Too Many Cooks....

thanksgiving5.jpgDue to the overwhelming response to the recent Food Network posts, it has finally freed me to truly let my freak flag fly. Yes, my name is EdHill, and I am a Food Network junkie. I watch it all, from Michael “He’s not gay, he’s just from Napa Valley� Chiarello and his amazing lisp (I watch every week hoping he’ll say “caramelized�), to Rachael Ray’s fragile psyche, to Paula Deen's fragile heart valves. I love it all. Who among us hasn’t TiVo’d Everyday Italian just to see how tight fitting Giada’s blouse will be, or hoping we will get a close-up of her massaging a meat product? I am the only person I know of that actually considered ordering the Good Eats DVD’s. So imagine my amazement when they took the top 7 “celebrity chefs� and put them all in a room together to cook a Thanksgiving meal. It's the Food Network's All Star Thanksgiving. Giada’s giant head and hand gestures next to Rachael Ray’s manic insanity? Sign me up.

The concept is simple. We spend about 10 minutes with each of them making a side dish, give one of them the turkey and then watch them come together and eat and pretend they aren’t all annoyed with each other.

The lineup is as follows;

Emeril Lagasse. The worst of the bunch. His food sucks, he’s smarmy, and he spices his dishes based upon how much an audience claps. The only worthwhile thing he ever did was his sadly short lived sitcom Emeril. It’s also fun to watch him slowly get fatter and fatter every year. If you catch a first season episode of Emeril Live, you will be shocked.

Paula Deen
. The queen of fat. We watch just to see how many different dishes she can add an entire stick of butter to.

Giada DeLaurentiis. If Paula Deen stops your heart with a cholesterol level of 456, Giada does it with her beauty. The Food Network hottie, and my future second wife. Who isn’t charmed when she sits at her couch with her legs curled up, with that beaming smile and oversized noggin? And her “Mmmm" face is to die for.

Rachael Ray. The reigning queen of Food TV. One of my personal favorites. Watching her talk to herself like a crazy person on 30 Minute Meals is always a treat. The ill-fitting outfits, her weird laughing at her own jokes. Then there’s $40 Dollars a Day, where Rachael wanders America tipping at 5%. And last but not least Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels where she is forced to spend time with sane people and we watch the horror on their faces as they realize the woman is certifiable.

Tyler Florence. The Brad Pitt/Ty Pennington of Food TV. He is the anchor of Food 911, where he travels to homes with people who don’t know how to cook, and instead of teaching them basic cooking skills, walks them through an elaborate gourmet meal that they will never make again for the rest of their lives.

Sara Moulton.
She bakes. I don’t bake and I don’t eat sweets so she’s kind of an X factor for me.

And finally, my hero, Alton Brown. Yes, he is weird, and yes his anal retentiveness borders on mental illness sometimes (his 5 minute explanation on how to pack a cooler actually frightened me), but I love him. His show Good Eats has achieved "Save until I delete" status on my TiVo. Truly rarified air. The man teaches you about the process of cooking so you learn, as opposed to just rattling off ingredients and measurements. Did you know the five government classifications of tomatoes? No? Well I do, and it’s thanks to Mr. Brown.

So without further ado, here is a brief glimpse of the Food Network All Star Thanksgiving.

We start with a forced goofy opening where they all pick who’s cooking what and then they make their own favorite bruschetta. This results in one of the most disgustingly erotic moments of the show.

thanksgiving2.jpg
Mmmm. So succulent...

And we also get a flurry of Giada hand gestures.

thanksgiving1.jpg
4 gestures in 4 seconds. A new record.

First up is Rachael Ray’s dish. The name? “Orange You Glad It's Thanksgiving Soup.� That pretty much sets the tone. Rachael is wearing one of her ill-fitting tops that accentuate her "chunky ten year old boy� physique. Being Rachael Ray, her main ingredient is frozen puréed butternut squash from the frozen food section. Thank god they didn’t give her the turkey or they’d be eating a frozen turkey loaf.

thanksgiving6.jpg
It's Pat!

From one extreme to the other we then go to Tyler Florence. And nothing says Thanksgiving to Tyler more than a.... Roman artichoke dish. Okayyy...

