This week on the season finale of Flipping Out, we learn a little too much about alternative childbirth.
We kept you next to the fat free fudge pops and Lean Cuisines for too long. Let's get you some chardonnay.
Previously, Chaz killed his pet homeless lady. Today we open with sad music. Jeff has decided that he's gonna try and work things out with Ryan. He wants to see Chloe, and even though he knows he should just stay away and save everyone the pain his personality seems to inflict, that's not what this show's about. So he goes to pick up Ryan and Chloe for a bday party planning day.
Sad music is still playing, but Jeff has already forgotten that soft side he was trying to get us to buy for a couple of minutes and now he's ranting to us about how he can't forgive Ryan cuz Ryan didn't even apologize and he better gd apologize and never do it again! He could turn the other cheek, but that cheek hasn't been properly sanded down and lubed with placenta yet, so forget it. This cheek it is. And this cheek's pissed.
Ryan isn't ready to turn the other cheek yet, either, which of course means: CHEEK WAR!! Jeff said some really hurtful things and he's not ready to forgive him. In the meantime, they will buy Chloe lots of crap. She wants a "jumpy house" for her birthday, but that would open the door to property war between her dads. They should just let her use the tank of lip saline Jeff keeps in the back yard and save themselves some money.
Jeff's version of smiling ear to ear.
They get to the party planning place, and I have my fingers crossed that Chloe asks for an entrance on a helicopter and her own poet.
LOL
The Planning Lady pulls out a big binder of party stuff and Jeff orders as much as possible and pays for it. He runs out of things to buy, so Planning Lady offers a clown who does all sorts of magic tricks. Jeff insists said clown is in the sex offender's registry, and tells us that he believes all clowns are members of a secret pedophile ring.
The Planning Lady is horrified that he just said that in front of Chloe, but he insists that the little girl doesn't understand a thing he's saying. Riiiight. She'll be telling all her little friends the clown is trying to diddle them while she asks the maid for a glass of chardonnay and flashes the adults and screams "boobies!" Jeff has this kid in Tara Reid training camp, and it's reason enough to lift all bans on gay people adopting. Cuz what this world could use right now? More Tara Reid.
Jeff's House - The family sits down to lunch and talks about Jett's new baby boy. Jeff worries that the kid is gonna be fat and he doesn't want any fat kids around. HA. Someone else's happiness, of course, leads him to ponder the gaping hole in his soul and he decides to get a kid before he's too old. Dear God please let next season center around Jeff auditioning babies. Jett has named his kid Mason, and Zoila says "Like Perry Mason!" Love it. And I also love that Perry Mason's fat. There was a line on Mad Men about that this week. "She said I look like Perry Mason." "She was calling you fat." LOL. Poor Mason. I hope he's got some thick skin. The kid Mason, not Perry Mason. He's dead, right?
Buena Park - There's only one more week til this baby needs to be finished, so Jeff is freaking out. You can tell cuz he's whispering about all the problems instead of shouting about them. Sarah, the client, is a perfect fit cuz she basically just follows him around saying yes to whatever he wants to do. He's stressed, but this one's gonna be just fine. They have a lot in common. Mostly in the face department.
When's the deadline on your face? Round the same time? It could use some stairs maybe.
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Comments (4)
If Jeff could just start dating and get over Ryan, then this would not be a problem. After spending like 4 episodes bitching about Ryan, this was a let-down without any confrontation. Flipit, or Tiny Elvis, please recap the reunion so I can have closure to this debacle!
1 of 4 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on October 23, 2009 8:46 AM
Agreed. I wanted to see some screaming. Bizarre way to end it. And I will def recap the reunion. I didn't know there was one!
2 of 4 | Posted by flipit | Posted on October 23, 2009 11:14 AM
Apparently, Ms. Andy Cohen will be hosting the reunion special.
I have to assume Ryan knows what to expect during the reunion, or Jeff will finally have his "proof." However, my opinion is that Jeff isn't over Ryan, Ryan has moved on with his life, and has other priorities that don't involve Jeff. Jeff can't handle it because he has invested so much time in so few people and doesn't really have any other friends. Ryan is drifting away and rather than start dating, or moving on with his life, he wants to berate Ryan into being a part of his tiny world.
3 of 4 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on October 23, 2009 12:20 PM
Weren't they plugging some big tragedy on the previews for the finale? Maybe they were talking about Jenny's party attire...
4 of 4 | Posted by gigirox | Posted on October 23, 2009 12:44 PM