Jenni and Ryan (is it just me or does Ryan Brown remind you a whole lot of Ryan Seacrest?) are in Jeff's office (sans Jeff) and Jenni is applying lip gloss like her life depends on it.

Seacrest tells Jenni that an "A-list" actress had been trying to call Jeff for over a week but Jeff never returned her calls. Ms. A-List called Seacrest instead and he's agreed to take on the 'very big' job of renovating her new house in LA. Jeff walks in and Seacrest is so excited to rub Jeff's nose in the fact Seacrest is doing this big, big, big job that he nearly pees himself.

Jeff's mind is boggled that Seacrest just took the business. I'm not sure what's so boggling. Some actress left Jeff two messages and he never returned the call. Why wouldn't she call someone else to do the job? And why wouldn't the someone else take the job? Jeff keeps saying that he and Seacrest are in business together but I have yet to see any evidence.

As an aside, Jeff claims he didn't call A-List back because he was too busy to do it and Jenni says that A-List should have said "call me right away" on the voicemail. All of this seems like a very un-Jeff Lewis-like attitude if you ask me.

Seacrest taunts and mocks Jeff and seems particularly jazzed about how bent out of shape Jeff is getting. Jeff calls him a starfucker and sends him on his way to kiss A-List ass.

Jeff goes to Duckie's house. For those of you with short-term memory issues, Duckie is the nipped/tucked ex-wife of some rich someone-or-other who hired Jeff to renovate her home so she can sell it so her and her son/boyfriend can move into a new home they can't afford, dodge their bills and live out their May-December romance in surgically-enhanced bliss.

Last week, Jenni (as Jeff 2.0) had to shut down the work site because Duckie failed to pay her bills. Jeff stepped in and paid his contractors more than $15,0000 and is hoping that Duckie will ultimately pay him back. Since she hasn't reappeared since the shut-down, it's not looking good.

Jeff heads to Cole - the Hair Salon Bungalow Colony - and they have to pick paint colors. Now, I know what you're thinking. I've watched them pick floor stains already and it was hardly entertaining so why are you going to bore me with the recap of the paint-picking?

So Jeff is looking for a warm white and is deciding between Pearl Necklace and Swiss Coffee. When Jeff tells Frank of the color choices, Frank does exactly what I did - collapse in a fit of giggles. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with a sense of humor like a twelve-year old boy.

Jeff explains that there is a guy -- a paint-name-thinker-upper -- and sometimes he plays a cruel joke and comes up with a name that is clearly obscene. Now, although I think like a twelve-year old, I also thought it was possible that the paint-name-thinker-uppper really thought that the color looked like an actual string of pearls . . . until Jeff did his analysis. The color is off-white, thick, creamy . . .

The pearl necklace jokes last for a little while longer at the expense of a non-English speaking subcontractor ("Would you rather have a Pearl Necklace or a Swiss Coffee?") and Jeff says he's going to use the Pearl Necklace as often as he can. Cool.

Jeff is on the phone with a real estate agent named "Boni" which I pronounce as "Boney" in my head because I need to be entertained at all times. She has a great spec house so Jeff calls Seacrest to see if he's interested. Seacrest's answers are short and curt and Jeff knows that something is up.

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Posted in Flipping Out by TinyElvis at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: kloewent on Sep 28, 2009 11:02 AM.