At the Hancock Park project, Jeff feels caved in because he's got no creative say, fending off potential contractors with insistent "NO!"s when they entertain the idea of tearing down a wall. These contractors pitch estimates that don't satisfy headstrong and SUPER intuitive Courtney, the property's owner. Clearly, Jeff is shaking under the management and vast construction knowledge of Courtney. He is a vulnerable little bitch now, actually.
Also, it's pretty awesome.
"Jeff Lewis, I own you."
Courtney hires a contractor on her own, which pisses off Jeff, who thinks his time has been wasted and professionally compromised. Jeff isn't used to working under others, so he's struggling. Think "Rosie when she was on The View."
On the drive home, Jeff and Jenni stop by Starbucks.
INTRODUCING: JEFFISMS
"Is this 140 degrees? I think it's 150. Or 155."
Stay tuned for more Jeffisms.
Jeff, probably after having watched season one in a dark room full of isolation and regret, admits to being a complete asshole sometimes. And though he thinks he's always right, he's now trying to better himself now by dismissing BULLSHIT LITTLE ANNOYANCES LIKE COFFEE 15 DEGREES OVER ITS ASSUMED TEMPERATURE.
Meanwhile, New Chris is slowly getting used to his boss' anal retentiveness. He even says that the only reason he wants to work under Jeff is BECAUSE of the anal retentiveness, but we all really know that he just wants to be on TV. And totally bone Jeff.
New Chris says he "understands" Jeff. Holla if you foreshadow some heavy petting!!!
"Our common idiocy is the escrow to our love!!!"
Bravo filled up some time with a bunch of BORRRINNNNG logistics in a meeting over the Hancock Park project, which just resulted in a JEFF VERSUS COURTNEY opinion-off. Jeff eventually got what he wanted. No, not the shifted course of the universe so that it surrounds Jeff and only Jeff, but POWER OVER THE PROJECT.
Runnin' this shit since 1999, mothafuckaz.
Jeffism, up ahead:
"'Sup, fool."
Over lunch, Jeff opens up to Ryan, saying that "selling out" to remodeling has made him "depressed." Editorial note: BOO-HOO, YOU'RE THE MORON WHO MAKES A LIVING IN A PREDICTABLY FLUCTUATING MARKET, ASSHOLE.
Ryan, also Courtney's bitch, tells Jeff that it's all an issue of ego, and that it's an opportunity to not be punished with total liability. In other words, he's an asshole, too.
At a project near its completion on Valley Oak, Jeff gets that ominous, angry phone call from this season's opening scene.
Angry + Woman + Phone = Joy Behar?
No, it's just Courtney. She's bashing out on Jeff, saying that he's doing all the wrong things, when, just days later, she had green lighted him on total control over the project. If she's seen in later episodes, may TVGasm deem her Courtney the Cunt. Only few are deserving of the title, and she has only reinvented it.
Snark not needed.
One can't help but feel sorry for Jeff. He's pissed. And, oh my god, yes, JUSTIFIED.
From the looks of it, he's one phone call away from quitting -- this should be good. Really good. Who would have thought that REAL ESTATE WOULD BE SO FREAKING ADDICTIVE!?!?! Jeff Lewis, you fill the void of chemically imbalanced TV heads until Paula's back next January.
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Comments (3)
Your recap made me lol! Great captions too.
I actually agree with Ryan. The down side is they don't have total control -- the up side is it's someone else's bottom line. To me, there's nothing wrong with saying that.
Jeff Lewis is my hero.
(Paula's coming back!?!?)
1 of 3 | Posted by memememe | Posted on June 23, 2008 10:29 AM
I love this show. Thanks for the funny recap!!!
2 of 3 | Posted by cuzimbtyful | Posted on June 23, 2008 4:55 PM
Hugo, you should concoct a real drink based on the Jeff Lewis percentages. I suspect part of the mix includes rotgut vodka.
Thanks for giving me a chance to bust out the lollerskates with your fantastic play-by-play commentary.
3 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on June 23, 2008 7:29 PM