Monique tries to teach the girls the joy of giving to others and challenges them to donate their skanky digs to Out of The Closet, a thrift store that benefits AIDS research. Unfortunately for some of the girls the store doesn't have a stripper section where they can resell beaded thongs or other used undergarments. These girls have a lot to learn. Thank God for Charm School!
"I'm the ugliest bitch! No, I am!"
Who is retarded enough to try to resell her underwear? You guessed it, our own little private dancer; Leilene. Both she and her partner in skank, Brooke, verbally confirm with the employees of Out of The Closet that they can't resell anything that has "been worn on a boob or vagina."
I Wonder Why They Don't Want My Crotchless Panties?
The pair who gets the most for their clothes wins the challenge and goes on a shopping spree. Leilene is quite concerned that she and Brooke won't win the task, what with their strict "no skivvies" policy, so she tries to donate two cheap ass rings that were once owned by her dead mother. These lovely trinkets are the only thing left she has from her mother but she is willing to sell them if it will help the team. Leilene sells her mother's memory for $90 and says that she "Knows mom would be proud." I'm sure she is, sweetie.
Lap Dance: $20. Two Ugly Rings: $90. Selling Your Soul To Win This Week's Challenge: Priceless.
Darra and Schaatar pair up and it's a shame the girls aren't selling their shit to "Layne Bryant" or Darra would automatically win the challenge. I couldn't wait for Schaatar to bring out her "Couture" outfits and see what Out of The Closet would pay for them. The dude in charge of buying the merchandise from the ladies declines on all of Schaatar's "couture" because #1 It ain't Couture when you buy it from "Ross Dress for Less" and #2 It all smells like BO! Sweet! I know the girls have been complaining that Schaatar smells but I thought they were being Catty. Turns out Schaatar smells so bad that it permeates her nasty ball gowns. All of her crappy dresses should be tossed into the BO infected car from Seinfeld and lit on fire! Or used to torture terrorists in "24"....
Is That Horrible Smell Emanating From My Ginormous Tits?
Saaphyri and Becky pair up and both bring their entire wardrobe to donate. When Mr. Out of The Closet denies almost all of Saaphyri's crappy clothes she has a mental breakdown and goes totally ape shit. She throws an awesome temper tantrum in the middle of the store cursing him out and crying hysterically. Does her partner Buckwild run to her side and comfort her! Hell, no! She just goes about her business and tries to sell her FUBU Mr. Out of The Closet. Saaphyri literally transforms into a 2 year old and in hysterics blows her nose into a shirt hanging in the store.
This Is What We Use To Blow Our Noses With In Crenshaw.
Saaphyri pulls it together when she remembers that the challenge is a team effort and stops her tantrum. As a final attempt to win she hands over her Ugg Boots for a mere $20. I actually feel her pain here. Those F*$@ing boots are expensive! But it hurts so good that more no five minutes after she sells the boots a random customer from the street walks in and buys them going, "I got these for only $20! What a deal!" A direct kick in the crotch for Saaphyri.
In the end, Larrisa and Shay sell several of their name brand items and would have been declared the winners of the task if Leilene hadn't sold her mother's rings making her and Brooke the winners. Pissed as hell Larrisa goes into evil mode and plants Leilene's family photos under Schaatar's mattress to frame her and have her eliminated.
Go Ahead And See What Happens When I'm Mad.
The set up works and Schaatar doesn't even act shocked when discovers she's been framed! Hello!? Has the dye from your weave leaked into your scull or do you just not care anymore? Monique never actually finds out the truth and expels Schaatar and her partner Darra for the picture thing and also because they really failed the challenge. I can only pray that Monique finds out that Larrisa was behind the whole thing and we can see the Larissa/Monique slam fest we've all been waiting for.
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Comments (14)
Laughalicious, thanks for the recap, hope you bring it for I Love NY 2!
1 of 14 | Posted by slutty_whore![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 22, 2007 1:56 PM
I refrained from commenting on the first recap because it was the first one. I thought, "ah, can't expect a home run on the first at bat" or some such metaphor, but come on. So much hilarity and gold was left unmentioned. How about WHY Darra and Saaphyri were arguing? Or how Shay and Larissa lied to Monique's face about the pictures? Or even how Monique bought back Leilene's mom's rings?
You get one more shot, Laughalicious, before I start...umm...uh... Oh who am I kidding? I'll read anything remotely related to these Flavor Flav rejects.