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Comments (99)

beccs98:

ugh do you know how frustrating it is to be a damn canadian and 1) have our thanksgiving in october and 2) not to be able to enjoy this momentous occasion of chefs butting heads??
the only thing that lets me heal is you miss the neuroses of anna olsen (who has about the same appeal as alexis stewart) and the beauty of christine cushing. suckers.
oh who am i kidding, i would've killed them both to see this.

The Svan:

You're right on. Giada DeLaurentiis is a hottie and Rachel Ray is a stupid whore.

Alton needs to off Rachel and have Good Eats become an hour long.

JoeKickass:

I'm really surprised Raytard didn't chop up hot dogs and put it in her soup. I swear that dumbass takes the leftovers from all the other chefs and makes "meals" out of them. She has the worst body imaginable. Huge hips, no waist, and tiny boobies-YUCK-O. Just thank god Bobby Flay wasn't invited.

plethLaura:

I think Paula went a little overboard with her gravy..it had hard boiled eggs in it. OK you can sift those out unlike 3lbs of melted butter so maybe the eggs are ok.

I love Giada and have a total girl-crush on her. I made her raspberry tiramisu for a potluck at work and was promoted the next week. Thanks G!

Alton is fab and totally reminds me of "the anal retentive chef" as was mentioned before. There was a cartoon in "The New Yorker" titled "The Extremely Difficult Gourmet" where a turkey goes through all stages of preparation culminating in "carefully carve into the shape of a rose". I'm 100% positive this is based on Alton's turkey prep for this show.

Rachel Reheatin' Ray Fan:

Poor Rachel. It might be easy to make fun of her lack of refined culinary skills, tendency to re-heat rather than cook, and less than stellar physique, but...but, well, I'm sure there's something redeeming about Ray that I could put after that but...isn't there?

Well at the very least, she deserves our pity. Haven't you listened to the girl saying how bloody home-sick she is all the time? Try and find an early episode where she doesn't talk about spending her weekends making comfort foods that remind her of home and family. Indeed, there is always a hint of melancholy behind the cheerfully warbled acronyms and enthusiastic head nodding. It's really kind of pathetic.

OK, who am I kidding? "Orange You Glad It's Thanksgiving Soup?" We must get her off the air.

I also have a crush on Giada, which bothers my wife to no end. Oh well.

As for Alton, the guy is great, but yes, a little weird. A few of those insane french chef episodes made me wonder.

lensmanct:

ALRIGHT!!!! Another Food Network page!!

I think that Paula hit the vodks long before Emeril made the slushies. It was bad enough when she put the butter in the gravy, but Jesus!, who ever heard of freakin hard boiled eggs in it? My favorite part was when Alton asked her "Did you just say TATERS?"

Where was Ina???

jojo:

Paula deen is the best. I would never attempt her recipes becauseof the stick of butter but I wish she was my gramma!

jmchez:

Hey! Don't disrespect Sara Moulton. She may be charismatically challenged but she is very nice and her meals are surprisingly easy to replicate.

Alton? Well, he just has the best darn cooking show on the planet. Comedy, science, history and cooking (eventually). It doesn't get any better. I thought of buying his DVDs until I found all of the shows (somewhere that rhymes with current). The only thing I lack is an index to see where he mentions what ingredient or technique.

I don't think that Giada has a big head. It's just an oprtical illusion caused by her immense teeth. When she grins it's like the Joker coming at you. Nevertheless, I'll admit that whe she massaged, really massaged, really really massaged her turkey (I'll massage her turkey) I almost... You don't need to know.

Whew! I'm glad that I wasn't the only one who thought Michael Chiarello was gay. It came as a shock to me when he mentioned his wife and kids once.

EdHill:

jmchez, I have nothing against Sara. I just dont bake, or eat baked goods, so I've never really watched her show.

Dont get me wrong, I eat. I am currently tiping the scales at a nice 874 pounds (see me next week on Springer as they cut a hole in the wall of my house so I can finally pee in a toilet).

Alton really is the bomb. He did a one hour special on salt that was amazing. And thats not a joke. Even Sg-dub had to give him props for that.

And another thing I noticed about Giadas huge smile is that its oddly rectangular.

And I actually enjoy Rachael Ray. shes more of a "low class" cook. And to be honest, as much as I'd love to pan roast native artchokes in a saffron bechamel sauce, I just dont always find the time. SO you need a good "from a jar" girl who can tell you how to spice up the menu of a single guy on the go.

