MexiJay giggles at the stone faced judges about how he's embarrassed to even show them his mess. He keeps a smile on his face. They never break.
Props on the bun, though.
MexiJay, still smiling big, tells us that he knows he sucked on this one and a child could have done better than him. Yes, but could they possibly have smelled as bad? No. That kind of funk takes years to settle in. Reco made high waisted, long shorts and scrubs with uneven trim. James Pole makes even MexiJay look talented. His version of "Vietnamese Trousers" are really poorly made hammer pants. Fug. I hadn't seen hammer pants since the eighties til this show, and now I've seen them like ten times. Guest says that they look kinda unfinished and the crotch is "a little low". LOL. She might have added that the waist is unsewn and badly folded and the legs are uneven, but there's only an hour.
Those pants look like the carcass of a pink person who lost 500 pounds and didn't get their skin tightened.
Yarn wins!! Called it! Score one for pregnant women who still want to look sexy before bed. Eyesack points out that she's the first of the designers to get into Sax, and Merlin looks really happy for her.
I don dreem dees.
Eyesack excuses Guest and Laura Brown and tells the designers that winning this show will be the most important thing to happen to them in their entire lives. That's sad, and most likely true. Then he mentions that Not B isn't there. Hadn't noticed. They all go to meet her on West 29th St, which James Pole describes as a super shady area where no one is dressed well. HAHAHAH. Unlike the cast, who looks straight out of an LL Queen catalogue. Pole is afraid he's gonna get shot. If only.
Scary. How come deez people got no faces?
They see this sign:
In case we can't read, Merlin tells us what it says. "A physic!" Bwahahahah. Reco says that black people don't do psychics. "We go to da preacher man!" I would love to be a fly on the wall in that confessional.
Y'all need to put waist high holes in these partitions. This heah's buuuuulsheeeat. How I suppose to fit my wang through a metal grate?
Not B and Eyesack are waiting for them inside the Physic's Studio. Eyes says that they probably want to know how they're going to do in the competition. I want to know why Not B's skirt looks like it's melting.
The old lady with them is Nancy Stark, "one of the great psychics of our day!" Nancy doesn't believe in hair product or teeth whitener, which makes me wonder if we are going to learn one day that these household items will give us cancer or something. MexiJay gets the first reading and is told that he's going to be traveling very soon. All the other designers are shocked that she could tell he was going home today. HAHA. She assures him that this isn't a done deal and he just needs to be more playful. I don't think lack of playfulness is his problem. It's more a lack of grooming and talent. But thanks. Money back?
MexiJay says that he just needs to tell himself that he's a good designer and he's still a contenda. Never does he stop to think to tell himself to stop sucking so hard. Reco's next. We know cuz he asks "What on erf ih gettin' red tuh happen?" He's scared cuz he watched horror movies as a kid "wif little white girls playin' wif tarot cards and day get all possessed." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. The physic tells him that he has great possibilities as he rolls his eyes at her openly.
Y'all lucky I didn't eat no pea soup.
Kenley is told to believe in herself. How much does this old bitch cost? That's it? Kenley tells us everyone knew at a very young age how talented she was cuz she would sit all by herself and draw instead of building blocks with the other kids. If her personality then was anything like it is now, this makes a lot of sense. It's not called talent, it's called being unbearable to be around.
« Charm School: I didn't catch that the first time. Could you repeat it every five minutes for the entire episode? | Main | So You Think You Can Dance: Chop Chop »
Comments (13)
AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!
Oh, sorry, I was frightened by the "fashionista" guy's face.
OK, how could they not get rid of JP? Or Daniela? Or even Johnny? They were all worse than Merlin. He even tried to connect his design to the tarot card theme of traveling. And his coat was very cute.
I heard that the winner is going to be decided by the TV AUDIENCE! Hahahahahaha, so sorry, Daniela!!!!
I think they were copying Project Runway with this. PR once did a Zodiac Challenge.
1 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 5, 2009 10:35 PM
I really enjoy how the judges are so emphatic about JP "being a designer" and "having vision" when he's clearly a complete mess.
Not that the others are any better. Yarn couldn't be more boring if she were dead (well, she looks like she's been hanging out with Michael Jackson the last week or so).
You can literally see the bugs jumping off of Mexijay, it's like watching an episode of Oggy and the Cockroaches.
Very happy that Merlin is off the screen. He was just completely offensive to look at. Although I'm assuming he grew up without electricity, so the only fashions he knew about were the blankets they dressed the donkey in.
Kenley's Hebrew name explains everything -- bet she was an only child too.
Basically, Reco ends up looking talented by default.
Are they going to do a final collection thing with this show, like with PR? It's going to be awesome seeing the suckage of that.