EXCELLENT use of screen caps, though, your captions are damn good.
2 of 14 | Posted by brendahamLincoln![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 22, 2007 2:16 PM
Monique (oh sorry -- Mo'Nique) couldn't find out whether or not Schatar was telling the truth?
Um, Monique? Not sure if you knew this, baby, but all of this shit is being recorded. I've seen them "look to the tape" on Real World and kick people off for not playing well with others, so I know its possible to take a look and see what's up. Plus, you've got about eleventy billion crewmembers that watched the whole damn thing in real time, so they could probably give you the heads up, as well.
If you're doin it for drama, then just make up a different excuse for kicking off Schatar & Darra, because the viewers pretty much understand that none of this stuff is a surprise to you.
3 of 14 | Posted by Die_MediaWhores![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 22, 2007 3:58 PM
Honestly, WTF? Does anyone here remember when TVgasm was witty?
4 of 14 | Posted by LongHairedMan![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 22, 2007 6:09 PM
I am going to have to agree with the other commenters here...this recap was a little to brief, though the screencaps were great. I see a lot of potential here - it just needs a lot of "fleshing out", if you will. But I always say - any recap is better than no recap, so thanks for at least giving it the ol' college try.
5 of 14 | Posted by goobs![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 22, 2007 7:51 PM
I'm pretty sure the only reason Schataar and Darra were given the boot is because the one and only NEW YORK is making an appearance next week and she hates Larissa. She had issues with Schataar but I think the producers went with the scenario that would create more drama. In fact, I'm convinced all the eliminations up to this point have been based around who has the most drama with New York.
As for the recap, I agree it needs to be longer, Laughalicious try going more in depth with the New York episode cause you know it's going to be a constant stream of drama/hilarity!
6 of 14 | Posted by msu11y28![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 7:13 AM
If there ever was a time that I missed B-Side so...
This "recap" is the lowest form of a recap. Thanks, "LongHairedMan", TVgasm used to be witty, apparently, nevermore.
Can Flipit recap this show?
7 of 14 | Posted by Veronica De Bellegarde![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:06 AM
Laughalicious, I appreciate your recap even though it's short. It's the first recap I've seen in a while that was posted in a somewhat timely fashion. I've almost given up on this site because the recaps are so late. I"m still waiting on the Survivor finale & reunion recap, and that ended 10 days ago. It takes away all the fun if you can't comment on something almost immediately.. so i do thank you. Also, I havent seen anyone else recap this show, so thanks for that too.
8 of 14 | Posted by kerrilp![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:34 AM
Please dear god do not let Flipit recap the last recap I still actually read on this site. I have suffered from his (her?) unfunny personal stories enough. Ruining an entire season of Top Chef is enough thanks.
Yes, LongHairedMan, this site used to be funny and witty and now its B.O.R.I.N.G. BUT, I still thought the screencaps for this recap were funny and had the potential to be a lot funnier if it was "fleshed out more" as some other commenter said. Laughalicious you certainly show promise.
In general tho I think everyone who used to read this site before it sucked (I mean how is it even possible that a ANTM recap can be so unfunny and the Lost recpas could not be more dull and obnoxious) should go to midseasonreplacements where they still bring the funny.
9 of 14 | Posted by gasmgrrl![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:49 AM
Amen, gasmgrrl! I miss B-Side, J-Unit, the whole crew! They've moved on to bigger and better things; hopefully we will see the likes of them again one day...
10 of 14 | Posted by goldeeloxx![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 12:16 PM
Don't worry gasmgrrl, no Flavor from me. But I'll be back in a couple weeks with more Top Chef Recaps. Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!
11 of 14 | Posted by Flipit![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:40 PM
gasmgrll: go to midseasonreplacements where they still bring the funny.
goldeeloxx: miss B-Side, J-Unit, the whole crew! They've moved on to bigger and better things; hopefully we will see the likes of them again one day...
me: the first comment gives the place where to find the two in the 2nd comment! Along with many others! yay!
12 of 14 | Posted by LongHairedMan![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 23, 2007 3:30 PM
I liked Flipits Top Chef recaps
13 of 14 | Posted by sweetleaf![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 28, 2007 10:15 AM
I liked Flipits recaps, too! Can't wait for the 4 star all star competition! Harold's back!
14 of 14 | Posted by IHeartTV![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 29, 2007 5:16 AM