And racheal Ray fan (#5), I heard shes engaged. I have a bounty out for anyone who can get me a picture of that poor soul.

EdHill:

Oh, and jmchez, that Giada turkey massage you speak of. I was this close of posting a video clip of it but figured it was too X rated.

Rachael Reheatin' Ray Fan:

I’m here to claim your bounty, Mr. Hill.

It is I, RRRFan, and I have uncovered the picture of the man you described as “that poor soul� to whom our beloved Ray is betrothed or, at this point, probably wed.

The picture can be found here:
http://merrimusings.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/rachaeljohn.jpg

It depicts Ray simultaneously feeding and head-butting her fiancé, John Cusimano. John, clearly terrified, has closed his eyes and is shoving a dessert plate at Rachael’s chest in a feeble show of self-defense. While at least one of the parties looks very much in love, I think John's head size would make him and Giada a better match.

stacy:

Awesome recap, EdHill! i'm kicking myself for missing the show :( and for the record people, rachael ray and that john guy got married in sept. so i guess he really likes her boyish figure...

jmchez - www.goodeatsfanpage.com has a listing of every good eats episode, indexed by season and name(s) (i.e. berry from another planet is also called deep purple). I met Alton at a signing/demo thing where he was hawking GE products (he co-designed some stuff after calling to ask them if they sold jet engines small enough for use as a grill) and I must say he's way taller in person than he looks on TV (-:

holyterror:

When ever Giada bares her eerily white teeth and gushes about some favorite ingredient, I'm always reminded of Dracula's pal Renfield saying "niiiice, juicy, SPIIIIIDERS!!"

holyterror:

Based on a strong resemblance around the teeth, I think Lon Chaney might be the DeLaurentiis girls' long-lost father:

http://home.blarg.net/~dr_z/Movie/Posters/Reproductions/LonChaney_Rep.html

deb:

I saw last night where alton made a dish blindfolded. could've only been better if he'd missed the bowl!

cocoa hill:

Quick! Turn on CBS's Sunday Morning show right now--Rachael is about to be profiled!

Ross Kimbrough:

The main problem I have with Rachel Ray is her need to say E-V-O-O (extra virgin olive oil) four times during every broadcast.

Lauren:

Alton Brown is my hero. Thank you for appreciating his goodness. More FoodTV! And right on with Rachel Ray. I have always wondered who the hell let her on TV looking like that. I'm going to go search for another airing of this to Tivo RIGHT NOW.

Michelle:

I love Rachael Ray, but I totally agree with you, Ross Kimbrough. If I hear E V O O or Yum-O one more time...

And thank you, thank you, thank you!! for doing a recap on a Food Network show! I watch that network like someone else would watch ABC, NBC or CBS. I'm completely addicted and no one else in my family seems to share my enthusiasm so I've become a sort of closeted Food Network freak. Oh! And I also thought Michael Chiarello was gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Roy:

There is a picture of Rachel Ray's husband in her new magazine out on newstands. My wife and I had to buy it to see if Rachel was as annoying in print as she is on her show. Was she? Oh yeah. By the way, she offers you the opportunity to buy your very own Yum-O or EVOO T-shirt.

holyterror:

EdHill, I hope you saw Giada licking a big, white, creamy wad of meringue off her finger and making her "yummy" face on Behind The Bash.

Bobbie:

Don't you all love Alton Brown's homage to Janice Dickinson in that opening shot? And notice that Emeril and Rachel aren't getting all Omarosa-y over it...

ha!:

Yummm.. butter and gravy and pudding....

(Sorry, local humor) :)

ha!

EdHill:

holyterror, I saw that clip you speak of just last night. I also enjoyed Michael AMdsens creepy come ones when he saw her.

Rachel Ray has her own magazine?!?

Plus I had to go look up Paula's Giblet Gravy recipe to see exactly how much butter she put in it -- but there is no butter in that recipe (why the hell she put an egg in it is a real good question):

Giblets from turkey (liver, heart, gizzard, and neck), cooked
4 cups turkey stock or broth or chicken broth or stock
2 chicken bouillon cubes
2 teaspoons poultry seasoning
2 heaping tablespoons reserved uncooked cornbread stuffing mix
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/3 cup cold water
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 hard boiled egg, sliced

Chop the giblets and the meat that has been removed from the neck. Using a saucepot, bring the stock to a boil. Add the giblets, bouillon cubes, poultry seasoning, and raw stuffing to the mixture.
In a separate bowl, mix the cornstarch and water, and add to the boiling stock, stirring constantly. Reduce the heat and continue to cook for 2 to 3 minutes. Add the salt and pepper, to taste, and add the sliced boiled egg.

