Hour of Power

rrthanksgiving11-24-05a

If there is any host on the Food Network that I could "get behind" it would be Rachael Ray. There may be women who are better looking or have better bodies on the Food Network, but Rachel seems to be really low maintenance, and that scores a lot of points in my book. It's the Food Network, so everybody has cooking skill, but I think Ms. Ray has a great combination of originality and great taste, and she's not spending so much time in the kitchen or preparing the table that she would be too tired to enjoy other leisure(you have to imagine I pronounced that leh-zhure) activities. To top it all off, she could probably do all of this while she is more than half drunk, which we are pretty sure she might be most of the time anyway. Oh, and she's from upstate New York, so I can't hate on the hood. For Thanksgiving, Rachael put a twist on her 30 Minute Meals to prepare an extra special Thanksgiving in 60. Would the queen of the apple people be able to pull it off? With a little luck and a lot of EVOO, she was going to try.

To make her meal in 60 minutes, Rachael took two huge shortcuts. For the turkey, she used whole turkey breasts from the butcher instead of a whole bird, which when you think about it is not that bad of an idea. Most people fight over the breast meat anyway, so why not spend time on giving the people what they demand? The other big shortcut was with dessert, where Rachael bought an apple pie from the store!!! As you know, I hate exclamation marks, so this really pisses me off. A self-loved apple person who buys the pie from the store? I was making Grandma J-Unit's one crust apple pie this morning while watching this special and so it pains me to see people faking it. Then again, I guess since Rachael isn't the greatest baker, she doesn't want to do her beloved apples an unjustice, so I'll let that slide.

rrthanksgiving11-24-05b
What has two thumbs, small breasts and likes hand gestures? THIS GIRL!!!

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When I have to hide my herbs, I use the false bottom of a Nestle Quik can.

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Did Rachael really need to wear a shirt that further separates her breasts?

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Rachael's rustic potatoes au gratin with cream and parmesan cheese. Or should I say par-muh-ZHAN-o reg-gi-AHN-o!

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It's amazing how she is able to chop so well after that stroke left half of her face paralyzed.

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Gotta give props to baking the stuffing in muffin tin.

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Rachael's people are apple picking people. Also, they're people with an affinity to uncomfortably tight pants and shirts.

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E-V-O-O count: 3

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Rachael Ray makes pumpkin soup. Also, do you think she and Ebert go to the same Bell's Palsy support group?

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You know Rachael couldn't go a whole episode without talking about alcohol. Her tip: hot totties with apple cider and cinnamon schnapps. Can't WAIT for her egg nog.

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I have to admit, Rachael's finished turkey breasts look like they are to die for. Or perhaps you get gangrene and then you die.

You can give Rachael a lot of shit, and maybe you will need 90 minutes to do everything she did, but she had a bunch of good stuff, and you don't have to deal with the hassle of a whole bird- just ask Alton Brown if you need to know how much of a pain it is. I could probably live off that apple onion stuffing for days and those potatoes are something you could make at any time. All I have to say is:

rrthanksgiving11-24-05m
YUM!

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Comments (23)

sadie:

I hate rachel ray....heard she's a horrible tipper too.

cocoa hill:

FYI: It's Rachael, not Rachel.

IndianJones:

mmmm...hot totties. Now there is a solid winter drink.

jennifer:

I always feel love/hate for her. I think I side with hate more. She has such a distrubing quality that I have to watch.
You think what she wears on 30 Minute Meals is bad you should have seen her on Oprah all cleaned up. She looked like a big ole mess.

Kathryn:

I believe the correct phrase is "YUMM-O!" Get it right!!

Don'tFearTheReaper:

I think she's friggin' hawt. She has little boobies but, she has a niiiice Ass.

holyterror:

The stuffing in the muffin tin is truly genius.

But ... I've lived in two of the cities she's covered on her travel show, and I can't believe the holes she picks to eat in. I find myself burying my face in my hands or screaming "GO TWO BLOCKS SOUTH TO A REAL RESTAURANT!!!!" She usually picks tourist traps or freshman traps, so I sometimes wish she wouldn't tell me where she's going, just to spare my feelings.

sadie:

FYI: it could be raychel for all i care

Victoria:

I'm thinking you could have done the Smallville recap instead of this.