2 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 5, 2009 11:07 PM
I love this show! Yes, the designers are total hacks, and that's part of the allure. I love Isaac's faces, that bitchy Dakota Fanning chick, and the contestant's weekly butchering of the English language and fashion in both their own clothing choices, and what they choose to send down the runway. I will miss you and your beautiful outfeets, Merly Sue.
3 of 13 | Posted by messystation | Posted on July 6, 2009 6:32 AM
Ugh. I can't believe JP didn't lose. His "vision" needs an eye exam. Almost everything he has ever made on this joke, I mean show, has looked horrible. He needs to quit looking in his head at his vision and actually look at his designs.
Merlin, the most vicious little elf that ever walked the face of this earth (Pit him against that evil leprechaun and Merlin would WIN!), made a very cute jacket. I'm not sure what Fern's problem was. Maybe it was the kilt. I've never actually seen a maxi-kilt. Ever. And on a side note, I would love to know what name is actually posted on his birth certificate.
Daniela's outfit was awful. The skirt fabric was awful. The peek-a-boo top (fashionable when? Maybe 2 or 3 years ago?) was awful. Daniela is awful.
I thought the winning design was really cute but I don't know who would wear it. I can't think of one woman I know who doesn't hate her hips or thighs.
Reco's outfit was great. The piping was perfect.
Mexijay. Hmm. Why would you pair cream (which to me seems more wintery) with a lime green skirt and floral basket? The top should have been WHITE! The basket idea was cute but either the basket should have been bigger or the skirt slimmer. Whatever.
The bottom 2 should have been James and Daniela. Either one could have gone and I'd be happy. JP seems nice, but his designs are awful. Actually, I want Daniela to stay until the end and THEN lose. Drastically. Like get NO votes. That would be more fun.
4 of 13 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on July 6, 2009 6:37 AM
The final collections are already on Bravotv.com
This show is so lame.
xoxox flippit
5 of 13 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on July 6, 2009 6:39 AM
Whoa! Love Merly's Heatmiser wig at the final collection...and the pumps! That shit is hawt.
And Daniella had no business butching about her real life model. She needs to cover up her stumpy little pig legs, rather than showcasing them ina shiny, gold mini skirt. Why can't these people dress themselves? The collections are also seriously fug.
6 of 13 | Posted by messystation | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:18 AM
Thank you again Flipit for instilling humor into a truly ugly show.
I love that the judges booted one of the people who actually tried to tie their design into the card reading. It was at least an effort by Merlin to use what he was given in a creative way. Not to mention, it was a cute outfit, very well-sewn.
Yes, Merlin made sweats. I get it. Quelle horreur! Sweats at a fashion show! Why not? If Juicy Couture can charge $500 for their cashmere sweatsuits, then why can't Merlin walk bloomer-sweats down the runway? And Dolce and Versace have both walked sweatpants down the runway before they launched their sports' diffusion lines. (They both charge about $800 for a set.) At least Merlin's jackets were cute and it was a complete look.
Meanwhile, Pole designs something that would only appeal to an incontinent Nazi nurse with a Victorian fetish. Fug. I'd wear the Merlin's bloomer sweats over that mess any day.
He can blame his crappy piece on his model's hump back, but what exactly does bad Nazi Victoriana have to do with his tarot card? It's more an homage to Immodium AD than his reading from "one of the most famous psychics." The psychic made him shit his pants with fear? If that is Eyesack’s idea of “having vision,” then JP clearly needs his eyes checked or quite possibly replaced.
MexiJay. I am so over this cretin. He has yet to design anything but bad 90s knock-offs. This time its Jean Paul Gaultier's creations in The Fifth Element. What a poseur. Stealing other artists' designs and turning out half-rate knockoffs doesn't make you a real designer, you putz. It makes you the dirty, fly-infested equivalent to Forever Twenty-One. Then again, he admitted in this episode that he loves knocking off Fetherston's designs (I doubt he does this well, considering how light and airy her collections are). I don't think he has an original thought in his head; he just likes to call himself a designer so he can get laid.
Anna. Clearly designed as more haute couture than practical. I would hate to try and sit on the vaginal cups, but at least she made the tarot connection. The dress is cute enough ... if you are a skinny beanpole with no hips. Or rather, I should say it was cute; you should check out what Bravo turned it into. Hideous. The shopping part of this show is a complete joke.
Besides, do you really think Ronald Drag-Donald would wear Anna’s vaginal dress? That boy hasn’t touched v-jay-jay since he came out of one (crying the whole way).
Makes me glad Reco didn't win. His jacket was great and I loved the piping detail. Glad Bravo didn't get the chance to cheapen it. Way to use that thread you were supposedly hanging from, mate.
Daniela. I refuse to call this chick Kenley b/c that girl actually had an ounce of talent. She could sew, for one, and she often hand-painted details onto her designs. Yes, some of Kenley’s work was inspired by other designers, but that is pretty common in the fashion world. Look at MexiJay who hasn't had an original thought yet. At least Kenley did her McQueen skirt well.