Jersey:

I also thought Michael Chiarello was gay. I think the wife and kids are a beard. One tell-tale sign: Has anyone ever noticed how he always refers to food products as "these guys"? "let's get these guys in the oven", "Let's wash these guys really good" "Just put some gray salt and pepper on these guys and rub it all over" hmmmm....

mac:

Y'all do know, dontcha, that this episode is at least a year old. In other words---it's a repeat!
So, as to the Janice Dickerson homage---don't think so. Maybe she copied Alton.

Anonymous:

rachel ray kicks ass. shes such a sweetheart so stop talking smack!

jesse:

Down South, all giblet gravy has hard boiled eggs in it. You should try it.

aeb:

i have to admit, i am sad that they didn't have sandra dee from semi-homemade on. she makes the best presentations.

i heart paula deen. that's all that can be said. except, where the hiz-ay was mark summers? i am SURE he has some wonderful story about why we have gravy or something.

Misty:

Our dear Rachael is now married - herself, the fiance, their families, and 100 of their closest friends were jetted off to Italy for the big shindig. (I'm almost ashamed that I know this.)

Alton Brown is awesome, and that's all there is to it. This year, for the first time ever, I have to cook the turkey for Thanksgiving, and after watching his show this weekend all about how to cook them, I have 100% confidence that my turkey will rock the casbah.

cruella_deville:

ALTON RULES!!!!! Damn, I am so friggin' sorry I missed this! I say we put Emeril and Rachel in a cage-match kitchen set and see who spontaneously combusts from the ego and self-referencing-talking-to-themselves. THAT would be an Iron Chef to never forget!!!

J Unit Author Profile Page:

I like Rachel Ray, maybe because I also grew up in upstate New York. Then there's the voice. It may chafe a lot of people, but I'll never complain.

I love Alton because he invites anthropologists on his show. He should be a blogger.

rachelrules:

You have to be evil, soul-less, god-less, destroyer of all things good - to not HEART Rachel. What is wrong with you People?

She's Awesome.

DJ99:

I found this site the other day and the first thing I read was the Food Network thing. I got to work early ready to stress out and instead spent 15 minutes laughing out loud. I am a closet Food Network junkie.

I read in Men's Health a few weeks back that the food network host men would most like to sleep with was Rachel Ray. She can cook quick and all, but I think I would rather do Paula!

Aries:

I too was sorry that Sandra Lee wasn't invited. Not that I think she has a great presentation style, but I would have liked to have seen what disgusting dish made entirely out of processed foods she would have brought.

lindy:

I hate Giada, she wouldn't know real italian food if it bit her in the ass. She is can't say italian words, she can't cook italian food and she is uglier than sin. The only people I like on Food Network are Alton and Tyler.

I need to see this special, I'm gonna find a re-run! :D

you don't know:

#5...Something redeeming about Ray-Ray you ask? She coined the term "evoo!" C'mon! It was so cumbersome saying "extra virgin olive oil." It takes a 30 minute meal down to 29.5 at least. If Ray-Ray rides off into the sunset on her Vespa, we'll have to carry the torch by keeping that term in the lexicon.

holyterror:

Oh, c'mon, Lindy -- Giada's by far the hottest midget at the fruit market.

Wash your mouth out with spa-GEE-ti!!

EdHill Author Profile Page:

For those interested, I beleive the show repeats this wednesday.

Panic:

If you are in or near Savannah, Georgia go to Paula's restaurant. You will not be disappointed. Yes, everything is fried with some animal by-product, but it shore is tasty!!

http://www.ladyandsons.com/

Page:

I did enjoy the show, and fast forwarded over Ray. Her voice is grating.

I do plan on making the crisp green beans for Turkey day as well as the garlic mashed potatoes.

And yes my mother is from the south and has always put boiled eggs in the giblet gravy, as well as in her oyster cornbread dressing.

