It's time for the latest installment of the least interested man ever to be the star of a dating show. VH1 has been running commercials all week highlighting Feisty's drunkeness and how it could jeopardize her chances in the house. I'm hoping that the same nonchalant attitude that every single person on this show possesses hasn't trickled down to the producers. I'll be really mad if they basically told us, via commercial, who's getting eliminated this week. That would make me angry.
We catch up with our resident Miami girl, Feisty. She's complaining that she drank her entire bottle of some alcoholic beverage or another, licks Ray J and then makes the 100 yard dash to the bathroom. Who am I kidding? They're in a studio mansion; it's like a 20ft dash.
Chardonnay doesn't think that Feisty's drunken behavior is sexy.
Anyone notice that Chardonnay has on that same red bra on that she used for Ray when she was cooking spaghetti and pubes last week (which is yesterday for them)? Now that doesn't necessarily mean it's dirty because she could have washed it but still...ill. Something about her is just unsettling. Anybra, Feisty pukes while Cocktail holds her hair back and Cocktail starts to suspect that maybe Feisty isn't there for Ray and needs to go home. Cocktail is like the reverse Bloody Mary of this show. If she says your name three times, you're ass is grass. Ray starts with his deep observations early in the show this week. He asks Feisty whats wrong and she says she's drunk. Ray replies
That's like Feisty saying "I'm sleepy" and Ray saying:
Or feisty saying, "I'm hungry" and Ray saying:
Ray J is officially the king of useless advice. He's also disappointed because he was gonna one on one it with feisty tonight. You know? One penis on one vagina... Ray J recounts in detail what he was going to do to Fesity.
Ray changes his mind though because he wants Feisty to be mentally alert so she won't press charges and leaves her to rest. But wait!!!! Does anyone notice a certain blond, "ghetto," reject sitting in the background?
I guess the editors don't give a hell either. The next morning, Cowardly Lion AKA Unique, tells Feisty that she's a whore. That's bold talk considering that Unique looks like a biscuit with hair. I feel like I would give Unique the Chris Brown special if I ever met her, seriously. Danger is on the phone with her brother expressing her disgust for Unique and the secondary plot thickens.
Ray announces that the challenge for today is going to be for charity. Chardonnay says she likes giving back.
Ok maybe she has like 48 red bras but I just can't believe that. Anyway, the girls pull up to a church and Feisty is worried that she'll have to confess her sins. Newsflash: Confession isn't community service...although in her case it might be. Ray J has founded the Norwood Kids Foundation which seeks to increase confidence through the arts and being on reality shows. The girls have to make pancakes and serve them to raise money. Unique, Cocktail and Chardonnay are on one team and Feisty and Danger are on the other. I think they're grouped according to whom Ray J has already shtupped. Take a guess. Chaos ensues in the kitchen, Danger puts her pancake batter on a cookie sheet (WTF?) and Chardonnay curses.
Unique's shady behind starts collecting donations from the opposing team's tables and her team wins. The winners get to lick the bowls of batter.
The kids get to pick which winning team member worked the hardest. Chardonnay rubs one of the kids' heads like it's the tree stump at the Apollo.
Unique tries to use the Magnito Mind Melt
Cocktail looks eerily calm
And then discreetly raises the little boys hand.
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Comments (9)
I will say this, I was surprised at how attractive the RJ women appeared (well, compared to the _current_ cast of ROL bus). However, in the screen caps on page 1 Chardonnay, despite having an amazing body, looked overtly made up. Additionally, while I think Unique is attractive, I don't understand why she won't comb her hair. And, what's up with that hair color. She could go blonde or with blonde streaks without such an off shade. Does she not care about attracting Ray J, at all?
It's a shame Feisty's gone. I think she's the only one who would've willingly had sex with RJ. Brett's girls might be skanky, but at least he gets play -
1 of 9 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on March 29, 2009 6:46 AM
sorry im kinda new to this show but does danger have a TATTOO OF A PEPPER on her face?????
what was she a mascot at a chilli cook off?
2 of 9 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on March 29, 2009 11:25 AM
You just might have the best recaps on this site! Hilarious.
3 of 9 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on March 30, 2009 8:23 AM
LOL, sammy! It's actually a tiger, not a pepper. That's the tiger's tail that looks like a stem.
4 of 9 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 30, 2009 11:18 AM
oh haha thanks for clearing that up for me rubinia! Still, I'm not sure which one I like more... Tiger or pepper?
5 of 9 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on March 30, 2009 11:23 AM
sammy64:
Darn, I wanted to be the one to tell you. It's art though; it's meant to be interpreted. Whether you think it's a pepper or a tiger, you're right!
6 of 9 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 30, 2009 11:57 AM
Mrs Bojangles:
Thanks!I felt like this episode was kinda dry b/c he's gotten rid of a lot of characters but I caught the noon showing of tonight's and wooooowwwww! Check back soon, my typing finger is on fire :-).
7 of 9 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 30, 2009 12:00 PM
anicho01:
I found pics of uique with dark hair and she looks much better (except the weave looks like it weighs a ton). This is the site with her pics and a few of the other girls. http://www.realitytea.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/unique1.jpg
8 of 9 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 30, 2009 12:03 PM
I just checked out that pic of unique and she still looks like a beast. Barfffffff I can't stand her, I'm gunning for cocktail I guess, because danger is freaking psycho. He doesn't like any of them obviousssssly.
9 of 9 | Posted by tlicious420 | Posted on April 1, 2009 1:45 PM