Neurotic crazies come and go, but Bravo sanctioned neurotic crazies are worth keeping around: Obsessive compulsive real estate extraordinare Jeff Lewis is back for another round of slamming bricks, tearing walls, and breaking hearts in season 2 of Flipping Out. How the ante will be raised is all a mystery as of now, but at least Bravo has guaranteed us at 12 weeks of the Jeff Lewis Cocktail: 50% Sprite, 25% Self-righteousness, and 25% of Assholery!
"And if they don't have Assholery, then 30% Self-righteousness and 20% Apathy. THANKS."
Season 2 opens up with that signature Jeff moodiness as he's served a phone call from a seriously angry client. Upon hangup, Jeff cries and whines that his reputation's on the line, and smears a turd of negativity on his assistant Jenni. Why the client's so pissed off is unknown as Bravo turns Flipping Out into an episode of Lost.
Class move, Bravo
As Zoila, Jeff's housekeeper, is serving up his breakfast, he reflects on how close they are because of her willingness to stay on board throughout the many house moves. But equilibrium is key, and Jeff doesn't skip a step in pointing out how goddamn crispy the bacon is.
"Basically, like a holocaust in my mouth. Basically."
Probably for fear of deportation, Zoila agrees to make some changes to the next pork cuts. YAY CLASSISM!!!
Right now, Jeff lives in a project on Commonwealth, and is glowing about this house's transformation from ugly, former meth lab to beautiful, expansive home that might have housed Steve Sanders.
Railings brought to you by The Peach Pit
But he ain't that happy: As the LA housing market dips lower into the economic hell that is, um, NOW, Jeff's concerns are mile high -- he's got tons of people working under him and, as prices for homes drop, he's wondering how the hell to make more profit with the houses he's flipping. He is, in fact, FLIPPING OUT.
*HIGH FIVE*
In an effort to make more money, Jeff's decided to do something he thought he'd NEVER have to do again: Remodeling.
A project in Hancock Park is his next endeavor in, not flipping, but real estate cosmetics. It is a historic property that Jeff and business partner/ex-BF Ryan are hired to touch up at $25,000 a month, for however long it takes. While this may be a dream job to some, Jeff's ego is far too large now to work under someone else besides himself -- but when money talks, he is forced to listen under financial pressure. Ryan, on the other hand, doesn't give a shit because it's a job.
A fixer upper.
It was once Dorothy Chandler's home. 4 U.S. presidents have slept in it. It covers 3 trillion square feet. It's a "side job."
Back at Commonwealth, Jeff updates on the employment digs.
Chris (the guy who's been fired so many times even he's lost count) has been promoted from trash man to house promoter -- at no raised pay. Jeff, being the dick that he is, says title changes are all good as long as he doesn't have to pay more.
Next step: Prezident of the Universe!!!!!!!
Steven doesn't work for Jeff anymore. Jeff called it a "civil breakup" because Steve was "miserable" under his command.
Nope, couldn't tell.
Jeff made an example out of Steve's firing, and Chris, probably scared of being the next victim, is taking his job more seriously now. He claims to have had en epiphany in "Do your job the best you can do."
Ahh, adulthood.
Meanwhile, assistant Jenni and Jeff have a really profound exchange.
Jenni: What time do you think I should go from "Good morning" to "Good afternoon"?Follow-up:
Jeff: 12 p.m. The real question is what time you should go from "Good afternoon" to "Good evening." A-HA!Jenni: 6 p.m.
Jeff: No, between 4:59 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.
Assistant Jenni, this is your life.
Back at Commonwealth, Jeff has hired a new assistant. His name is also Chris. He is on the bottom of the Sideman/Bitch totem pole. He also dresses obsessively sharp for the tasks he is hired to take on. In fact, he is a walking contradiction.
Item #24 on "Things Tom Ford Would Rather Not Know About"
New Chris is under Old Chris' watch now.
Ladle, meet spoon.
New Chris is kinda stunned about Jeff's OCD and meticulous craziness about numbers.
"LIKE OMG, IS THIS GUY FURREAL? WHAT IS THIS GUY ALL ABOUT, Y'KNOW?"
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Comments (3)
Your recap made me lol! Great captions too.
I actually agree with Ryan. The down side is they don't have total control -- the up side is it's someone else's bottom line. To me, there's nothing wrong with saying that.
Jeff Lewis is my hero.
(Paula's coming back!?!?)
1 of 3 | Posted by memememe | Posted on June 23, 2008 10:29 AM
I love this show. Thanks for the funny recap!!!
2 of 3 | Posted by cuzimbtyful | Posted on June 23, 2008 4:55 PM
Hugo, you should concoct a real drink based on the Jeff Lewis percentages. I suspect part of the mix includes rotgut vodka.
Thanks for giving me a chance to bust out the lollerskates with your fantastic play-by-play commentary.
3 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on June 23, 2008 7:29 PM