I would not admit it to her, but I prefer my mother in laws bread dressing. Sorry mom.

Aim:

Jesse (#31) is right. I'm from MS, and grew up trying to keep the slimy bits of grease soaked egg white and yolks (and giblets - broth, anyone?) out of the ladle before dumping it over my cornbread dressing.

Please keep doing the Food Network recaps! I got married in VT at an Inn run by the New England Culinary Institute, and the highlight of the trip for me was that Alton had been there giving a lecture the week before... and they had leftover copies of his book for sale that he had autographed!!! It sits on my coffee table - right on top of the wedding album.

Kelley:

Please tell me that someone saw Paula's Thanksgiving special with her sons this weekend. They deep fat fried a turkey, and when it was finished, Paula came out to brush the outside with a stick of melted butter and then dumped the remainder of the butter into the turkey. Meanwhile in the kitchen, she and her Hell's Angel husband made a "turkducken"- which- in case your wondering- is a boneless turkey butterflied with all the skin and fat, then a layer of dressing, then a duck- also no bone but all the skin and fat, another layer of dressing, and then a boneless splayed chicken- full fat smashed on top and then rolled up and cooked. Soooo gross! She made some comment about all the juices and fat and how this way everyone got some of each.

ha!:

According to the Food Networks website, http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_sp/episode/0,1976,FOOD_9994_35503,00.html, the show, rerun from November 2004, will air one last time this season Thursday morning at 9:30am ET/PT (8:30am CT). Happy Thanksgiving 'gasmers!

ha!

ha!:

Oops, the correct URL is:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_sp/episode/0,1976,FOOD_9994_35503,00.html

ha!

holyterror:

Kelley (#46): That sounds remarkably like a joke dish that was on The Simpsons -- "Pheasant Under Duck."

FYI --

Rachel Ray will be on Oprah on Wednesday (Nov. 23rd) for a holiday cooking show.

Jen:

seeing this recap and knowing there will be more to come is the best part of my day! great recap!

melanie:

So what if Rachael Ray does'nt have a perfect body,its a friggin cooking show not America' Next Top Model.

melanie:

Excuse me, America's Next Top Model

palmtree:

Okay I was just skimming through this site waiting for new LOST posts when I read this "Who among us hasn’t TiVo’d Everyday Italian just to see how tight fitting Giada’s blouse will be, or hoping we will get a close-up of her massaging a meat product?" And I thought, that sounds like EdHill and sure enough. Love your recaps EdHill!!

kathy:

Thank you Lindy, I was beginning to think I was the only one. I simply cannot stand Giada! She couldn't be more fake and irritating. The only reason I watch her show is too see how annoying she'll be.

volcat:

Bad news for all you Rachael Ray haters-she is going to have her own talk show soon. Just saw it on ET.They did a profile of her favorite things and her favorite ingredient was EVOO-too funny.

I personally like RR. So she doesn't have a perfect body, who cares? She's not skinny, but she's not morbidly obese either. At least you can tell she enjoys the food she cooks.

flame_retard:

Really liked the summary of the All Star Thanksgiving. Right on the money! If you are reading this first for some reason, let me sum up the subsequent posts for you and grant you another 3 free minutes to your life.


  • Rachel has wide hips, can't cook, and is extremely annoying.
  • Giada has a huge head, enormous teeth, pronounces some things strangely, but is still somehow unspeakably hot to many horny guys on this forum.
  • Emeril sucks
  • Paula Deen doesn't cook health food.
  • Michael G's sexuality is under suspicion.
  • Alton Brown is eccentric but great.

Hope this helps.

dude:

you ROCK edhill! keep the food network recaps coming.

rachael ray is possibly the most unattractive woman/chubby 10 year old boy in the world.

Dino:

Great review. I hope this is on again so I can TiVo it.

BTW, for those commenting about Rachel Ray, check out these photos from FHM a couple of years ago.

http://www.durzy.com/news/rachelray10252003.htm

I think she has that girl next door look that's just adorable.

That said, "e-v-o-o" and "yum-o" need to be put to sleep.

Marisleysis:

Okay, I have to know- has anyone else noticed that Rachael Ray's voice fluctuates between a high and low pitch? Who is she kidding? We all know she has the voice of a biker dude from the Bronx. She just tries to cover it up by faking her voice to sound more feminine. But she can only keep up the charade for a couple of sentences, and then she slips up again. Puuuhlease! We all know her NORmal voice is just like a man's... er, uh, ten year old boy, that is.

