these bozo's!!! Please give us one of these everyweek, K . . .
Great recap, Flippy, and the eye sack grabs keep getting better and better. I'm thinking the hair looks like the heat miser discovered "Just for Men" and "Dep" in the same day!!!
That's moving to hear about Haven . . . I didn't know Ms. Evans could be so kind, therefore, I'll not throw any stones, but you nailed it, Flip!!!
I did think it was going to be FAIL for Kenley when she decided on pants . . . she, and the editors, showed me !
I knew Reco would pull through, and glad to see him served some humble pie. I didn't hate the corset and it looked like a lot of work, but why wouldn't you keep it simple and hope for the best, when the model nailed it with Mid-evil, why wasn't he at least mildly given a clue . . .
Thought it was funny when eye sacks asked Not B in the hall what she thought of the interpretations, and she said, we'll see what happens at the fashion show . . . BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!
Many kisses on your whole face, Flip!!!
9 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 29, 2009 2:42 PM
Flip, you had me laughing again. These designers are pathetic. During the quick challenge, I got almost every question right and I've never studied fashion.
I would be remiss not to mention the following lines that had me laughing so hard
"frankly, Haaaaarper's Bizaaaah was much more fascinating before I correlated it with the sixty year old Dakota Fanning. Now that mag disturbs me."
"Not B tries to help by saying Halston made women feel beautiful. Thanks for that historical detail, Lisa Ling."
"Yarn's model looks like a flapper by night/substitute teacher by day. And her skirt is all squircangles! I never thought I would see that shape again!"
Thanks for the shout-out to the almighty Squircangle!
10 of 18 | Posted by krumblebum | Posted on June 29, 2009 3:02 PM
Laughed Out Loud (internally) at the "theme of the season" comment.
You're right, though. If Reco was kicked off, I probably wouldn't watch. He's the entertainment of the show. While it didn't seem related to the designer's dress, I liked it! I'd rock it at a renaissance festival.
11 of 18 | Posted by NatPatBen | Posted on June 29, 2009 9:19 PM
jennaboa, "verboten" means "forbidden" in German. I don't think that is what you meant.
I am in agreement with most of the opinions and comments shared above. It seems that MexiJay's construction skills have improved drastically. James-Paul should have won. Merlin's dress was also good.
Hated the shiny pants on Kenley's and the jacket killed Yarn's for me. Didn't hate MexiJay's but it was too much a knock-off. I think they were supposed to add their own touches to it.
12 of 18 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 29, 2009 9:33 PM
"Verbatim"--that's it!
13 of 18 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 29, 2009 9:35 PM
Pixelated: Doh! You're right. My computer told me I had a misspelling and I clicked without paying attention. I shouldn't type while eating breakfast tacos; the smell of bacon always distracts me. (I say as I take another bite.)
14 of 18 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on June 30, 2009 5:53 AM
The intriguing bit is that your computer offered 'verboten' as an alternative at all.
15 of 18 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 30, 2009 9:53 AM
Eyesack and Not B are mean. They so do not compare to sweet little ol' Tim Gunn. They come swanning in and have absolutely no constructive criticism. These (for lack of a better word) designers are always second-guessing themselves anyway, and then these two stare at their designs without ONE WORD. Sigh, raise an eyebrow, curl a lip. "Well, good luck. I guess." What's that all about?
16 of 18 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on June 30, 2009 8:32 PM
Itchy, years ago my brother had the spellcheck on WordPerfect give him "cowpokes" as the top alternative to "coworkers," which apparently was not in its library. I always thought that was a pretty funny one.
He was writing a cover letter. It would have been hilarious if he worked well with his cowpokes.(He was a scientist.)
17 of 18 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 1, 2009 12:39 AM
Is Merlin getting manlier? How is he going to win RuPaul's Drag Race doing that? Oh my bad... that's a different show.
18 of 18 | Posted by Snortles | Posted on July 1, 2009 3:21 PM