This week, the remaining vapid whores get the Kevin Fraiser treatment. Kevin is a Media Coach and an Entertainment Tonight Correspondent. I suppose that title works better than "Sound Bite Collector" but hey, isn't that the same as me referring to myself as a "Adult Beverage Engineer" instead of "Bartender"? Whatever keeps us from tying a noose, I suppose.

Kevin's Herculean task is to help the girls conduct themselves with poise and coyness during media interviews. Not to spoil things, but I think he'd have an easier time wrestling Mo'Nique away from the kraft service table. Kevin's Bullet Points follow:

Stay on Message: Kevin explains that it is the girls' job to sell charm school during any interviews. Hell, that's why people are interviewing them! Leilene is the first called forth to represent and when Kevin mocks a red carpet interview and inquires about her having been hit with a bottle, her response is "no comment". As Kevin quickly points out, "Now nobody even cares about your new show." Dumbass.

ALERT FROM THE FUTURE! Dateline Chatsworth, Ca. 2008: No one cares about Leilene's new hard core adult DVD "Tiger's Wood II: the 19th Hole" either!

Look for me in the 99 cent bin at "All Night Video!"

Don't Take the Bait: Interviewers are looking for a teaser for their next show. Don't give'em one that will ruin your rep as a Reality TV Star (my new favorite oxymoron, right up there with Moral Majority). Larissa is next to face the music. Kevin brings up the fact that on a radio interview she gave away the ending to Flavor of Love 2. She flat out denies it. He brings out the transcript. She says it's incorrect. She claims it never happened and that Kevin can kiss her ass. Listen up honey. I may claim to be well endowed and have mad skills in the bedroom, but that doesn't make it true.

Damage Control: America loves when you say you made a mistake. This is true. Becky doesn't listen. This is also true. Kevin grills her about her drinking, to which she replies she wasn't drunk, just inebriated. Try this approach with a cop sometime, you'll garner a similar response.

Do Not Loose Your Cool - Kevin mentions the incident when Brooke haucks one on New York. Judging from the looks of Ms. Brooke, I'll bet she hasn't "spit" since the eighth grade. Her stumbling reply is a brilliant glimpse into the future of this episode. In fact, I nominate Kevin Fraiser to take the reigns of Nostradomus for the 21st Century. Why not, at this rate, the only thing future people will have to judge us by is our obsession with celebrity. Does this mean in 300 years scholars will be discussing K-Fed? Probably not. I did say celebrity.

Did he just mention me in the same paragraph as K-Fed? 'Cause if he did...

And so, the girls trip off to a hotel to do their interviews. Interviews run by, Ms. New York! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah! It's on biatches! Oh no you did-in't!...and other such slang terms. Broke (sorry, I couldn't help it) has the first interview. Her reaction can be described in one word. Terrified. Like an Altar Boy asked to stay after mass, she knows what's coming. Please not pedophilia. New York vamps in, sits down, and lays into her. "Have you spit on anyone in the house yet?" She then goes on and gets Brooke to admit she hates Larissa. Didn't anyone listen to the nice bald man? Anyone?

« Recap: America's Got Talent: I Beg To Differ | | Recap: American Inventor: It's All Gonna Be Alright »

Posted in Flavor of Love by Murphy's Law at 2:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: Shaz on Jun 12, 2007 06:08 AM.

Comments (10)

brendahamLincoln :

Vast vast VAST improvement over whoever the hell was doing this show two weeks ago.

Murphy's Law, in the future, so you don't have to give anyone head or do the dishes, wager on whoever causes the least drama. Shay is boring, if Broke doesn't get the boot in the prom episode, she will. Especially now that her butt buddy Larissa is gone.

1 of 10 | Posted by brendahamLincoln | Posted on June 8, 2007 3:16 PM

lexxi1129 :

Ok, the N-word???? Why must it be used even in THAT way? Yep, Ill be reading FOLCS recaps elsewhere....

2 of 10 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on June 8, 2007 3:25 PM

Die_MediaWhores :

Huzzah! I like it when the author hates all of the contestants as much as I do, makes for fun reading.

I'd like to a question about Mo'Nique. What's with the apostrophe? What letter is missing that would necessitate said apostrophe?

AND WHY HASN'T THERE BEEN A MAKEOVER EPISODE!? Come on people, someone has to help out Saaaaphiyrrri. America loves them a makeover episode.

Am I imagining things, or did New York used to be a petite lil' thing with a lovely figure? Now everytime I see her, her boobs have gotten 3 cup sizes bigger, along with her head. It's weird.

3 of 10 | Posted by Die_MediaWhores | Posted on June 8, 2007 6:01 PM

TakingBackSunday :

awesome recap
that last pic of larissa is priceless..

4 of 10 | Posted by TakingBackSunday | Posted on June 8, 2007 6:35 PM

TinkerbellAPixie :

That was a great recap. I loved the intermission even tho it did scare me a little.

5 of 10 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on June 9, 2007 2:40 PM

Jeebo :

Too bad if they made them over into classy looking women, they'd just hate it and find some way to slutty it up :)

6 of 10 | Posted by Jeebo | Posted on June 9, 2007 4:55 PM

Jeebo :

WOW!! my comment actually posted, every time I try to post something it tells me I have to log in to post...but I am logged in. I haven't posted in months!!! Hooray!

7 of 10 | Posted by Jeebo | Posted on June 9, 2007 4:57 PM

TinkerbellAPixie :

Jeebo, they had a problem with Typekey a while back but I think Kronus (the new site fixer upper guy) fixed it.

8 of 10 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on June 10, 2007 8:13 AM

Veronica De Bellegarde :

Excellent recap! Much, much better than previous recapper.

Why the hell was Larissa wearing a pink towel (or was it a blanket?) during the birthday party? Dumbass.

9 of 10 | Posted by Veronica De Bellegarde | Posted on June 11, 2007 11:37 AM

Shaz :

Sooo glad Larissa is gone. I read somewhere that her family is wealthy which, if it's true, speaks volumes about her sucky personality. I agree, Murphy's Law, that VH1 needs to get smart about airing commercials for the next episodes AFTER the current eppy is done so we aren't clued in as to who's going home before Mo announces it. Kinda dumb.

New York should sue her plastic surgeon. I know she's got some nerve commenting on Saaphyri's candy apple red tips with those ginormous towers of teflon inserted waaaay too low on her chest. Why oh why do women insist on getting implants that are too big to look real? It looks TERRIBLE.

I think Saaphyri has a good chance at winning this thing. She did so well at the NY interview that I almost forgave her for blowing her nose into that shirt in the charity thrift store (that was disgusting). I think Broke is out next, or possibly Shay.

10 of 10 | Posted by Shaz | Posted on June 12, 2007 6:08 AM

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