Leah:

Hey You Idiots
Paula Dean Is the most honest chef on television. If she likes it she eats it. So What???? She makes me excited about cooking!!!!! Isn't that what people want????? I LOVE YOU PAULA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dirtysanchez:

Mmmmm......Giada...

rG:

So much Rachael hate. Makes me sad. I enjoy her manic, trademark overperky stylings. Besides, she's great for us blockheadsin the kitchen.

First of all, wasn't this on LAST YEAR? Regardless, this is the funniest recap.

Lizardqueen Author Profile Page:

Come on Rachel haters. Tell me your not all fired up seeing a soapy Rachel clean the kitchen counter with her ass cheeks. Looks like the strawberry sucking kind of gal you can bring home to mom. She cooks, she cleans, she's tiny enough to still take a bath in the kitchen sink... That's pretty freakin' cute.

cocoa hill:

All I can say is that Rachael Ray had better make the most of her fame right NOW, because that giggly girlishness is NOT going to age well. She's pushing 40...

mac:

Thank you, Jenne. I tried to tell them that quite a while ago, but when you point out things like this you tend to get ignored.

By the way, people who love her, Sandra Lee wasn't on this program because IT'S A REPEAT FROM LAST YEAR! SHE DIDN'T HAVE A SHOW AT THAT TIME.

One more time, this show is from 2004. Please pay attention.

Ashes:

The only thing missing was Bobby Flay being there to just annoy the crap out of everyone.

Cheese Chic:

My ex-bf used to go on and on about how hot Rachael Ray was and would watch her show every day. Two months later, he came out of the closet. 'Nuff said.

Hater:

I guess I'll weigh in:

Rachael Ray ... absolutely adorable. She's like a 5-year-old talking to herself while making pretend-food in her toy kitchen. And the badonkadonk ... excellent.

Giada ... creepy rectangular mouth. She reminds me of Penelope Cruz in that crazy movie where she was a magical cooking show host and Michael from Lost was a big tranny ... her love interest was that guy from "Good Morning Miami" ... can't remember the name.

I, for one, am glad that that waste of space from Semi-Homemade was left of the Thanksgiving special, although it would have been funny to see her make a pan full of Stove-Top, add a pinch of salt, and call it homemade.

Hater:

Now I remember ... the movie was "Woman on Top." Here is a great summary of the awesome plot:

"Isabella is a great cook, making her husband's restaurant in Bahia, Brazil, a success. To control her motion sickness, she must do the driving and be on top during sex, which drives her macho husband, Toninho, to infidelities. Heart-broken, she leaves for San Francisco, moving in with her childhood friend, Monica, a cross-dresser. To mend her heart, she makes an offering to Yemanja, the goddess of the sea. The goddess responds: Isabella no longer loves and the fish in Bahia no longer bite. Stricken, Toninho heads north to get her back; he finds her hosting a popular TV show, Passion Food, courted by its producer. Can he learn humility? Can she find happiness without him?"

Melanie:

Did anyone see the Paula Deen Thanksgiving special? She goes into a candy store at the end and says something to the effect about "fat girls and bringing them into a candy store". I died laughing, Paula is amazing. The woman is my hero, really!

spatula:

"nice color" and "nice frame" Ha!!! Love the Food Network recaps.

And I too was grossed out by the Emeril/Paula erotic bruschetta-feeding.

Love, love, LOVE Alton Brown!

I've got every one of his shows on DVD. And still recording.

Guess I'm a bit anal, too.

archivenerd:

I'm sorry people but if you like Rachael Ray you are not very smart. She is a horrible cook - her food is so unhealthy and opening a jar is not cooking. Her personality if you can call it that is so annoying and dumbed down to this retarded level. Watch Alton - learn to cook and you will be set free of liking this complete ditz of a person.
Giada is a bobblehead and thank you to the person who said she wouldn't know Italian food if it bit her on the ass - I'm from an Italian family and I would be shot if I opened a jar of Ragu like she did on her Xmas special last year.

sweetwill:

Fellow food Junkies galore.