Daniela, on the other hand, needs to stop with the see-through tops a la Express circa 1990. It’s done. They did it first, you did it second. We get you like crappy 90s stuff. Thanks for attempting to do a skirt, go back to pants. The entire outfit was badly sewn and horribly fitted and reminded me of something a geriatric stripper might pick up at Ross Dress-For-Less for her Tuesday Night crowd. Only not even remotely well-done. What gets me is she clearly didn’t give a rat’s clean arse about this challenge and turned out badly done rubbish and Merlin is the one who gets the bollocksing and toss?
I'm glad he went Cat Woman on their arses backstage. They deserved everything he threw at them, especially MexiJay (at which point any attempt to convey his ire disappeared into a cacophony of Spanish, curse words and squawks of rage, but I totally felt his meaning. I think.) I'm betting Merlin's heading back over to the "one of the world's most famous psychics" to get a curse put on MexiJay's talentless arse.
This show is a total joke. And, no, Eyesack, I didn’t notice Not-B not B-ing there until you mentioned it. Maybe you should keep her not around.
7 of 13 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:59 AM
LOL, "I doan dreem dees" made me blow a booger into my Starbuck's frappuccino! You owe me five bucks!
If MexiJay is getting laid then I want to see the receipts, cuz there's no way he's not paying for it... I'm a chubby chaser, and I wouldn't touch him with someone ELSE'S dick. Plus, his continual "I don't care/I really DO care" attitude is really annoying and I hope his financial backer gets a load of his slimy oozing about on this show and pulls their support. The world does not need any more ugliness in it. And save the up-do hairstyles for the next pageant you're in Betty La Fea!
I'm kinda hoping for a Yarn Lady win, at least she seems like she can form a sentence and even if she's salacious with her dress form I feel like she's got at least SOME talent.
Awesome job, love to you!
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 10:04 AM
OMG, Thack is now my Urban Synonym for Yak. blech!
9 of 13 | Posted by qupert | Posted on July 6, 2009 7:32 PM
"His original bayst dream was to kill a gremlin and make a cap, but he accomplished that and had to find something else."
I'm still laughing at that one Flipit. I think someone deserves a que, que.
James Pole is a complete and utter hack, but if Merlin hadn't decided he was going to live and die with sweat pants this episode, he and his 3,500 novelty hats would still be in Los Estados Unidos. Still I'm going to miss that little magic man.
A great recap Flipit, and if it were up to me Reco would be giving you three snaps in a Z formation.
10 of 13 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on July 6, 2009 10:50 PM
Just FYI, the Merlin-bird is a Schalow's Turaco. I mention this because I had to ask my boss, the curato of a large metropolitan zoo and international bird expert, while trying not to explain the context of the photo. Congratulations on making a recap totally relevant to my job! Makes biting through my lip so I don't LOL at work worthwhile.
11 of 13 | Posted by danceronice | Posted on July 7, 2009 12:35 PM
Bless you Flip it, but I expected more wrath!!! This is a travesty beyond compare . . . okay, maybe not all that.
Merlin's coat was adorable, I'm sorry, very well done, clever, modern "young" (as they judged), the only thing wonk was the fitting around the knees, tho on the runway, it gave it a "Jetson's" flair. Also, that piping on the back of the pant seemed a bit low and unflattering. I didn't see the problem and thought he might win . . . silly me . . .
I also thought Reco's was hot-hot-hot, the piping was spot on and the swirly top very clever and something I haven't seen before, and for a commercial piece to sell, they didn't think that was more practical than the vagina dress.
I do think Yarn is good, and a contendah here, but that was pure fashion show and not the slightest bit practical, except to give out beers or hold umbrellas . . . . or collect crumbs . . . and yes jennaboa, hideous version on the website--lost every drop of whimsey it had . . . and what a fug fabric choice . . . ewwww!
HOw James Pole escaped death here is beyond me . . . after that travesty for pj's (thanks flip!) and that horrid, no one would ever wear or buy piece of thrown together trash . . . he made that model look matronly, very hot in fashion, I believe. what makes them think he's going to get a clue . . . ever . . . it's beyond!
Ok, so I did peek at the collections, and they do all suck, so it's hard to say what's worse, but Merlin's was beyond horrid, beyond . . . . so all this for naught!
Also agree Jennaboa on MexiJ's horrid contraption . . . smaller skirt, and that top . . . ugh, was it even sewn?!
Thanks again, Flippy, and alas, PR is almost here . . . .
12 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2009 1:11 PM
hey flip,
you know what i've been going through and i just want to say that nothing cheers me up like your recaps!
13 of 13 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on July 9, 2009 6:27 PM