Then it was time for a quick trip to the candy store. In spite of the "No sampling" signs around the store, Paula stuffed her face with about ten different pieces of candy. "When you bring a fat girl to a candy store, wait'll you see how big her smile gets." Um, no offense, but I'd be more concerned with how big her ass gets, but that's just me.

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Damn, y'all.
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Double Damn, y'all.
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Soap is for sissies
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How romantic!
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Ernest Borgnine meets Santa meets buttermilk on his cereal
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Do y'all think Paula puts butter in her tea?
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Ketchup is more of a vegetable than this thing

After three wardrobe changes due to her general sloppiness and several instances of her sons mimicking her unsanitary finger licking practices (ugh, these people own a restaurant?), it was time to eat.

What did I learn? Well, I learned the difference between "Bawwl" ("boil") and, "Balww" ("ball"), that Paula laughs like Richard Simmons, and that drinking butter from a deep fried turkey carcass is simply devine, y'all!

There's A Turd In My Ducken! Sections:  1  |  2 

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Comments (15)

jash:

wow, i almost threw up my thanksgiving dinner because i'm laughing so hard.


i never watch this show, but damn y'all, i cant believe she even has a show about deep frying a turkey stuffed with butter!

Dana:

I LOVE oyster dressing!!! My friend's mom always made it just for me when I lived in South Carolina. I'm a much better dinner guest than a cook.

holyterror:

I'm surprised there were no crumbled crackers in any of these dishes, or cream of mushroom soup -- those seem to be two of her other staples. At least she got the marshmallows in.

Paula looks like that retarded kid on South Park in that top screencap.

Ken:

Her husband's moustache is yellow! Must be a pound of butter stuck in there!

Brian:

Now, y'all can beat up on Rachael Ray all you want, but I LOSE IT when people say bad things about my beloved Paula Deen! LOL

Wendy:

sg-dub- I died when I saw your comment that your CT friends say that you are from the south. My friends from MA, told me the same thing but I quickly gave them a history and geography lesson about the Mason-Dixon Line.

But I must say us Pennsylvanians need to unite and remain strong...even if you are from the wrong side of the state! :)

Aries:

several instances of her sons mimicking her unsanitary finger licking practices (ugh, these people own a restaurant?)

I thought I was the only one grossed out by Paula's licking her fingers and then touching the rest of the food with it. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I hate to think what goes on behind the scenes of the restaurant. It would be interesting to know what kind of rating it gets from the health department.

joevanni:

I usually love most recaps on TVgasm, but this one was too brutal.

Paula's dishes are not healthy at all, but I don't think her hygiene is bad at all.

Donna Martin Graduates!:

"... stuffed with a hummingbird."

Oh, man. We laughed so hard at that!

Ris:

i wonder if she'll just get lazy and include butter as a "dairy" serving next year

Jen:

My family and I enjoyed a wonderful meal at The Lady and Sons (their restaurant) in Savannah on Thanksgiving Day. The food was outstanding and a buffet so we were filled! They take reservations on holidays so we waited all of 0 minutes!

cresty mccresterson:

I loved this special. We put on a copy @ 9AM on a sunday morning and broke out a bottle of belgian ale and about a dozen busch beers for the three of us. The trick is to drink every time somebody says "Y'all (the phrase "all yall" gets four sips)," Paula kisses her husband, or she uses a stick of butter. Basically, you'll be hammered within the hour and will have a lot of great drinking, er, cooking ideas by the time you're done

daniel:

As crazy as they look...we had a Turducken for thanksgiving and it was DELICIOUS. Try it y'all!

Lizardqueen:

Sometimes we get lazy and just eat the Turd.

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