This has been a hard year for me Life ETc. I have not laughed so hardfor so long it was a tremendous relief at your input and reviews. I rushed to watch RR and never laughed so hard. Paula sounds like Graham Kerr in his 70's wine, wine,butter,wine fat,wine days.
Thank you
sweetwill(NOT SWEET ROLL YA"LL)

foodfun:

I am sorry but Raytard is a spaz! I saw her wedding video on ET. She starts skipping down the isle and also giggles throughout the ceremony. Why go to a beautiful Italian Castle to act like a tacky person?

She used to be tolerable, now her fame has gone to her head, and she is totally a cartoon of herself.

I can not believe Oprah is giving Raytard a show. I think Oprah is regressing into her old fat state of wanting artery clogging meals every night, because that is what Raytard cooks, along with hand gestures that look insane, her stupid ear to ear Joker smile and her giggles and yelling! UGH, she is the worst of all, not Emeril!

Anonymous:

alton is my hero, and michael chiarello isn't gay, but definitly an ass. i live in st. helena and went to school with his daughters, and they even hate him. his show also really is not worth watching.

holyterror:

Foodfun, I think she skipped down the "aisle." They skip down the "isle" on Survivor. Though, maybe she was in Sicily, in which case she could do both.

(Sorry ... I'm a librarian.)

foodfun:

Sorry LOL, it was late and I had been writing papers. However you spell aisle, she looked like a spaz and a jerk. Also watching her and her hubby feeding each other on her tastey travels is pretty sickening.

cocoa hill:

I'd like to see a reunion of some of the older Food Network stars, like the cast of the original "How to Boil Water" (does anyone else remember that, with the funny young comedian and the shy chef?), the Two Hot Tamales, David Rosengarten...

Some of these people are rude beyond belief. How could they write these horrid remarks if they weren't watching the shows. If you don't like some of these cooks, then for crying out loud, DON"T WATCH. I wonder how some of them look, smile, dress, talk and COOK. Give them a break, and change channels.

Melodee:

Please stop. I'm going to get fired from laughing out loud at work!
My husband HATES the FNW and I have to sneak in the LR to watch it in peace. Stayed up until 1 AM watching today. I'm so addicted. But last night he came in and said "well at least you're watching that guy (Alton). He's got to be the best on FNW". I've learned to really enjoy his show.

Please tell me Rachael didn't really SKIP down the aisle. OMG..please.

RealityTV4Me:

Gotta step up for my girl Rachael. I love her show(s). She cracks me up. Yeah, she has idosyncracies same as everyone else. But hers don't bother me.

On the other hand, Alton is a tool.

archivenerd just needs to accept the fact that people have different tastes (pun intended). Just because I don't like Alton and rush to change the channel when he is on, doesn't mean that everyone in the world should feel the same way. How boring would THAT be? YUM-O!!

FoodTvRocks:

Giada has man hands. My friend brought this to my attention and now it's all I look at when I catch her show. Beautiful girl, strange, scary man hands. Creepy.

Where was Sandra Lee, our resident Food TV alcoholic? I'm surprised she wasn't asked to create a Turkey Day Cocktail.

Melodee:

Have you noticed the top of this site has Rachael Ray books, RR's travel tips and my personal favorite RR's fat loss secret?! They've got to be kidding!

RealityTV4Me:

Hey, FoodTVRocks -- Read the posts. Posts #29, 47, 64, and especially #67 have all generously pointed out that this is a repeat from last year.

By the way, people who love her, Sandra Lee wasn't on this program because IT'S A REPEAT FROM LAST YEAR! SHE DIDN'T HAVE A SHOW AT THAT TIME.

One more time, this show is from 2004. Please pay attention.

singdan:

OH yeah, Rachael did skip down the aisle, and she giggled like a manic weirdo all through the ceremony during her wedding. She is a flake with no talent or brains.

E:

Rachael Ray has those koo-koo bitch eyes that bounce around in her head, an annoying laugh and at times the Brand X joker smile. A certifiable fucknut. Paula Dean oozes that southern sexuality, like a bar hag, a roadhouse trolling mama. Giada is impish at best. Sara Moulton would serve her talents best in a highschool home ec.class. Tyler Florence is, well, just there. Emeril, hey the 90's called, apparently you left your culinary dignity behind in exhange for BAM. And Alton Brown, dig em. But, Christ must you know everything?

