The show starts off nice and easy. Rain whets our appetite with her generous offerings of breasts, neurosis, and "Bitch, I will slap you so hard!" spirit. She's sort of like the evening's amuse bouche of crazy.

As the slut parade continues, Serious tries to convince us that she's a real model. Not sure if doing the Tulsa Auto Show qualifies her as a Tyra Banks-worthy specimen, but she seems to believe it. When hostess Lala deigns to call Serious an "aspiring model," she has some harsh words. "I am NOT aspiring. I already get jobs! What I can't get is a date!" I'm sorry, Serious. The proper term is "tricks," not jobs. Well, actually, depends what sort of jobs she's talking about...

Great.

Red Oyster enters, much to the chagrin of all the women. You see, they all hate her because she ratted out half of them for having boyfriends and husbands and various other secrets. Unfortunately, no one ratted out Red Oyster for being a DRAG QUEEN.

Get the cattle prods ready.

Rain and Red Oyster get into a heated argument over something. Not sure if I remember what about, but it pretty much ends when Rain politely says, "Shut up, bitch. Just she the f*ck up, bitch!!!" Ah, the sort of verbal sparring I thought we lost with the demise of Frasier.

Miss Latin then gets into the mix as she drops a bombshell on Red Oyster: "Oyster. Look at yourself. You're ugly." Can't argue with that.

La La reveals that Red Oyster is actually married. Note the rapture seizing Rain in the background.

Ah, more sluts...

Flav disses Hottie by singing, "Hello my name is Hottie/ I'll blow my nose if it was snotty / if I only had a brain." Doesn't technically make sense, but we enjoy it nonetheless.

Yay! Goldie!

Goldie says that Cherries better stop talking shit about her.

And Cherry says "BITCH I WILL &$&@@$&*&!!!"

At which point Sweetie steps up to defend Goldie's honor...

Exactly.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let the show begin.

Silence. The tranny has the floor.

As queen biatch New York takes the stage, she babbles on about whatever, causing jilted Flav-lover, Cherries, to say something about New York causing disharmony in the house. "You know what? Didn't you leave the first f*ckin' night?" New York replies.

She did NOT just say that!

Oh, she said it!

And she will say it again! Especially from this bizarre position!

And then she'll pull at your stanky ass weave!

New York then resorts to some old fashioned tongue taunting...

...but all it does is just make her look kind of like an alien.

Way to intervene, Flav. TEN MINUTES LATER.

"I got tickets to Ice Age 2: The Meltdown and you didn't, BITCH!"

"I didn't want to see that motherf*ckin' movie ANYWAY!"