Someone like Extra would start the episode off with religious hypocrisy. I'm not even going to address this ploy for screen time. Not unless it gets really good. And then I will. And so I am. The rest of the girls are annoyed that Extra is Bible Girl by day and Slut Whore by night. Gifts doesn't understand how Extra can be reading the Bible but was just doing splits and showing off her pink & green underwear the night beore.

"Yeah I looked at her panties. Got a problem with that?"

Moving right along...Lil B has arrived and hits us with her trademark phrase in a record .03 seconds.

"Your man didn't pay the cable bill."

Finally Ray J comes up on the screen and announces that today's challenge is to write a screenplay in which the girls will be his leading lady. Each girl will get a chance to act out a scene with Ray that reflects who they are. If i had to guess, I'd say:

Lady Godiva

Pocahontas

Harriett Tubman

Rudy Huxtable: The Rehab Years

I just might be right on one of these.

"Your man has one ounce of dignity left."

Gifts is concerned about her performance because she's only an exotic dancer and has never acted before but those concerns are unwarranted.

After all, you act like that shirt fits.

Exotica, America's favorite illegal alien, doesn't understand what they are supposed to do. She says that she doesn't like to write or act and she is positively insulted when one of the girls asks if she is wife material.

"How eez it you spell I am zee money grabbing ho?"

Just as I predicted last week, Luscious has taken to becoming a slut in order to solidify her spot in the house. She is wearing a shirt that says "Ray's Girl" and, in the words of Heart Breaker, "a piece of jean". It's so bad that even VH1 had to blur it out. Look at her!!

"I hope Ray puts his #%&* in my %$&8 and I'll squirt %^#* all over his $%&$* and he %$^&T the alphabet on my $#&."

Based on Lava's outfit of a bloodied tank top and short shorts, I'm guessing she'll be doing Chris Brown and Rihanna circa February 2009.

"S.O.S. please someone help me!"

Too soon? Anysmack, Lil B stops the hos before their brains overheat from all of this thinking and announces that they will watch each other's scenes. Just Right goes first and she and Ray J are Bonnie and Clyde. Ray J says that he wants to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and make love. Yes Ray J; that's the best place for two criminals to hide. Just Right says that there are too many cameras around and she doesn't want another sex tape scandal.

"Even I can't believe I just said that."

Ray J's is shocked initially but then laughs the comment off and says that he had fun with her. Hell even I smiled a little during their scene so she's okay with me. Until she says this.

"I think I did goo-wood."

What is with these accents this season? How do you make 'good' a three syllable word? Then Lil B gets in on the illiteracy wagon and announces that the next scene is Mrs. Jagwire. First of all, Mrs. means a woman is married and that's not a good thing to be on a dating show. Secondly, Jag-wire is a made up word. What Lil B meant to say was Jaguar. As my annoyance intensifies on Jaguars behalf, she has the nerve to go into Ray J's room and tell him that he'll be playing himself. A mulit-billionaire.

Jaguar has written a hip hopera in which she breaks into Ray J's house, they sing to each other, get sexified and when she leaves, he realizes that she's stolen his wallet. I hate to admit it, but it was actually pretty good. Next up is Trouble and she feels that she should have taken more time with her script. I'd have to agree since there wasn't one! It was just blank page after blank page. She basically laid Ray J on the bed, sat on him and then ate a strawberry.

The chance she has of making it to the next episode.

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Posted in For the Love of Ray J by L Boogie at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: sammy64 on Nov 19, 2009 10:58 AM.