VH1 officially pissed me off by showing a recap episode last week. Was that really necessary? It was so anticlimactic and quite frankly I'm uninterested in this finale. However, I've come this far and I might as well finish off this trash heap of a show.
The episode opens with Danger coming back home from the hospital. She had to go because she was having a panic attack during eliminations. FYI, on the VH1 blog, Danger states that she was not having a panic attack. She says that she was physically sick and she was disgusted by the fact that Ray was sleeping with her but started sleeping with Cocktail too. Danger didn't want to bring a slut to meet her family. I can't blame her, but that's kinda what she signed up for. Ray talks about how different and sexy she was in the beginning but she slowly unraveled as the weeks went on. Ray bravely has a one on one conversation with Danger. She even has her head in his lap. Ray tells Danger that he's concerned for her well being and it doesn't seem like she can hande this so he sends her home. NOOOO!!!!!! What the hell is the point of watching the rest of this episode? I was looking forward to meeting Danger's mother, Caution. And her brother, Warning. Ok, I honestly thought she was going home but the fact that she really did is ruining my night.
Ray tells Unique and Cocktail that Danger is going home and they are really excited.
Ray explains that he will visit each girls family and then they will meet in Vegas for eliminations. The girls are even more excited, fall into each other's arms and wind up in bed. Does anyone NOT end up in bed with Cocktail?
The editors are kind enough to show us a portion of Danger packing and the chick literally starts cackling to herself. I love people like this! If the voices in your head start telling yo momma jokes or whispering Golden Girls quotes, laugh your ass off. Then Danger says that we're gonna think she's a crazy bitch. I can't lie. You basically handed over a free trip to Vegas - yeah you crazy! Danger kinda reminds me of a twisted Raven Symone.
She packs up and I'm thinking of all the ways I can help her kill Ray J just like he killed this finale by sending her home. But then my new BFF, Danger, says that she'll see him again. She really will. Ummm yeah, I think we'll all see him again at the reunion. I can see why Ray liked her. She has that crazy Whitney thing going on and we know how much he likes that.
So Unique and Ray take off on the jet and Unique gets all serious as usual. She asks him if he's gonna be Ray J or Willie. In case you don't know, his actual name is Willie Norwood Jr. He asks what she'd like him to be and she wants him to be Willie. If he was going to meet my family, he'd have to do the same. Ray is actually kinda corny and my family wouldn't even take him seriously with those shades and fur coat. Fur? Seriously?
They pull up to Unique's house and the fur is gone. Haha! I knew she wouldn't let him play himself like that. It's actually kinda cute that he did that for her. But hold up! Unique had those chicken cutlet titties hanging out all day and now she has on a church dress. Phoney baloney. And the surprises don't stop there.
Ray sees that Unique's mom is in charge of this household and immediately tells her that he hasn't done anything of the sort with Unique.
Daaayuumm! He can't win this one. Ray just gives up and stuffs more food in his mouth. Then he says she's beautiful.
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Comments (12)
I hear the reunion will be 2 hours...lol. Just kidding!
1 of 12 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on April 23, 2009 3:57 AM
There will be a reunion cuz it's in my DVR schedule, but I haven't seen any commercials (which means no one catches a beat down. Boo!)
I was pissed at Willie for sending Danger home, too, cuz I really needed to see her family. After that, the whole show just was zzzzz.
2 of 12 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on April 23, 2009 5:15 AM
I saw the reunion preview. Both Danger and Unique have the tackiest weaves! Hoping for a bitch fight.
3 of 12 | Posted by MsssM | Posted on April 23, 2009 7:39 AM
Funny you mention Unique's walk my husband said the same thing. Personally I hoped he would have choosen Unique,,,just to see his mama and her mama battle it out.
4 of 12 | Posted by meloveT | Posted on April 23, 2009 10:07 AM
I must say thank you L Boogie. In just the first minute of me reading this, with the whole part about meeting Danger's family members Caution and Warning, I was already laughing hysterically. Which caused me to forget that I have a 10 page paper due in two days. It also caused the several people around me to give me evil eye and slowly move away from my area. Thank you.
5 of 12 | Posted by congratsmeathead | Posted on April 23, 2009 1:22 PM
I live in Sacramento. Where can I find that 'Danger' chick?? She seems like a party and a half...
Never watched the show. I saw the preview and some clips on the Soup, it looked terrible. Thanks so much for recapping it into something good!
xoxo
6 of 12 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on April 23, 2009 1:24 PM
Very funny recap, L Boogie!
About Cocktail and her mom serving dinner, I think that might be a cultural thing. I'm Costa Rican and Cuban, and the woman in my family do the exact same thing. Even at small dinner parties, I literally serve everyone because that's what my mother's always done. It's really strange because I've never even thought about it before now. It must be a Latin woman thing.
Oh, your comment about how people messing up their English to show that they can not speak another language is exactly like speaking real loud to blind people - Golden! So, true!
7 of 12 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on April 23, 2009 8:10 PM
mamatl:
Honestly, the women always end up serving in our family too but I needed to vent :-)
8 of 12 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:23 PM
Nemesiis:
Something tells me you won't have to look too far for Danger. Judging by the show, she's easily accessible. Thanks for reading and if you catch up to her, record everything!
9 of 12 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:27 PM
congratsmeathead:
You laughed your memory out? I would have loved to see that! And ignore those studious losers. They may know fancy words and definitions, but you know Ray J's real name :-).
10 of 12 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:30 PM
meloveT:
The moms should get a spinoff; start a petition-stat!
11 of 12 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:32 PM
here4beer:
I was actually angry, and clearly bored, watching the rest of the episode once Danger left. I shut my computer off and refused to type in a show of solidarity! That lasted about 2 hours. Hopefully the reunion will provide some Dang-tastic moments.
12 of 12 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:34 PM