British:

Does she ALWAYS flail her arms about?

stephen:

I HATE this bitch! 99% of everything she uses comes out of a can and if I hear her orgasmic exclamation "It smells AWWWSOME in here!" (and, she's only slicing an onion!) one more time, I'm going hari kari. I was unfortunate enough to witness a book signing she had in Seattle and let me tell you, she is a bitch--nasty and demanding. Her Joker-like smile and giggle are all fake.

For those of you who share my opinion of Raytard, check this out.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/rachael_ray_sux/

Yes, it is an entire website dedicated to hating her! YUMM-O!!

KennyP:

How many countries does this woman come from? Every show she claims to be from a different place.

Ali:

she is an awful tipper, and she was a waitress so she sould know better!

KennyP:

Does this beyotch douche with EVOO???

trinitron:

ok - so Rachel is the host you want to 'get behind'?? - ha! But you are either a 'Rachel' person or an 'Alton Brown' person. If you are singing Rachel's praises you must like the sound of an insecure little girl with no tits and a fat ass laughing at her own stupid jokes. (Next time you watch any of her shows I dare you to count the times she laughs at her own inane comments)

Mind you everyone, I am currently typing this post as '$40 a day: Telluride' is paused on my tivo. I hate her, but I am oddly drawn to her idiocy.

From her self-rightousness on 'America's Next Food TV Star' to her perky baby fat boobies, I can't think of anyone who leaves a more bitter taste in my mouth than this food monkey!

On the other side of the spectrum is my culinary leader Alton Brown. A man of science, who will lead the next food revolution. Alton is truly an entertainer and an educator.

J Unit Author Profile Page:

I don't think there is an all or nothing view towards any of the Food Network personalities. Believe me, I enjoy Alton and everything he does, but there are times when what he has to offer is not as compelling as Rachael Ray, especially when you consider the limited kitchen at the TVgasm offices.

$40 a day is a joke, however. For that much, just hit a liquor store near your hotel, buy some good vodka, and go on the Leaving Las Vegas diet.

cones:

A. I hate Rachel Ray but her recipes are easy to duplicate and remember.

B. It's "hot toddies" - a warm brandy drink. Sorry, the bartender in me...

Jen:

i'm shocked hot dogs and mac & cheese didn't creep its way into her thanksgiving feast!

btw - "Does this beyotch douche with EVOO???" was pretty much the raddest comment ever.

cresty mccresterson:

C'mon people, rachael ray is great for one reason. She's her own drinking game. since you probably have to drink to make it through an episode (you know she does) it just comes naturally. She says E-V-O-O you D-R-I-N-K. She says yumm-o, drink. she says "too cool for school" you finish your drink and throw the bottle at the t.v. That way, everyone wins

Kim M:

It's amazing how she is able to chop so well after that stroke left half of her face paralyzed.

lmfaooooooooooooo

Pete:

Omg, I want to vomit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate RR. she is such a beyotch. I want to smash a bottle of Organic EVOO right in her face and stuff her ass with organic cornbread stuffing

fan:

Great another work day shot to hell!

This is hilarious! I love it!

I always wondered why my husband likes this show (I mean she's not that hot) it's because she likes the booze.

I have always said I'm not sure whether or not I like her. One because she seems kinda down to earth but then she drives me nuts with the teetering of buckets of food piled atop her arms to carry waaaaaay over to the countertop 1 1/2 feet away and with a quick twirl around and a step forward .... WHEW she made it! Whoa so close. And the accent is a little gaggy.

Alton Brown I like but after watching him for a little while I thought okay am I really going to churn my own butter to put on top of that oh so perfect baked potato? Probably not. But maybe I just need to chill and enjoy.

Stefanie:

if that was that pumpkin and black bean soup, it's pretty damn good stuff.

if not....umm....disregard.

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