Seriously. I'm a big fan of the crossover - you know, where the characters from one television show appear on another for an episode or two - but I believe this may be an actual emergency. Everyone on this show, except for Trace who only owns a pair of jeans and a white shirt, is in dire need of a makeover, and I think we need a whole lot of What Not to Wear. I don't think it was bad bacon that took Jeff down. I think it was bad fashion.
Jeff and Jenni are starting a new project in Bel Air at Jackie's house. Jackie looks like the sixty-year old lovechild of Donatella Versace and Jenna Jameson and appears to have been used and discarded at an alarming rate. A manchild, who can only be her son, walks into the room but Jeff tells us that this is Jackie's new boyfriend. Got it. Jackie is separated from her husband . . . no really, I got it.
Jeff is running around the house telling Jackie what changes he would make and her lips are so full of foreign substance that they can only form the words "I agree." Jeff is happy to get in, get out and make a quick twenty thousand on this one. He says it's easy money. Famous last words.
Jenni's Metaphor of the Day: The house is like a teenager who needs to lose fifteen pounds and get her braces off. She needs a makeover. Um, looks like everyone does.
Jeff leaves the house saying that he thinks Jackie is really nice but he doesn't want to see her nipped, tucked and implanted other side. Neither do I.
Jeff and Jenni are leaving for Buena Park and Jeff catches sight of Jenni's shoes. He deems them hooker heels and tells her that they're totally and completely inappropriate for the job site. I don't know what hookers Jeff has been visiting but he needs to step up his game.
He warns her to modify her dress code so he doesn't have to implement one. He says this isn't Melrose Place and Jenni isn't Amanda Woodward. Yeah, and it's not fifteen years ago and your pop culture references aren't severely outdated.
They walk into Buena Park to make sure Vlad is still wearing sleeveless shirts and doing nothing. Check and check. Jeff asks Vlad for the measurements on some structure he built. Vlad says the measurements are correct and to trust him but Jeff knows better. He asks Vlad to get a measuring tape which elicits a very audible sigh and a reluctant trip to retrieve the tape. Don't these guys carry shit on a tool belt? It turns out that Vlad was off by eight inches.
And yes, there was a funnier comment than that having to do with eight inches but I couldn't pull it together. I'm off my game.
In order to teach Jenni a lesson, Jeff tells her to get up on the roof to make sure Vlad finished it. First, she spews some nonsense about how her hooker heels will help her spot any hole that Vlad missed. Second, she walks like she has an enormous penis. Turns out she didn't learn any lesson that day except that fashion comes first.
Jeff and his new assistant, Sara, are in the office. For some reason, Jeff is charmed by Sara's bubbleheadedness. He asks her to call Robert about a pool light and she asks if his name is Jose. Um, no, it's Robert. Then why'd you say Jose? Um, I didn't. Jeff finds this to be a breath of fresh air. I think she's a total pisser but I don't understand why he hasn't fired her yet.
They get in the car and Jeff spends twenty minutes complaining about Jenni and the fact that she's more interested in being an actress and going on auditions than she is in working for Jeff. Jeff realizes that the conversation is making Bubblehead uncomfortable and asks if she would like to change the subject. She responds with the seven little words that make Jeff's stone-cold heart melt: Whatever you like. It's all about you.
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Comments (5)
Totally awesome recap. My only issue is the Bubblehead/Duckie smackdown. I think Bubblehead would win the fight but I'm not all the sure Duckie isn't contagious a million different ways, so in the long run, she'd be taking the title.
1 of 5 | Posted by Bremm | Posted on September 17, 2009 1:24 PM
you could have used "I'd like to get Sara off with eight inches..."
2 of 5 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 17, 2009 1:24 PM
You have to wonder if Duckie actually thinks her face looks good. It's that creepy rubber alien face people get with too much plastic surgery. Ewwww! Jenni has gone down a weird road too with whatever she did to her face. I can see it now:
Doc: "Would you like perpetually surprised; mildly amused; or holy shit the kitchen's on fire?"
Jenni: "I'll take perpetually surprised with a hint of does anyone else smell that please. "
Great recap TE!!!
3 of 5 | Posted by FancyPants | Posted on September 18, 2009 6:15 AM
This episode was one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. The look on Jeff's face when the ding-a-ling asked him why he said the pool guy's name was Jose' if it was really Robert was priceless.
And Jett was hysterical, too. Jeff complained that Zoila was mean and Jett just wondered out loud where she learned it. My husband and I both cracked up! And Zoila trying to kill Jeff, but nothing happened. Gosh, the whole show was hysterical. Expired bacon. "Weeks? Months!" I laughed through the whole thing.
And I loved it when Jenni just climbed up on that roof, heels and all. So, there, Jeff.
Great show. Great recap. Thanks!
4 of 5 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on September 18, 2009 8:54 PM
Thanks for the love!
Bremm: I was torn as to who would win the fight. I think her perpetually contagious condition plus the fact that she's made up of plastic parts might actually give her the edge.
Anon: That's a good one! I really struggled. And then gave up. Because, honestly, I'm quite lazy.
Fancy: Jenni is full of botox but I don't think she's done anything else. If you watch her forehead carefully, it shows where they edited a few week apart. This past episode she was particularly wrinkley.
Baffled: I think this show is hysterical too. I can't always put in the funny stuff because it's just straight forward funny and it reads like a transcript. The whole group is serious comedy.
5 of 5 | Posted by TinyElvis | Posted on September 20, 2009 4:21 PM