Jenni:

For those of you who hate Rachel Ray, what is it in your life that you've accomplished that makes you so superior to her?

You can't be doing too well yourself or you wouldn't need to hang out here and post nasty stuff about someone who's at least making a good living doing something she loves to do.

Get a life!

mack:

Any straight guys who say they hate Rachael are the ones who watch all her shos with their pants around their ankles. Any woman who hates Rachael need to lose weight and stop being bitter. Any gay man who hates Rachael is just a drama queen and hates all people on TV who are not cute gay men.

Pixie:

Jenni very clearly missed the point of this site.

We go here to laugh at snarky comments about shows we WATCH. Otherwise, what would be the point? You wouldn't get any of the "inside" jokes, because you don't watch the show.

I think Rachel Ray has a psycho manic-type personality and seems to always be in the mood for a good, stiff drink. But I always watch 30 Minute Meals. I always laugh at her uncomfortably interacting with regular humans.

Jenni, you need to get a life for even coming on such a site and telling those of us who post comments to get lives.

K.Z:

The maker of this site needs a life! I bet he/she would not even know how to make Hot Pockets! I will never visit this site again.

I love to watch Rachel Ray just to get a boost of energy for the day. Better that coffee. I can hear my dad now, Stop making faces, let someone else get a word in edgewise. It reminds me of home. Is that her hidden plan. Far as her shape, she's thinner than me so I'll say nothing.

Food TV Rocks:

Michael Chiarello is soooo gay. They showed his wife on the show and when they kissed, it looked exactly like the SNL "kiss" between Liza Minelli & David Gest. Did anyone catch the episode of the show where he showed the "memorial garden" for his friend who passed away? Had to be his gay lover.

lois:

What a funny forum....and I thought my husband and I were the only Food Network fashion critics. This site is the MST of FN cyberspace.
Well done. But give Miss Rachel a break she only has four shows she's shooting now...she has no time for working out and riding her Vespa. Plus have you noticed how 'sexed up' they have her for this season! Geesh!
I giggled my way through the forum. You made my day. I can't wait to show it to my husband and my niece......

lois:

FYI I too thought Michael was gay but I've heard him occasionally make mention of his wife...but where has she been lately? I googled but did not come up with much.....oh well...the saga continues.

anon:

I'm from the south.

Hard Boiled eggs are traditional in southern giblet gravy. You guys must all be northerners.

mr nice:

I suspect there is some kind of cultural debate revolving around RR. After looking at so many forums, I am fascinated by the cultural polarisation that RR evokes. Somehow it mirrors the "Would you drink a beer with X or Y candidate?" questions asked by presidential polls, as if we know anything about that person's life.

Since RR is an empty icon, we bring our own prejudices hopes and peeves to the table. She is a Rorschach test of cooking it seems.

i think people who have a problem with her dislike other vapid shallow media personalities already barnacled in other aspects of news, sports, and movies. there's lots of news reporters who don't report news, actors who can't act, singers who can't sing etc..

It's not really about hating RR, but what she represents, which is hype for hype's sake. It mirrors all the political and cultural nonsense we've experienced in the last 5 years, and I'd say we've all suffered dearly for it. It's not the money or the fame that they dislike, it's the blatant sell she's always doing. it may not be apparant to the RR lovers, because IMHO they don't know how they're being manipulated.

I'd imagine that RR "lovers" like hearty foods with little prep time and wrinkle thir noses at sushi and "fancy" foods, might be uncomfortable taking their kids out for a formal dining experience. No value judgment here. To paraphrase Popeye, It is what it is.

I'd also imagine that RR "haters" can match wines with dishes, and can appreciate their food in a way that emboldens their perception of themselves as individuals of discriminating taste, without commercialized trivialities and isms like Yum-o!

RR is being pushed too fast because everyone puts money into something that makes money, in RR's case with a shovel.
She's so commercialized it seems as if she's just riding on a wave of cash deals. RR wasn't always this way. Something's made her change. I think it's the burden of making big money, and maintaining a standard of living she is unaccustomed to.

For the record, I think she's a diner cook trying to extend a limited repetoire, and this controversy is more interesting than her shows, which seem manic and trivial by comparison.

As for these RR Lovers? Those have got to be interns at RR's PR firm. Like her? Sure. LOOOVE her? You gotta get paid for that. Get real.

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